I was in between insomnia, flipping around when I decided to go back memory lane. 4am in Singapore; a writing that I once put myself into the back seat, writing what it was like for insomnia for me in Singapore, at 4am. It was a strange time, in between dawn and dusk, a time when you see the world go quiet.

Reading this awkward 12 years old piece of work of mine.

In this episode of Rye off React, we came across a heavy topic. What would you do if your spouse to be disappeared on the day of the wedding, leaving you to deal with the whole wedding alone? People would keep asking you what happened and why; but you'll still be as clueless since you are "abandoned" and ghosted for several months after.

Months done the road and suddenly this person decided to appear in your life again, is it a selfish way of theirs to seek closure? Would you still correspond or speak to this person? For having put you through this trauma?

It was an interesting night, and I decided to push up the queuing of this. I recorded this after coming back from our Singapore Genshin Concert (Day 1), and everything was so surreal.

The music and everything is great (of course), though I'd reckon to have more Liyue music anytime. The highlight to me however, is our Discord Community recruitment drive, where we give away Genshin Acrylic pieces to people who'd join our server!

It wasn't a cheap gift (acrylic leh), but I really do enjoy giving and seeing the joy and happiness on the faces of our fellow travellers. I decided to dig deeper about how it felt like how I was working into hostels back in the days where I bring people together to create a more inclusive and more wholesome community; just like us... now :)

"Do you want kids?", This is probably one of the most common story between couples when they're trying to work things out. So Chilli and I dived into this years long relationship that seemingly might not work out because their "family-goals" didn't align.

In this episode of Rye off React, Chilli and I actually dive into this wedding situationship where things took for the worse turn. Best friends for 18 years only to have one weekend to ruin things? What could be so bad? What is a breaking point and what happened when your friend is difficult get along and is the alpha all the way in a friendship? We find out (:

In this episode of Rye off the Bat, I decided to share this thought that came to my mind; "Think about what you’re going to do not what you would have done". I hopped onto recording straight, thinking of how it make sense to me then, as if like an epiphany, about how we actually have more control if we look forward instead of back.

In this awkward episode of Rye off React; Chilli and I discuss and dive into this seemingly "dumb" reason as mentioned by the OP of his girlfriend cheating on it. It might seem like any other cheating story, but diving in, we also noticed a variety of issues; from insecurities or self-sabotaging tendency where it might not have been addressing in a relationship. So what makes a relationship work? Or why might one cheat?

After speaking to my doctor, I still am having some fatigue, especially the lack of motivation and finding myself struggling to stay awake in the day, which lead me to try switching up to taking Prozac at night.

So far it's been a week plus in, and I find myself sleeping much better, as my mind tend to be less active and awake after taking prozac, instead of the supposed effect to be opposite.

In the 3rd part of our podcast, Chilli and I decided to read a short creepy-pastaish style kinda story about how they met this weird person which... turn out to be a creep and to be even hiding in her closet. Digging deeper there are infact creepy squatters that do this or even hid/live in houses like these. how creepy it actually is... let's find out (or not).

It was a hard podcast to make, I felt... oddly painful to be vulnerable in this one. I'd given up on the thought of love some time ago and digging deeper and asking myself why; I realized that I was in love the past version of my lovers, before they changed into someone else.

Perhaps we had all grown and it was the time for us to part, perhaps it was the universe telling me that I have to learn loving myself first. It was utterly painful when I see her move on, while I was holding our half written chapter waiting for her to come back to finish our story; but she didn't.

So... I think what i miss was being able to imagine a future with you

(semi trigger warning)