Safe Home Podcast

We are just switching our name from Safe Home Podcast to Unraveling Adoption, and this is the first full episode under our new name. 

In this week’s episode, Beth Syverson chats with Leslie Pate Mackinnon, a licensed clinical social worker and an adoption activist for the past 30 years. Leslie is a seasoned and well-respected therapist in the adoption community. She is a nationally known trainer who travels across the country training therapists, agencies and child welfare workers about the psychological issues inherent in adoption and third-party reproduction. Following four decades of successful practice in Atlanta, Leslie and her husband relocated to Asheville, NC. 

Leslie comes to this work by way of being a birthmother in the 1960s, the Baby Scoop Era. She understands adoption trauma deeply, both as a lived experience and as a therapist for all members in the adoption constellation - adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents. On Safe Home Podcast, we’ve had 8 episodes so far with adoptees, and 1 episode with another adoptive parent, but this is our first episode from the birth mom’s perspective, which is a super-critical piece of this puzzle.

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💌 Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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RESOURCES:

Leslie’s information:

• Website: https://lesliepatemackinnon.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063478541379
• Email: [email protected]

Other resource mentioned in this episode:

• Paul Sunderland’s speech about adoption & addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pX4C-mtiI

Other Resources:

• Other Parents Like Me -  https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
• Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption

www.UnravelingAdoption.com

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TIME STAMPS:

  2:00 All voices in adoption matter, and adoptees’ voices come first 

  3:16 Positive adoption language and listening to adult adoptees

  6:35 Birth parents’ stories are often suppressed

  8:16 Leslie’s birth parent experience #1

16:08 Adoptees and birth parents both get stuck in culture’s judgements about adoption

17:03 Coping with trauma with substances, the intersection between adoption and addiction

25:30 Adoptive parents talking openly with their children about their adoption

28:35 Leslie’s birth parent experience #2

33:25 Birth parents’ difficulties, then and now

39:00 The importance of family preservation, and Follow the Money

44:10 How Leslie & Beth are dealing with their past regrets

In this very special episode, Beth Syverson, host of Safe Home Podcast, explains her pivot to Unraveling Adoption. This is the last episode of Safe Home, and the first episode of Unraveling Adoption. She explains what the new title means, what the future plans are, and she provides ways for everyone to help get the new podcast launched.

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💌 Sign up for our email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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RESOURCES:

Beth’s information:

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

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Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

Unraveling Adoption is created by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Amanda Mullins

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

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TIME STAMPS:

1:22 Thanks to all those who’ve helped make Safe Home Podcast happen, and some stats

9:17 Why are we making the pivot to Unraveling Adoption?

10:50 What does Unraveling Adoption mean?

13:05 What are our plans for the future?

16:26 Ways you can help

In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lainie Liberti and her 23yo son Miro Siegel.

Lainie Liberti is a best selling author, international speaker, teen mentor,  worldschooler, partnership parenting paradigm advocate and mother. In 2012 Lainie co-founded Project World School with her son and has lived in community with over a 100 teens in over 20 international locations. Lainie founded Transformative Mentoring for Teens in 2020 in response to the growing need to support teen's mental health. Lainie just released her first book, Seen, Heard & Understood, Parenting and Partnering with Teens for Greater Mental Health, the number 1 best seller on Amazon in the Parenting New Releases. Her book is right in line with what we’ve been advocating here at Safe Home - that parents do their own work and partner with their kids instead of being an authoritarian figure over them.

Beth talks with Lainie and Miro about unschooling and worldschooling because they lead a fascinating alternative life. But over the top of everything is the partnership that they’ve nurtured which allows them to both live as their fully authentic selves.

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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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RESOURCES:

Lainie’s & Miro’s information:

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

===============

Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

In this very special episode, Beth Syverson, host of Safe Home Podcast, explains her pivot to Unraveling Adoption. This is the last episode of Safe Home, and the first episode of Unraveling Adoption. She explains what the new title means, what the future plans are, and she provides ways for everyone to help get the new podcast launched.

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💌 Sign up for our email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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RESOURCES:

Beth’s information:

• Email Beth at [email protected]
• Become a Patreon supporter at Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
• APtitude Support Group Membership Form (FREE): https://forms.gle/vD8mfJy3fJUDmCJe6
• More info about APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: SafeHomeFamilies.com/APtitude

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• Relapse episodes:
• • Episode 6: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3Lt2RSxK1vb
  • Episode 12: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/AHNFiRxK1vb
  • Episode 13: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3Fsl3QxK1vb
• Spencer LaJoye’s episode: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/Non-Binary-Musician-Spencer-LaJoye---Ep-37-e1guoa5
• Brenda Bash-Cooper’s episode: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/Adoption-Story-with-Brenda-Bash-Cooper---Ep-21-e1c2v4r
• Cough Medicine episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/sMAeRLrM3vb

Other Resources:

• Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
• Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

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Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

Unraveling Adoption is created by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Amanda Mullins 

Email questions or comments to [email protected]

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TIME STAMPS:

  1:22 Thanks to all those who’ve helped make Safe Home Podcast happen, and some stats

  9:17 Why are we making the pivot to Unraveling Adoption?

10:50 What does Unraveling Adoption mean?

13:05 What are our plans for the future?

16:26 Ways you can help

In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with   Carolyn Balagot, an advocate for neurodiverse people. In her family, she, her husband, and her 3 kids are all neurodiverse in one way or another - primarily with ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. She has worked at her children’s school as a 504 case carrier, advocating for students’ needs. Her kids all went to school at Orange County School of the Arts, where I used to teach and which I highly respect and admire. Especially in an arts school, all kinds of diversity are celebrated, including neurodiversity. Carolyn will talk to us about her family’s challenges and triumphs, and help us know how to better advocate for our neurodivergent loved ones or community members.

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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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RESOURCES:

Carolyn’s information:

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

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Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

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TIME STAMPS:

1:52 Carolyn’s family’s background and diagnoses

8:20 High-functioning and low-functioning are outdated. What vocabulary is correct nowadays?

9:50 Autistic people?  Or people with autism?

12:35 504 v IEP accommodations

13:55 Is anxiety a neurodivergence? Is a student with anxiety eligible for accommodations?

15:48 Cum. files and labeling in school

18:33 What is ableism? What are some examples of ableist policies in school and work?

21:20 Did Carolyn’s child’s diagnosis make things better or worse?

22:30 Carolyn and her husband are waiting to get their own diagnosis of autism confirmed

25:40 How job interviews are challenging for autistic people and how to make them better

27:30 The powerful concept of universal design

28:43 Carolyn’s advice for parents who think their child might be neurodiverse

30:10 Why to steer clear of ABA - listen to adult autistic people

35:15 Why Autism Speaks is problematic

37:40 Carolyn’s advocacy for the LGBTQ community too

In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Lipp, a documentary filmmaker and social entrepreneur working at the intersection of mental health, storytelling, and technology. Amanda has produced over 80 short documentaries about mental health and social impact - covering topics such as youth psychosis, schizophrenia, art therapy, cyberbullying prevention, and housing relief from wildfires.  A passionate mental health advocate, she has given over 150 speeches around the U.S. since age 18 sharing her journey navigating the mental health system. Amanda is passionate about mental health leadership, policy change, and tying films to mental health research studies. She serves on the Mental Health Advisory Panel at Google, and the Interdepartmental Serious Mental Illness Committee (ISMICC) created by Congress to advise on federal mental health policy. Amanda formerly served on the board of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the largest grassroots mental health nonprofit in the U.S.

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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

SafeHomeFamilies.com

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RESOURCES:

Amanda’s information:

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

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TIME STAMPS:

2:09 Amanda’s lived experience with mental illness

6:05 Sports injuries and Amanda’s depression

9:50 Using drugs like an emotional credit card

11:05 Amanda’s support system and challenges of parenting a “problem child”

12:55 Amanda’s major mental breakdown as a college freshman - The Truman Show Delusion

15:08 Psychiatrist ICU and outpatient services from induced psychosis

17:50 Amanda’s daily regimen to maintain her mental health

22:40 Behind the scenes in mental health organizations

24:00 Amanda’s reprise of The Truman Show Delusion and how her parents handled it

26:37 The danger of cops responding to mental health crises, and the hope of the new 988 lifeline

28:50 The importance of compassion and curiosity in responding to psychiatric emergencies

31:50 Advice for how to be supportive to your loved one struggling with mental illness

33:46 How Amanda’s sexual identity intersected with her mental health

35:50 Seek out access points for professional help before a crisis occurs

36:43 Befriending all parts of ourselves with grace, and lean on community

In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Doris Blumenthal, an adopted person who lives in Northern California. Her adoption story is one of the adoptee narratives in the documentary Reckoning with the Primal Wound, which you’ve probably heard me talking about before. The filmmaker Rebecca Autumn Sansom was on this podcast in Episode 30. If you haven’t seen Reckoning with the Primal Wound yet, I highly recommend it, and I also want to let you know that this episode contains spoilers.

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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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RESOURCES:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

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Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

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TIME STAMPS:

2:00 Doris’ adoption story, crossing paths with birth mother in the early days

6:40 The overwhelming need to know one’s biological roots

9:16 Doris’ adoptive parents’ attitude about adoption

11:54 The mysterious photograph and the broken relationship with Doris’ bio brother

13:35 Complex emotions with Doris’ paternal sisters

14:36 Starting the pre-internet search process

18:50 First attempt at finding birth mother

20:15 How DNA searches help

21:11 A common problem for adopted people: lack of health history

21:56 Minnesota sisters and other maternal relatives

22:54 How Arizona’s open records laws enabled Doris to find her birth mother

25:05 Finding Doris’ birth mother’s home - and SPOILER ALERT if you haven’t seen the Reckoning film yet

28:00 Doris’ brother’s attitude toward Doris, privacy v. right to know

31:35 Another amazing coincidence

33:40 More details about the reunion day

38:45 Did she find the mysterious photograph or any other mementos?

