This week we are escaping hordes of cats in the sewers while we discuss “Teso Dos Bichos”! We’re talking whether or not Mulder would eat bloody, half-digested sunflower seeds, how un-scary Scully getting attacked by a little kitty cat is, the coolest night watchman of all time, Dr. Horny, and The Mummy 3: Lost in New York. We track how Mulder relies on evil government agents breaking into his apartment to feed his fish, chart character arcs on a Will Graham scale, and discover that when a bunch of cats touch each other, they turn into a jaguar. Step aside, Howie, we got a new Howie on the block.

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