Scully Nation: An X Files Rewatch Podcast

This week we are joining an alien cult to witness the birth of Scully’s baby while we discuss “Existence”! We’re talking aliens parachuting out of a ship in race cars like in The Fast and the Furious, Skinner getting karate chopped in the head in the goofiest way possible, whether or not we’re still on the Crane Train, how Doggett’s Topgolf crew has been defecting all year, how this is Reyes’ fourth rodeo, and the ridiculous amount of Baby Jesus references. We discuss Mulder warning Doggett about secret informants, wonder what The Lone Gunmen got Scully as a gift, and (some of us) get sad that they massacred our boy! Also: welcome to yet another William in a long line of Williams. You were apparently named after Scuba Bill and nobody else.

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are wrapping up The Lone Gunmen while we discuss “The Cap’n Toby Show” and “All About Yves”! We’re talking your classic hot dog mascot costume mixup, how grim it is that Jimmy is now living in their creepy warehouse with them, sexy spy fights, how we simply must stop making fun of Langly’s hair, and how we are now massive fans of the half-man half-crab Clarence the Crab. We have a hot debate on whether Morris Fletcher is fun to hate or just hateable, get sad that our Kimmy banishment didn’t work, get excited about the John Gillnitz cameo, want to see Fletcher really sleazing up a Backroom Boys meeting, wonder whether we’d rather spend a day with Fletcher or Kimmy, and get kind of sad that the show finally came into its own in the last episode. To be continued, my ass!

Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by Friday November 22nd!

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are attending a species reveal party for Scully’s baby while we discuss “Essence”! We’re talking Margaret and Scully getting into mortal combat, karate chop decapitation, fake “friends” and “family” at this baby shower, Doggett conducting Doggett Activities (watching NASCAR and cleaning his gun), the strengthening evidence of Mulder’s cat energy, and wonder who can look more sad: Mulder or Doggett? The answer may surprise you. We cheer on the awkward evidence guy, wonder whether Reyes is just able to fast travel now, wonder whether Scully had a special evening with Zeus himself, debate just how long Krycek would have stood in that hallway, get really excited about Agent Crane and his radical airport controller moves, and lose our minds about Mulder pulling out of a parking spot. It has to be seen to be believed.

Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by November 23rd (or 23th)!

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Instagram!

This week we are infiltrating a tango competition and tracking down blackmailing brothers while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Tango de los Pistoleros” and “The Lying Game”! We’re talking baby boy Schnauz, Frohike’s Miami trauma, how the only excitement these boys get is playing catch with toilet paper, how Ella summoned Kimmy back into existence, the Frojack, and secret tango pasts. We welcome back Skinner: the real star of the show, note that Byers has a type (mysterious blonde women with ugly sunglasses), theorize that Doggett is a big ellipsis guy, get really scared of Jimmy in a Skinner mask, celebrate Ally Byers, and answer the age-old question of whether Skinner would sleep with his clone. Also, we celebrate the show giving us the greatest Skinner line of all time: I’m taking your computer and shutting off your internet service. This is going to be the next big X-Files meme. Mark our words.

Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by November 23rd (or 23th)!

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are hanging out with annoying coworkers in dank tunnels while we discuss “Alone”! We’re talking how Doggett was ruined by the X-Files in only a few short months, how regifting really loses its charm after the fourth or seventh time, whether there’s a radon leak in the basement office, that Leyla easily could have been another Krycek, how Doggett is always getting himself into Looney Tunes situations, and how we’re mostly excited that we are continuing the travel expenses storyline. It’s what the people truly want! We are bankrolling Images of Mulder, this summer’s hot new coming-of-age drama, getting excited about the lizard turning people into juice boxes, enjoying funemployed Mulder, and how there’s only so much more passing the baton that we can take. Mostly we’re just thrilled at the confirmation that Mulder and Scully do need to be dragged away from work by their fingernails. Canon!

Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by Saturday November 23rd!

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are for some reason breaking into maximum-security prison and hunting down grizzly bear poachers while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Maximum Byers” and “Diagnosis: Jimmy”! We’re talking Jimmy being put on death row for impersonating Elvis, how we didn’t know Byers was capable of bullying anyone, our favorite character Stronk, Steve Martin’s possible culpability in this evil scheme, and that Jimmy would definitely be a wife guy, and it’s strange that he hasn’t been snatched up already. He’s hot and dumb and rich! We worry about Langly getting frostbite through his 42 t-shirts, get into a death match over candy, get put off by Marilyn the sexy evil nurse, laugh at Byers’ super-serious bear trauma, and how messed up it is to let your eyebrows fall off into your patient’s open wounds. And just a PSA: if candy is literally falling out of your pockets, you know you have a problem.

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are jumping off an oil rig in slow-motion while we discuss “Vienen”! We’re talking the show’s triumphant return to Boat X-Files, Bo Crowder’s surprise appearance, whether or not the Zodiac Killers is an open X-File, how much Mulder and Doggett hate each other, Skinner not being able to resist eating some delicious caramels off Kersh’s desk, Mulder’s undeniable cat energy, and whether Scully is busy doing a bunch of pranks when she’s teaching at Quantico. We wonder why nobody seems to notice that Mulder does not give a shit anymore, enjoy Mulder and Doggett’s matching outfits, worry about Scully going into labor as a result of dismay at Mulder’s actions, explore Amanda’s troubling work situation, and yet again wonder about Kersh and Skinner’s whole deal. New drinking game: take a shot every time Scully flips that sheet off the body to shock somebody.

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are entering a low-resolution virtual reality and helping chimpanzees learn Shakespeare while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Madam, I’m Adam” and “Planet of the Frohikes”! We’re talking the running bit of The Lone Gunmen newspaper being found in the trash, whether or not Jimmy would be jealous of Mulder’s existence, Frohike getting into a beef with a child, finding goo in EVERY crevice, Yves being TLG’s emergency contact, that evil scientists can be wives too, and get really excited about the star of the show Maniac Marvin. We check in on Yves playing the Sims, get inspiration from a pro wrestler-themed wedding, wonder where we can sign up for the Monkey Liberation Army, note how Thomas Schnauz really got nepo-friended along in his career, and lament Ned Ryerson’s lack of a Blockbuster card. I mean, are you even alive if you don’t have a Blockbuster card?

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are taking our faces off to reveal a tinier fiery face while we discuss “Empedocles”! We’re talking Reyes’ girl potential, comfy Scully, how dangerous it is to put two believers on one case, Jeb!, how much we enjoy how much Doggett and Mulder hate each other, and think it’s suspicious that Skinner didn’t show up to Scully’s hospital room. We do a lot of bad Batman voices (sorry in advance), wonder whether Mulder might actually be a ghost, try to stop Doggett from looming over Scully and having creepy visions, wonder whether Johnica could be a thing, debate the importance of an Evil Vaccine, and support Scully while she demands that Mulder be nice to Doggett, her only other friend. Also, this is serious business this week, because this is a case with some phenomena. What kind of phenomena? You’ll have to listen to find out.

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

This week we are seeking out water-powered cars and being ill-equipped to take care of babies while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Like Water for Octane” and “Three Men and a Smoking Diaper”! We’re talking how Byers isn’t capable of carrying heavy boxes, question why Jimmy is doing all of their grunt work, add another Robe Wife to the collection, point out Langly’s cow trauma, and admire TLG’s cute little catsuits. We watch Langly go full cartoon mouth, realize that Byers was Suit Guy, get sad because Jimmy doesn’t know how to lick envelopes, laugh at yet another William, get scared of a bizarre kitchen appliance, and roll our eyes a lot at this whole baby storyline. Aren’t we getting enough of that on the main show?

Send us an email at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter and Instagram!