Scandalous Diamonds

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 33-38 of Hollywood Wives (the big party episode!), where they marvel at the longest threesome ever, laugh at Bachelorette parties where they have penis-themed everything and wonder what rich people do with a winter study in their mansion.

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Jennifer and Dana welcome special guest Allison Baker, who regales listeners with tales of taxidermied pole-dancing animals, driving in Europe in a huge vehicle and tiger parenting. The girls laugh about airport jail, try to sell Allison on their latest MLM scheme, and return to their respective homes to cook naked and clean like the Canadians.

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Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 25-28 of Hollywood Wives, reflect on their time living together for the past few months and determine that going No. 2 in front of anyone should be completely off-limits. The girls marvel at the phenomenon of "Competitive Endurance Tickling." They get their colors done and Dana laments that she has been wearing the wrong colors for 39 years while Jen is spot on with her all-black wardrobe.

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Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 21-24, while Dana schools everyone on how to use a quartz stone to balance your whole life, Jennifer recalls a wacky day at a gynecologist's office in Tokyo and they marvel at one of the book character's plastic surgery history, including a "Tit Renovation" and "Snatch Tightening."

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Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 17-20 and Dana recounts a recent trip to Santa Fe, NM with her mom and none other than Knox Jernigan. Jen wants Dana to go to a scary heavy metal concert where they set things on fire, Dana sets some boundaries around said concert, and they both agree that interpretive dance is bullshit. Listeners will hear about the first threesome of the Hollywood Wives journey, and a waterbed makes a surprise appearance.

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Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 13-16 and Dana recounts her Las Vegas Shit Show. The girls go to a Sebastian Bach and a Willie Nelson concert in the same weekend, proving that they are the "Middle-Aged Gone Wild." They laugh about funny room service stories and Dana wearing white after Labor Day.

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Jennifer and Dana discuss their insane trip to Austin together and the weird things about Texas, including the incredibly unflattering Rockies Jeans. Topics also include playing dress up, butt lift surgeries using Fix-a-Flat, and the consensus that that white tights look awful... on everyone... always.

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Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 5-8 and and reminisce about Gilligan's Island, decide that Nude is Rude, play Scandalous Trivia: Hollywood Edition and plan a bra shopping trip that ends with eating chocolate cake.

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Jennifer and Dana experience a wild and crazy start to Jackie Collins' acclaimed novel, Hollywood Wives. Helen Ellis, author and friend of the Podcast, reads the prologue that she wrote for this incredible book. Jennifer and Dana get excited that it's now spooky season where layering is necessary and witchcraft is acceptable, lament the difficulty of finding a good pair of jeans, and marvel at the mathletic and amazing Grace Hopper.

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Jennifer and Dana interview best-selling author Helen Ellis and discuss moving from small town Deep South to NYC, "The Land of Rye." Helen talks about overcoming self-perceived writing failure and getting back in the game. The moral of the story is that it is extremely fun to do the unexpected and just be a grown-ass lady in your "F***-It 50's!"

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