Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 18: Jonathan's Covenant with David / Saul Becomes Jealous of David. Today we learn that Wife is only worth one measley . Jonathan and David become "besties" (pretty sure that's a euphemism) and Saul goes bananas. Probably from all the dead lying around, but what do we know?

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 17: David Kills Goliath / Israel Routs the Philistines. Some wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey bs is happening because Saul has been fired twice but he's still the king, and David was made king and harpist but now he's just a ballsy kiddo that no one's ever heard of. We are v. disappointed to learn that Goliath is less a "giant" and more just a super tall hat with a nice shaft.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 26: David Anointed King / David Plays the Harp for Saul. Samuel thinks David is super gorgeous and God is like "Stop judging a book by its cover" but then God gets inside David and even he admits this kid is hawt af. Saul has PMS and calls for the yummy boy to play a harp at him. mmmm

Husband and Wife cover questions about the Tribe of Judah, as well as who tf Nahash was and why he was all obsessed with carving out people's eyes. Then we go off topic a bit and discuss the Dead Sea Scrolls; women subjugating themselves to men; and finances. It's a bit of a ride.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 15: Saul's Disobedience and Rejection. Remember that time Saul was fired? But then he just kept being king anyway? Well he gets fired For Real this time. And God says he regrets ever making Saul king in the first place which kinda kills that whole "God can see the future" vibe.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 14: Saul's Disobedience and Samuel's Rebuke (cont). Even tho Saul was fired, he still acts all kingy and leads his guys right up to the edge of the Philistine camp. His son Jonathon sneaks over and somehow causes mayhem, which is good for the Israelites, but then he eats honey, which a bad thing to do because reasons, and his dad is like, "You are so grounded, I'm gonna kill you!" Everyone knows that eating honey is a murderable offense. He doesn't die but it was really touch and go there for a sec.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 13: War with the Philistines / Saul's Disobedience and Samuel's Rebuke. Bad luck! The Israelites army dwindles, Saul gets fired, and the Philistines have the upper hand. Dark night of the soul! All is lost! Worst day ever! &etc.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 11: Saul Defeats the Ammonites. This bad dude Nahash kept trying to steal everyone's right eye, but our guys aren't having it because they wanna keep both their collective eyes intact. Saul hears about the situation and goes berserk, slaughtering oxen and whatnot. But it's cool because he's a king now.