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This is a real love story. Not the kind that skips the hard parts, but the kind that goes through them and comes out the other side more in love than ever.
In this episode, April and Chad sit down with two of their closest friends, Carrie and Chad Welter, who are about to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary. Carrie and Chad Welter take us through the full arc: the easy, adventurous early years as traveling nurses falling in love across cities; the slow erosion of connection that came with becoming parents, working night shifts in a pediatric ICU, and carrying stress neither of them had the tools to process; the resentment, the stonewalling, the seasons where they were two ships passing in the night; and the pivotal moments that finally cracked things open. A sacred night Carrie created almost from desperation. A traumatic event at work that broke Chad Welter wide open. Meditation. Yoga. A cat that turned out to be a barometer for everything wrong in the house. Male friendship. And the slow, unglamorous, completely worth-it work of choosing each other again.
Carrie says she is more in love with her husband now than she has ever been. This episode is about how that becomes possible, and what it costs to get there.
In this interview, you'll learn:
• Why the thing you keep fighting about is almost never the real issue, and what the real issue usually is
• How working in a high-trauma medical environment creates compassion fatigue that quietly destroys intimacy at home
• Why men repeat the exact patterns they resented in their own fathers, and what it takes to finally break that cycle
• What stonewalling does to a relationship over years, and why one partner's courage to confront it is often what saves it
• How a single intentional evening, created as a kind of Hail Mary, can shift the entire trajectory of a marriage
• Why meditation did what years of therapy, projects, and avoidance could not, and how quickly the body responds
• What male friendship and community actually does for a marriage, and why so many men are starving for it without knowing it
• How to recognize when your partner is growing and thriving while you are standing still, and what that fear can motivate
• Why the cocoon stage of a relationship, the messy, unglamorous middle, is where the real transformation actually happens
• What it means to love yourself unconditionally first, and why that is the only foundation real partnership can be built on
• How the marker of a healthy relationship is not the absence of conflict, but whether this person makes you want to become your best self
• What it looks like to fall back in love with someone you almost lost, after 20 years and everything in between
You are allowed to choose yourself. You are allowed to stop playing small. The life you are grieving may be the very thing making room for the one you actually belong in.
With Love and Safety,
Chad & April ❤️
What We Discuss:
0:00 — Carrie's Hail Mary night: showing him who she was becoming
0:16 — Chad Welter on meditation: how it broke him out of fight or flight long enough to be present
0:34 — Welcome to Safe to Love | April introduces Carrie and Chad Welter
2:31 — Where the tension started: a cat, a barometer, and a home full of stress
4:32 — Chad Welter on the shame of knowing he was part of the problem
7:46 — Why owning guilt is often the first real catalyst for change in a man
9:43 — How they met: traveling nurses, Denver snowboards, and a leather jacket
14:06 — Which one of them knew first, and the love notes hidden all over the apartment
17:08 — A surprise pregnancy, a glacier proposal, and a whole body yes
20:00 — New parents, night shifts, and two ships passing in the night
21:54 — When the patterns you watched your father live start showing up in your own marriage
24:17 — The hidden cost of compartmentalizing empathy in a trauma unit
27:13 — Carrie goes back to school, finds herself, and starts demanding different conversations
30:32 — Why one partner's courage to say "this has to change" is often what saves the relationship
32:21 — The broken shutter, the screaming, and the moment Carrie knew she had reached her limit
34:01 — The Hail Mary night: ritual, vulnerability, and the shift that followed
35:23 — A traumatic death at work, Carrie showing up completely, and the start of real tools
37:48 — Meditation, yoga, and the nervous system finally learning how to slow down
38:56 — The cat comes to a head: realizing the animal was never the real issue
41:08 — Chad Welter watches Carrie thrive and realizes he is being left behind
43:20 — Surgery, recovery, male friendship, and the community he didn't know he was missing
47:42 — The after-dinner walk: how getting outside together changed their conversations
49:06 — 20 years, a second honeymoon feeling, and falling in love all over again
52:09 — Relationships have seasons: how to be in the hard one without losing yourself
56:10 — Leaning into the scary parts is what unlocks the joy
57:19 — Why going through it together builds something you cannot find if you start over
1:00:00 — April on the divorce years, the Airbnb, and what this friendship has meant
1:02:45 — Two couples, similar seasons, two very different outcomes: lean into your truth
1:03:35 — Closing advice: keep showing up, have the hard conversations, trust the butterfly
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