Whether you can swim or not, Dear Guest, you're still in grave danger of tonight's maelstrom of moist monsters: The Malevolent Mermaids! Your Hell or high water host has 3 waterlogged, brutal beauties to share with you. So put your water wings on and hope for the best! You'll also be pleased to hear that tonight's soaking wet sponsor is The Evil Witches Yacht Club! (glub, glub)

**BONUS! Sample of Stefan Strangeways’ Story