HEADLINES: MLS unveils yet another ultra-conservative update to roster rules and EFL has a "heartwarming" welcome home gift waiting for Sheffield Utd

WHAT IF: you had to vote for the Premier League's POY right now... who's getting your vote?

PREMIER LEAGUE: Mitch and Tyler struggle vociferously to accept the new (but not entirely unexpected) reality after Arsenal and Liverpool both stumble at home putting Pep's Petrostars in the driver's seat; plus Nuno grows a brain and plays Gio Reyna and do we have a (Cole Palmer-driven) FA Cupset brewing?

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute; we wax semi-poetic about one of the best week's of Champions League knockouts in recent memory and look ahead to this week's return legs

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: why a Premier League (fresh off deducting two more points from not-Man City) "Luxury Tax" is problematic, more incredible Turkish Super Lig drama and Luis Rubiales is back in the news for more (alleged) bad deeds committed as president of Spain's soccer federation

WHAT IF: you were named all-powerful USL commissioners tomorrow... what changes would you implement to better compete with MLS?

PREMIER LEAGUE: big talking points from United holding Liverpool to a 2-2 draw, coming around on Luton Town and the Tweedles' anxiety levels of about Arsenal facing Villa on Sunday

ROUND THE WORLD: Tommy's take on the Korbin Albert situation and positives from USWNT beating Japan plus preview of this week's Champions League quarterfinals (1st legs)

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: Fenerbahce voting this week on whether to withdraw from Turkish Super Lig in response to postgame attack by Trabzonspor fans plus Korbin Albert finds herself at the center of USWNT drama after some ill-advised social media-ing

POP QUIZ: MLS undefeateds

PREMIER LEAGUE: blame is assigned for the City vs Arsenal shmershmortion and start missing Klopp before he is even gone; plus wildly different vibes after close saves by Tottenham and United; Power Rankings plus weekend preview f/t Liverpool visiting Old Trafford

ROUND THE WORLD: brief observations from MLS, US Open Cup and NWSL plus who is to blame for Bayern Munich's looming capitulation for Bayer Leverkusen

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: IFAB approves further testing of major change to offside rule championed by Arsene Wenger; FIFA quietly loosens restrictions on multi-club ownership groups participating in European competitions and Biden administration backs Relevant Sports' in bid to host official La Liga matches in the US

WHAT IF: an MLS Best XI competed in the Premier League... where would they finish?

ROUND THE WORLD: reaction to USMNT's rollercoaster week featuring dogcrap "win" over Jamaica's B-team followed by domination of LLL Triste's A-team (for what that's worth at the moment); MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute

PREMIER LEAGUE: preview of Sunday's big huge massive City vs Arsenal game

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: Nottingham Forest handed 4-point deduction; what to expect from MLS's midseason roster changes and NWSL valuations are skyrocketing

WHAT IF: Man City is found guilty of all/many of the more serious rule violations... how would it affect Pep's legacy (if at all)?

PREMIER LEAGUE: incredible weekend of FA Cup games featuring United's epic comeback against Liverpool (causing Tyler to say some things I did not see coming) and Coventry City stunning Wolves; plus the real reason that Fulham drank Tottenham's milkshake

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute; LigaMX makes a statement in Concacaf Champions Cup and USMNT vs Jamaica preview including thoughts on Gregg's roster and a debate on our starting striker is

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: Cameroonian age fraud and Lester's painful reward if/when they return to the Premier League

POP QUIZ: League Cup winners

PREMIER LEAGUE: Liverpool vs City postmortem, Gio Reyna panic button, Power Rankings and preview of some quality FA Cup quarterfinals

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute, takeaways from USWNT's successful Gold Cup campaign; USMNT weekend stars and preview of this week's Champions League games

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: USSF announced that eight (of 29) MLS clubs will participate in US Open Cup; FIFA pulls U-turn on blue cards; Paul Pogba's legacy in light of 4-year PED suspension and Quincy Promes makes history as Prison FC's dumbest ever acquisition

WHAT IF: Premier League clubs settled things in the streets and back alleys as hooligans rather than on the field... who are the title favorites?

PREMIER LEAGUE: rare three-team title race taking shape as City and Liverpool finagle wins while Arsenal puts a hurting on Sheffield Utd; how badly did Nottingham Forest get jobbed and weekend preview featuring the big one on Sunday as City visit Anfield

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute; fallout from referee decision to blow final whistle just as Real Madrid was scoring a game-winner versus Valencia; Champions League preview plus thots on where the USWNT stands after shock loss to Mexico followed by solid win over Colombia

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: German fans force Bundesliga owners to backtrack on plans for private equity deal; Everton's unprecedented 5-point weekend and Neymar gets roped into the sad Dani Alves situation

WHAT IF: in honor of Patrick Kane returning to Chicago and beating the Blackhawks with the Detroit Red Wings, what current player on your favorite team would it hurt the most to see play for your archenemy (a la Sol Campbell moving from Tottenham to Arsenal)?

PREMIER LEAGUE: takeaways from (and butthurtedness about) Carabao Cup final; Sam's unfortunate Arsenal epiphany; whether it is too soon to call Gio Reyna's move to Forest a bust and preview of Sunday's Manchester Dærby

ROUND THE WORLD: MLS Hit-It-N-Quit-It Minute is BACK plus some 2024 season predictions and hot takes

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: making sense of MLS and US Soccer's high-profile pissing match over US Open Cup plus the best and worst of MLS's 2024 jerseys

WHAT IF: Matt Turner picks up a blue card in the 80th minute up 2-1 against Brazil in the WC26 final at MetLife... which USMNT field player are you putting in net?

PREMIER LEAGUE: thots on Chelsea holding City; what happens when you play AngeBall without AngeBall players; confusion about United continues and Carabao Cup final preview

ROUND THE WORLD: USMNT striker depth chart; singing Pulisic's praises and LOLing at the downfall of Pulisic hater-in-chief Terrorist Tommy Tuchel

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: pros/cons of FIFA's plan to test blue cards giving players a 10-minute timeout; Duncan McGuire's star-crossed move from Orlando City to Blackburn; China stays butthurt over Messi and US Soccer's decision to grant USL (Women's) Super League D1 status

WHAT IF: USMNT played in AFCON or Asian Cup... Which would we do better in? What would be the bar for success?

PREMIER LEAGUE: West Ham gets COOKED and other weekend observations; definitive midseason Power Rankings and games to watch this weekend f/t City hosting Chelsea

ROUND THE WORLD: Ivory Coast and Qatar earn their flowers and preview of this week's Champions League first leg R16 knockouts

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs