Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 10: Saul Chosen King (cont.). Samuel has each tribe draw lots for absolutely no reason since Saul was already chosen to be king. I don't think Saul is excited tho because first he neglected to give his uncle the news, and then he hid in the baggage. The people, however, are all keen on this new setup, except for some nerf-herders and one-eyed Ammonite escapees.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 9: Saul Chosen King. This guy from the rapey tribe of Benjamin, walking around all over the place looking for his lost asses, gets chosen to be king, which is kinda cool cuz he seems pretty humble. I guess God and Samuel changed their minds about messing with the Israelites for dissing Sammy's frat-boy, grifty- brats.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 8: Israel Asks for a King. Turns out that Samuel with the good hair is a bad dad who neglected to teach his sons how to properly run a grift, so the peeps in town want a new boss. Samuel is like, "Fine. But if my kids can't be kings, I'ma choose the worst possible candidate to rule over y'all," because it turns out he's a too.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 7: The Philistines Return the Ark (cont.) / Samuel Judges Israel. We have questions about fasting as a spiritual practice (aren't you really just hangry?). At Samuel's urging, the Israelites get rid of their false idols - but did they tho? We're no prophets, but it just doesn't very likely.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 6: The Philistines Return the Ark. Gold tumors and rats are the truck nuts of the Bronze Age. And Indiana Jones had it right when he told Marion not to look at the Ark! That thing will either give you plagues, knock over your, or melt your face off.

Husband and Wife answer questions about this suddenly militaristic God, as well as Dagon. And now we wanna be Dagonists because it turns out he was way cooler than Yahweh. Plus his wife was known as "mistress who amazes the world" which is what I want to be for Halloween this year.

Husband and Wife cover 1 Samuel chapter 5: The Ark in the Land of the Philistines. It's not good, y'all. There are broken statues and lots of tumors and these guys are like, "um, can you have it back now, cuz we don't want it." Pretty sure the Philistines are about to throw the Ark back at the Israelites.