Scale With Heart

In this episode I’m continuing my critique on Atomic Habits and habit-hacking in general. We’ve already talked about some of my issues regarding the way we usually go about building habits, so let’s get a bit more specific here. What is a habit, actually? How do we integrate habits into our routines? What are simple tactics that will help us achieve our goals?

Here’s what I discuss in this episode:

• Many of these habit-hacking formulas don’t even define habits right; they conflate habits with routines.
• It’s unrealistic to expect a conscious act, like vigorous exercise, to become an unconscious habit.
• Because we can’t expect it to be easy, we have to enjoy the process in order to build the routine.
• It has to become the opposite of unconscious; it has to be intentional and mindful.
• First, I figure out how much time I want to devote to a routine per week, and then I schedule it in.
• Second, I declare a WHY: it keeps me going when I don’t feel like doing the thing.
• Lastly, I approach the act consciously, checking in on myself and noticing how my energy feels. 
• If you genuinely don’t like doing something, stop doing it. Return to your why.

Resources from this episode:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Welcome to Season 4 of Dream Plan Action! In this episode I’m giving my hot takes on Atomic Habits and many of the similar habit-building hacks and methods out there. There are a lot of valuable takeaways from the popular book, but I’m not sold all the way on its effectiveness. Especially to those who are feeling lost and overwhelmed, like I was when I was taking all these productivity courses, approaches like Atomic Habits could be misdirecting our energies into the wrong habits that don’t actually help us move the needle, or at worst, trap us in a cycle of our own negativity. So let’s talk about it.

Here’s what I discuss in this episode:

• What I LOVE about the book is the emphasis on the power of slow growth.
• However, no habit-building method actually shows you HOW to select your goals and habits.
• It’s not always healthy to mask the low periods we’re going through with productivity just for the sake of productivity.
• I was imitating a lot of “healthy habits” I saw on Instagram, not necessarily because they were best for me, but because I was comparing my own life to these folks who looked like they had it together.
• This created a cycle of me beating myself up for being “lazy” and “unmotivated”
• In fact, we need to work backwards from the FEELING we want to embody, and choose habits that will create that feeling within us. 
• No one can tell you what health, happiness, or success looks like in your life. You get to define it for yourself.

Resources from this episode:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Additional resources: 

Click here to listen to James Clear’s amazing story on Dare to Lead

Itching to adjust your desk ergonomics after I kept talking about adjusting mine this episode? Click here to watch the video I used to adjust my monitor height and provide neck tension relief! 

On this final episode of Season 3, I welcome Connie Holman, a heart-centered coach and therapist. Intuition may seem like a vague or disembodied concept (it certainly did for me at first), but with the right intentions, it can actually be one of the most effective ways to make decisions in your business and in your personal life. Connie shares her journey with manifestation and how she helps her clients let go of their emotional hurts in order to just start on realizing their dreams.

In this episode we discuss:

• Our journey is not going to look like anyone else’s journey. We have to stop comparing our lowlight reels to other peoples’ highlight reels.
• Feelings are teachers, just like triggers are teachers. Uncomfortable feelings can cause us to shut down, but giving them a space to be explored will teach us something valuable.
• Going through life transitions, career promotions, or any significant changes can bring up old feelings and insecurities. But remember that those insecurities are just reminders that this really matters to you. 
• In order to gain momentum, you have to take actionable steps. Action is a form of self care.
• Your fight or flight response is there to keep you safe. You have to acknowledge it in order to overcome your fears.
• Our bodies are containers for feelings. Movement can be an amazing way to process emotions.
• Always come back to asking yourself if something really aligns for YOU. Don’t dream for anybody else but you.

Connect with Connie:

https://www.connieanneholman.com/

Resources from this episode:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Read the show notes at https://www.nicoleralston.com/podcast

If you dread the math and accounting part of entrepreneurship, this is the episode for you. Today I talk with Gina Knox, who is a financial coach for entrepreneurs. She brings a wealth of knowledge to the table that will benefit you no matter what stage of entrepreneurship you’re at -- especially around tax time. We talk about addressing fears around finance, what you actually need to keep up with your small business bookkeeping, and what numbers you will need for tax season.

I hope this episode gives you the right balance of positivity and useful information to move forward with confidence in your freelance finances. In an area that tends to cause a lot of undue stress for many entrepreneurs, especially at the beginning of their journey, I hope Gina’s knowledge helps to simplify and demystify accounting and save you a lot of time and money in the long run.