40:35 How Doris handles her complicated grief

43:45 Most adopted people have a deep desire to meet their natural parents

45:05 Doris’ dream of ideal records for adopted people

47:33 Backlash from sharing her story in the Reckoning with the Primal Wound documentary

51:34 Doris’ advice for adopted people who are contemplating reunion, and book recommendation

53:30 Doris’ book recommendation - The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

56:37 Doris’ advice for adoptive parents regarding reunion

In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Bonnie Harris, a New Hampshire-area director of Connective Parenting, where she is a parent educator, counselor, coach, and speaker. She wrote two parenting books:  When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With. AND she has her own podcast Tell Me About Your Kids where anyone can listen in on her parent coaching sessions. Bonnie has a master’s degree in Early Childhood Education And is the proud mother of two adult children raised with her connective approach.

In today’s episode, Bonnie will help us answer the question: HOW CAN WE BE MORE CONNECTED WITH the KIDS in our lives?

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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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RESOURCES:

Bonnie’s information:

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

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Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

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TIME STAMPS:

1:26 How Bonnie parented her own (now grown) children

6:08 How Bonnie developed her connective parenting model by learning about herself

9:25 The Dandelion Child and the Orchid Child

13:00 Bonnie’s own terms: The Harmony Child and The Integrity Child

13:50 Characteristics of The Harmony Child - compliant but harbors shame

16:40 How Connective Parenting focuses on the parents, not the child

22:56 Connecting with your child’s emotional state instead of their behavior

28:17 Connective parenting as an investment for your child’s self-confidence

31:04 Characteristics of The Integrity Child - demanding but knows what they want

36:07 How to turn the parenting ship around

40:26 How did Bonnie’s orchid daughter turn out?

44:10 “My child is having a problem, not being a problem.”

In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with a family friend of hers from church - Katherine Osborne. Katherine shared with the church that she was recently diagnosed with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I thought it might be good for our audience to learn from an eloquent teen how OCD feels. Nowadays people joke that they have OCD when they’re bothered when something doesn’t quite line up, or if one tile is a different color. You see memes about OCD all the time. But that’s a very simplistic view of OCD that doesn’t honor the lived experience of people who struggle with this disorder every day of their lives.

In this episode, Katherine explains her own lived experience of OCD, and she mentions things she’s learned so far. But of course neither of us are OCD experts or healthcare professionals. We recommend getting professional help if you or someone you know might be struggling with OCD or any mental health issues.

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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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Resources about OCD that Katherine recommends:

Other Resources:

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Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

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TIME STAMPS

1:12 Katherine’s hobbies & college activities

2:25 When did Katherine’s OCD symptoms start? (Thank you, COVID.  ☹️)

3:46 How Katherine experiences OCD in cycles - obsessions and compulsions

6:30 What are intrusive thoughts?

8:54 How does Katherine manage her OCD?

10:22 How Katherine was diagnosed with OCD. Did her diagnosis make things better or worse?

14:00 How OCD has affected Katherine’s social life

15:45 How do Katherine’s family and friends support her when she’s having a bad OCD day?

18:11 Is OCD more common for adults and teens? Is it growing?

19:40 Katherine’s advice to parents of teens?

24:13 Can someone pull an OCD sufferer out of an OCD cycle?

27:20 First steps if you’re curious if you might have OCD

In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Catherine Becker, founder of the support group called Joys and Challenges of Relative Caregivers. She’s a grandma who is raising her three  young grandkids while her daughter struggles with addiction. When she tried to find a tribe of other relatives in her same situation, she didn’t find a group that went deep enough or that was small enough to create personal connections. So she made her own group. Her organization is raising money to provide financial assistance to grandparents and other relatives who are caring for or who have adopted their family members’ children.

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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

===============

RESOURCES:

Catherine’s information:

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

Other Resources:

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Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson

Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]

Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube

Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome

www.SafeHomeFamilies.com

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TIME STAMPS

1:26 Catherine’s daughter Katie’s journey with addiction and incarceration

6:07 How Catherine plans to keep her young children away from drugs

8:50 How Catherine gained custody of her children

13:03 The boundaries Catherine has drawn with her daughter while incarcerated

16:45 How Catherine manages her emotions and gets support

19:11 How Catherine avoids feeling resentful toward her daughter

22:13 What kind of support do relative caregivers need?

24:26 Struggles Catherine has with her other adult children

26:40 Katie’s relationship with her kids

29:25 Family preservation, open adoption, and relinquishment trauma

33:23 How common is relative caregiving?

36:44 How can allies help relative caregivers?

41:08 Catherine’s advice for parents with teens

43:33 Katie’s mental health challenges

46:03 Catherine’s advice for relative caregivers