This week we are trying to decipher door codes on alien trains while we discuss “731”! We’re talking Mr. X being covered in dog hair, starting work meetings by begging people not to kill you, Chris Carter’s strange cameo, Mr. X carting Mulder around ass-first, and the insane way our shadow man recites numbers. We unveil our new name for the cabal of evil old men, talk about how dangerous atomic blomb explosions are, and check in on Scully’s evil dads. Hallmark greeting card idea for the Cigarette-Smoking Man: Sorry for creating an alien-human hybrid and lying about it (and also kidnapping your sister and ruining your life)!

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