In this episode we discuss:

• Get separate bank accounts for your business and personal finances, even if you only have one client!
• Owner’s investments into your business (equity) are not taxable. In the very beginning, keep track of how much you are spending on your business.
• You only need a simple spreadsheet, which is free, to keep track of your business finances, especially if you have only a few transactions per month.
• This spreadsheet needs to track how much money you brought in, how much money went out, and what tax category your expenses fell under.
• Choose a cadence that works for you (daily, weekly, monthly, or quarterly) to sit down and organize your transactions.
• All the government wants to know for tax time is how much money your business made, how much money your business spent, and what category your expenses fell under (on your Schedule C).
• An unofficial rule of thumb is to save your receipts on expenses $75 and above. Hold onto these receipts for up to 7 years in case you are audited by the IRS.

Connect with Gina: https://www.6figuresaver.com/

Resources from this episode:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Read the show notes at https://www.nicoleralston.com/podcast

My guest for today is Rachel Gainer of Rachel Rebuilt and our conversation today is all about personifying the inner critic. Many of us try to categorize it as totally negative and think that we need to ignore that voice in order to overcome it. However, Rachel encourages us to “rewire” the inner critic, exploring new ways to interact with it and more deeply honor your intuition.

Rachel is a life coach for working mothers and emerging entrepreneurs, helping her clients tackle the inner stories that are holding them back from achieving what they want to achieve. She also hosts her own podcast called Life Rebuilt -- check it out in the links below!

In this episode we discuss:

• Turning your inner critic into your “inner ally” can help view that voice as someone who just wants to protect us from failure.
• It can be difficult to distinguish between true intuition and the bad intentions of the inner critic.
• A helpful tactic can be asking yourself: “Does this voice want me to grow or to stay small?”
• Try to visualize the character your inner voice is taking on -- is it the bully, the boss, the spiritual guide?
• If you’re pushing yourself so hard that you’re burning out, that might be a sign to ease up on yourself and reevaluate.
• Find the balance of pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone 10-15% -- this is where you will find the best results, rather than simply working harder all the time.
• Dread comes from an external expectation, whereas fear comes from an internal expectation.

Connect with Rachel:

https://www.rachelrebuilt.com/

https://www.rachelrebuilt.com/podcast

Resources from this episode:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Read the show notes at https://www.nicoleralston.com/podcast

In this episode I welcome Madeleine Onstwedder, a life coach for those who want to make a greater impact in the world, but believe that impact requires a great amount of self-sacrifice. As it turns out, this may not actually be true. We have a nuanced conversation about all things self-care and staying mindful of the present moment, two things that are so easily lost in the daily hustle of entrepreneur life. In fact, long-term success as an entrepreneur may actually require us to rethink our relationship with productivity in general, and disconnect productivity from our internal sense of self-worth.

I hope this episode serves as a reminder to pour into yourself first and foremost so that you can show up as your best self in your work, your family, and any activities you bring your energy to.

In this episode we discuss:

• Prioritizing yourself will allow you to continue to enjoy the work you set out to do, rather than start to resent it.
• Setting clear boundaries that nurture your wellbeing sets a standard for the people around you to do the same.
• Stop treating your to-do list as a reflection of a perfect day -- you will never be able to meet that standard.
• Integrate self-care tasks as part of your regular to-do list.
• Be as minimal as possible with what you actually put on your daily to-do list. Spread things out into the week or the month.
• If you find yourself putting off a specific item over and over, consider putting it off until it feels in more alignment.
• Give yourself small, intentional breaks throughout the day to either move your body or sit and take a few deep breaths.

Connect with Madeleine: https://madeleineonstwedder.com/

Resources from this episode:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Read the show notes at https://www.nicoleralston.com/podcast

If you’re at all like me and you’ve always felt the need to be modest about your accomplishments, Adrienne is going to show you how to harness the magical power of celebration to build habits! Celebration helps cement the small habits and routines that you’re trying to build in your personal and business life. Adrienne is a wellness coach for moms, helping her clients redefine who they are and reclaim the time they need to do so through the implementation of Tiny Habits. She shares her background in yoga as a tool for mental health, becoming a mother, and transitioning into the world of wellness coaching.

Please enjoy this uplifting conversation about habit change and start celebrating yourself even for the tiniest accomplishments!

