Searching Inward

In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram wrap up their series on the journey of transformation by talking about WOOP it, an acronym that helps us turn our wishes and dreams into a concrete plan. They discuss what keeps us motivated, where motivation comes from and what are some of the factors that shape intrinsic motivation in our lives.

“Having a goal without a plan is just wishes, so how do we move from wishes and dreams into a concrete plan or process that I can implement on a daily basis?” -Scott [04:45]

“This practice is one of the best ways to sum up this book, because it’s basically you use this WOOP practice as a way to co-create a new life for yourself through the process of contemplation and action.” -Seth [17:19]

“And it does a huge comfort to the rest of us to see that you are a fellow traveler. You don’t have it all figured out, because man, how can you trust someone that hasn’t struggled? So we love that you lead by example in all areas and that includes the struggle.” -Anna [25:03]

“I think the message of this whole journey of transformation is that it is a process that we’re always on.” -George [25:44]

  TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[03:30] Willpower vs motivation

[09:28] Positive thoughts won’t transform us

[12:14] The WOOP method

[18:22] What challenges the hosts

[27:08] What is the Enneagram

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall and Anna Bryant talk about getting out of the shadows and into the light. There is only one way there – through vulnerability – so they explore this central question: Do we run from vulnerability? Or do we embrace it?

“But the true relationships I can be honest and vulnerable with, and their input is received as helpful and life-giving and affirming and it gives me life. One gives me life. The other one pulls me down.” -Scott [07:52]

“A much more helpful way that light works is that it just kind of shines the next step, the next place to move towards… Light can be helpful or it can be blinding in a condemning way.” -George [08:57]

“It is so important to remember, yall. Shadows don't exist without bright light. So in order to embrace those things about you that are less than perfect, you also have to reconcile the fact that that means there’s really something bright inside of you casting that shadow.” -Anna [13:49]

  TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[00:48] The voice of condemnation

[03:01] How shadow and light play out in life

[09:14] Believing we are enough

[12:28] Ego wants to keep us in the shadows

[19:05] How we protect ourselves

[26:03] Where hope breaks in

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall and Anna Bryant talk about finding your North Star, keeping your eyes focused on a goal and not just your obstacles. Scott explains how to access this North Star through cognitive reframing and the tool he’s devised called STAR.

“If we have a North Star and we do get lost and we will get lost, disoriented in a fog of our shames and our struggles, I can get redirected.” -George [04:10]

“When you think about a star, in some way, it’s not just an outward guide, but it’s a light that shines inward, that shines into us in some way that reminds us and shines a bright light into who we authentically are.” -Scott [09:26]

“I think it’s so important to have really clear goals about who we want to be internally, the kind of being that we are, not the kind of doing that we achieve.” -Anna [11:30]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[01:19] What is STAR

[06:14] An exemplary cause

[13:02] The hosts’ North Stars

[15:59] The acronym of STAR

[20:15] Final words from the hosts

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about deliberate practice, a growth mindset that puts in the work when success isn’t on the horizon. As we prepare for something that has yet to arrive, we are doing the work so that when it gets here, we can enjoy it. Listen as we discuss how deliberate practice changes our brains as well as the four hosts are practicing themselves.

“I think when we live with intention, that’s when we’re at our best.” -Scott [05:10]

“We know perfection does not exist, and I think sometimes we put so much pressure to try and to try and to try and to practice so that we are perfect. And I love that no, the goal isn't perfection. The goal is growth. Practice makes progress.” -Anna [07:30]

“Progress is so much more enjoyable when you’re doing it with others.” -George [13:34]

“I can’t just talk about wanting to grow in this massive idea. I have to get specific and deliberate with the areas in which I need to grow and focus my intentionality in that space.” -Seth [14:50]

  TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[00:59] Preparing and doing the work

[02:52] Deliberate practice changes the brain

[06:33] Practice makes progress

[09:17] Creatively and deliberate practice working together

[11:48] Movement propels intrinsic motivation

[13:57] Focus on the area

[17:53] What the hosts are practicing today

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about the secret ingredient to happiness. We explore how we can rethink our purpose outside our work in our pursuit for inner happiness so that we can find a deeper meaning in our lives. We discuss the role fear and shame play into our happiness, but also share what makes each of us happy.

