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S1EP3 | Pioneers of Pain | The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom
Welcome to Season 1, Episode 3 of The Messy Podcast!
Tagline: Pioneers of Pain – The Franke family’s move to Springville, Ruby’s miscarriage trauma, and the façade of religious piety.
In this episode, we explore:
The Move to Springville (2009):
Ruby’s obsession with painting the house "cheerful" yellow ("trapped inside a giant banana" from Shari’s POV).
Springville’s LDS pioneer history: Founded in 1850, proximity to Provo Temple, and the "Wasatch Mountains as the edge of the world."
Chad’s reverse mohawk punishment (haircut incident) as a symbol of Ruby’s escalating control.
Ruby’s Miscarriage Trauma (2009):
Third miscarriage at 17 weeks: Loss of a son named Benjamin, fetal kicks felt, and Ruby’s emotional shutdown (no grieving allowed).
The Dream: Ruby grocery-shopping with a boy who says, “I don’t have a mommy” → pregnancy with her fifth child.
Psychological impact: Ruby’s fixation on pregnancy as "divine purpose" and emotional volatility.
Shari’s Baptism at 8 Years Old:
Submersion in the baptismal font: "Felt like a warm waffle laid on top of me" (journal entry).
Gift of gold-embossed scriptures and obsession with Joseph Smith’s story (compared to Frozen).
Juxtaposition: Baptism as spiritual safety vs. growing dread of Ruby’s rages.
Religious Masking of Dysfunction:
Ruby’s "sex talk" on the porch: Shari’s confusion about adult relationships and church leaders.
Tithing lessons: Kevin’s explanation vs. Ruby’s emphasis on "a woman’s first duty to husband/church."
Journal Entry: "I don’t think my mother loves me" (written at 11) and night terrors about demons.
Key Quotes from the Book:
"Ruby’s self-worth was built on exceptionalism—if she couldn’t be extraordinary at piano, she’d be extraordinary at motherhood."
"Baptism felt like safety, security, and warmth... compared to the eternal truths of the gospel, Ruby’s tantrums seemed small."
"In this house, we don’t make excuses for other people’s bad behavior." (Ruby to Shari after Chad’s punishment).
"My earliest memories are of Ruby crying… ironic, since she seemed immune to anyone else’s tears."
Themes to Highlight:
Sacred vs. Sadistic: How Ruby weaponized LDS teachings (e.g., motherhood as "divine calling") to justify control.
Generational Cycles: Ruby replicating her strict upbringing (helping raise siblings in a "bootstraps" culture).
Performance Piety: Contrast between public devotion (tithing, baptism) and private cruelty (slaps, emotional neglect).
Childhood Dissonance: Shari’s anxiety manifesting as lip-picking, night terrors, and self-loathing despite outward obedience.
Narration & Discussion Points:
Ruby’s Motivations: Did her miscarriage trauma fuel her need for control over her children?
Cultural Context: How did Utah’s pioneer history and LDS emphasis on large families enable Ruby’s behavior?
Shari’s Journal: Analyze her entry: "I am so mad at Mom sometimes… I hate myself, and I have for a while."
Foreshadowing: The haircut incident as a precursor to Jodi’s later sadism.
Recommended Interviews:
LDS Scholar: Discuss doctrinal views on miscarriage, motherhood, and stoicism.
Child Psychologist: Link Shari’s scrupulosity/OCD to religious guilt and emotional neglect.
Utah Historian: Explore Springville’s pioneer roots and its modern "family vlogging" culture.
Soundtrack Suggestions:
Somber hymns (Come, Come Ye Saints nods to pioneer struggles).
Distorted church bells during Ruby’s rage scenes.
Hopeful piano motifs during Shari’s baptism segment.
Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.
View all episodes
By The Messy PodcastWelcome to Season 1, Episode 3 of The Messy Podcast!
Tagline: Pioneers of Pain – The Franke family’s move to Springville, Ruby’s miscarriage trauma, and the façade of religious piety.
In this episode, we explore:
The Move to Springville (2009):
Ruby’s obsession with painting the house "cheerful" yellow ("trapped inside a giant banana" from Shari’s POV).
Springville’s LDS pioneer history: Founded in 1850, proximity to Provo Temple, and the "Wasatch Mountains as the edge of the world."
Chad’s reverse mohawk punishment (haircut incident) as a symbol of Ruby’s escalating control.
Ruby’s Miscarriage Trauma (2009):
Third miscarriage at 17 weeks: Loss of a son named Benjamin, fetal kicks felt, and Ruby’s emotional shutdown (no grieving allowed).
The Dream: Ruby grocery-shopping with a boy who says, “I don’t have a mommy” → pregnancy with her fifth child.
Psychological impact: Ruby’s fixation on pregnancy as "divine purpose" and emotional volatility.
Shari’s Baptism at 8 Years Old:
Submersion in the baptismal font: "Felt like a warm waffle laid on top of me" (journal entry).
Gift of gold-embossed scriptures and obsession with Joseph Smith’s story (compared to Frozen).
Juxtaposition: Baptism as spiritual safety vs. growing dread of Ruby’s rages.
Religious Masking of Dysfunction:
Ruby’s "sex talk" on the porch: Shari’s confusion about adult relationships and church leaders.
Tithing lessons: Kevin’s explanation vs. Ruby’s emphasis on "a woman’s first duty to husband/church."
Journal Entry: "I don’t think my mother loves me" (written at 11) and night terrors about demons.
Key Quotes from the Book:
"Ruby’s self-worth was built on exceptionalism—if she couldn’t be extraordinary at piano, she’d be extraordinary at motherhood."
"Baptism felt like safety, security, and warmth... compared to the eternal truths of the gospel, Ruby’s tantrums seemed small."
"In this house, we don’t make excuses for other people’s bad behavior." (Ruby to Shari after Chad’s punishment).
"My earliest memories are of Ruby crying… ironic, since she seemed immune to anyone else’s tears."
Themes to Highlight:
Sacred vs. Sadistic: How Ruby weaponized LDS teachings (e.g., motherhood as "divine calling") to justify control.
Generational Cycles: Ruby replicating her strict upbringing (helping raise siblings in a "bootstraps" culture).
Performance Piety: Contrast between public devotion (tithing, baptism) and private cruelty (slaps, emotional neglect).
Childhood Dissonance: Shari’s anxiety manifesting as lip-picking, night terrors, and self-loathing despite outward obedience.
Narration & Discussion Points:
Ruby’s Motivations: Did her miscarriage trauma fuel her need for control over her children?
Cultural Context: How did Utah’s pioneer history and LDS emphasis on large families enable Ruby’s behavior?
Shari’s Journal: Analyze her entry: "I am so mad at Mom sometimes… I hate myself, and I have for a while."
Foreshadowing: The haircut incident as a precursor to Jodi’s later sadism.
Recommended Interviews:
LDS Scholar: Discuss doctrinal views on miscarriage, motherhood, and stoicism.
Child Psychologist: Link Shari’s scrupulosity/OCD to religious guilt and emotional neglect.
Utah Historian: Explore Springville’s pioneer roots and its modern "family vlogging" culture.
Soundtrack Suggestions:
Somber hymns (Come, Come Ye Saints nods to pioneer struggles).
Distorted church bells during Ruby’s rage scenes.
Hopeful piano motifs during Shari’s baptism segment.
Support Us: Visit https://themessypodcast.com to support our mission.