In this episode we discuss:

• Tiny Habits is the practice of taking your existing routine and making small changes to help you feel better right away.
• Emotions can create habits more strongly than sheer repetition. 
• The smaller the habit is, the less motivation that is needed -- motivation itself is unreliable.
• The Tiny Habits process is taking an existing routine, adding a Tiny Habit onto it, and then celebrating (this part is key!)
• The way you celebrate doesn’t matter so much as long as there’s a feeling of success.
• When designing your Tiny Habits recipes, start by looking at your aspirations and working from there.
• Or, start from your existing routine by writing it down in detail and find places to attach a Tiny Habit that will help you feel the way you want to feel.

Connect with Adrienne:

https://www.instagram.com/adisudarkoff/

Resources mentioned in this episode:

BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits book: https://tinyhabits.com

James Clear’s Atomic Habits book: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

On this episode, I welcome Elissa Kennedy, a business coach for new coaches. Elissa uses somatic work to help her clients get anchored in their vision, so that they can make intentional decisions and avoid getting lost in the “should-dos” and “supposed-tos” of early-stage entrepreneurship. This conversation dives into the spirit of staying present within our work while welcoming in the guidance from our larger vision to help direct our learning, rather than losing ourselves within a goal-driven mindset that keeps us out of our present happiness.

This episode is sure to provide some wisdom to all of you who feel plagued by perpetual business and the endless chasing of business milestones!

In this episode we discuss:

• Embrace each part of the journey rather than only focusing on where you want to be.
• Somatic work is the embodiment of our emotions. The key is becoming aware of the feelings that come up in your body every time you’re going through an emotional decision.
• Tune into what a “yes” feels like in your body and what a “no” feels like as well.
• We’re taught to think through our problems rather than feel through them. Becoming aware of our own emotions is a slow, intentional process.
• If you try to put yourself in a thousand different places, you’ll end up not getting very far in any one place. 
• It’s not a failure if you experimented with a platform and it didn’t work for you.
• Creating moments throughout the day for mindfulness, meditation, or deep breaths, are very important. 

Connect with Elissa:

https://www.elissakennedy.com/

Other resources:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Whether you consider yourself an “artist” or not, any entrepreneur can take something away from today’s conversation with floral painter Julie Marriott. We discuss her journey from art school, to art teaching, to entrepreneurship. Julie shares valuable pieces of advice from overcoming perfectionism to determining your value through pricing. There is so much joy apparent in her work, and I'm grateful to capture some of that joy in this episode.

Be sure to check out Julie’s paintings in the links below -- I hope this episode inspires you to be bold in your business and lean into your own creativity!

In this episode we discuss:

• It can be too easy to pick apart the details of your work, but this can prevent you from moving smoothly through and finishing, so be careful about indulging your meticulous side!
• Slow down, loosen up, relax, and LET GO.
• Try not to be emotionally invested in the outcome in any individual piece. Reflect on what went well and what went wrong, and then move on to the next.
• Dabble in different things until you hone in on the one thing that excites you the most and will make you money.
• Be incredibly intentional with your time so that you can be present in the most important areas.
• If the thing that is making you money doesn’t also fulfill you creatively, it’s time to re-evaluate.
• Whatever it is that you do, don’t let it overwhelm the other parts of your life -- your free time and personal time are just as important.

Connect with Julie:

https://juliemarriottart.com/

https://www.instagram.com/juliemarriottart/

Other resources:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/

Thank you to Rhonda Khan of the Catalyst Academy, the public speaking incubator for socially-driven Women of Color, for kicking off Season 3 with this amazing interview! We talk about her background in speech therapy, theater, motherhood, and finally, entrepreneurship. Rhonda is passionate about helping her clients develop their confidence in public speaking, and helping them make the most impact through meaningful communication, either on stage or virtually. Whether or not it is your goal to become a public speaker yourself, you’re sure to take away some gems from this conversation about becoming a thought leader and developing trust with your audience.

In this episode we discuss:

• You will lose it trying to figure out the “right” next step. Just take the next step and dive in.
• Pay attention to your inner voice that lets you know what is in alignment or not.
• You must start by owning who you are if you want to improve your public speaking. Mimicking other speakers is not sustainable.
• Once you figure out what your unique strengths are, you then can determine how you will serve your audience.
• Authenticity doesn’t require you to share private information -- it is you standing in the truth of exactly where you are in that moment.
• Confidence is a muscle that we learn to activate, and it doesn’t happen without fear and wanting to quit.
• It’s not your job to change everybody’s mind in an audience, especially when you feel marginalized. It’s only your job to share your truth and make your voice heard in that moment.

Connect with Rhonda:

https://www.simplyspeechsolutions.com/thecatalystacademy

Other resources:

Be sure to grab my free guide on crafting your mission statement! 

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/nicole-ralston/30-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleralston_/