“The end goal is finding meaning, finding purpose. It doesn’t have to be done a specific way or in a specific place.” -Anna [06:22]

“Sometimes I think we come into a point in life where we need to make our own personal meaning because the previously held understanding no longer makes sense for us.” -Seth [08:34]

“We’re not talking about denying fear in our life. In fact, the more that we can hold it and understand it, the more that we can move through it and grow and move towards more creativity that’s bringing greater happiness.” -George [18:40]

“Facing fear to me is one of the greatest challenges to live from a creative life, to keep growing.” -Scott [19:33]

  TIMESTAMPS

[00:56] Intro

[01:35] How to start living fuller and happier lives

[04:23] Finding a deeper meaning

[07:08] Challenge to make new meanings for ourselves

[11:28] The role that fears plays in happiness

[19:05] Shame is a big part of fear

[21:30] What makes us happy?

[30:35] Happiness is what makes you feel alive

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about the freedom to let go, starting with the word – sobriety. Many times, we’re not aware that we’re not emotionally sober. Where do you run or escape to when you don’t want to experience reality during difficult times? To find the freedom to let go, we first need to become aware of where we are so we can get on the path.

“If we don’t know where we are, it’s really hard to get on the path to freedom.” -Scott [02:46]

“We have the constant need to be entertained so that we don’t have to feel, so that we don’t have to think, so that we don’t have to really take a hard look at what’s going on in our inner worlds.” -Anna [04:22]

“It’s hard to really become our more authentic self if we don’t love ourselves.” -George [16:57]

“I think the separate self is unaware thoughts.” -Seth [21:07]

  TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[00:43] Define our sobriety

[05:35] Sobriety is an emotional process

[11:11] Knowing what you need freedom from

[14:57] Are you really free?

[17:30] What sobriety actually looks like

[21:20] True inner freedom

[26:17] Final thoughts

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about managing our expectations. Understanding our expectations or the lack of them can lead us to a lot of conflict with ourselves and our relationships. Listen as the four hosts discuss why understanding what we expect from our lives and others, managing disappointment and facing risks will be helpful for our journey. 

“Here’s what I’m hearing you say, you have to be able to risk disappointment and risk failure to grow in this, right?” -George [08:34]

“Sometimes in our pain, we look and we see and focus in on what hurts, which tends to be something more negative. And in the midst of that, we can tend to overlook what is positive in our life.” -Anna [11:07]

“I really believe that everything that has been a blessing in my life has come through the mistakes I’ve made when I learn how to respond to it in a better way. That’s how I developed wisdom.” -Scott [16:42]

“People are definitely afraid to make mistakes and like I said from my perspective earlier, I think people are also afraid of disappointments too, feeling the disappointment. But I think another way to flip this on its head is to say that people are afraid of growing, because that includes resilience.” -Seth [17:42]

  TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[01:12] Why managing expectations is important

[04:59] Managing disappointment

[09:08] Open ended expectations

[10:58] Disqualify the positives

[13:59] Facing risks is healthy

[18:59] Rise up and keep rising up

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about kenosis, which means to let go. This act of making room by letting go of something tired and empty starts with the hope of change. If we’re still clinging to other attachments, how can we ever be free for something new and better to come in? Listen as we discuss how to give yourself grace and the space to pause to start the process of kenosis.

“I just think that part of this is like if we don’t pause and make space to have a different option than the regular paradigm, then we can’t really expect ourselves to make any changes than our normal response.” -Seth [10:38]

“That’s why I think we need grace. Grace is the most powerful force here where it helps me become aware in a very loving way.” -Scott [15:25]

“Our paradigm sometimes of a growth mindset would be that we have to try harder, right? We have to put in more effort. We have to strive more, which is the actual opposite of what this kenosis process is. It’s opening up. It’s letting go. It’s trying softer. It’s not trying harder.” -Anna [17:10]

“The ultimate letting go is falling into this mystery of love at the center of the human experience and reality.” -George [28:17]

  TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[00:34] The meaning of kenosis

[05:15] Changing fixed mindsets

[09:25] Revisiting our narratives

[13:56] Kenosis sets up the process

[21:22] Anxiety reveals where the trust is

[24:17] Preempted work to let go

[26:12] Final words to ponder

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about finding hope in the midst of suffering through the story of Etty Hillesum, a Dutch Jewish writer who died at Auschwitz in 1943. The four hosts discuss how to create space for joy and hope when we’re surrounded by confining things.

“So she found freedom from within, although outwardly, she was surrounded by barbed wire.” -George [03:56]

“Only you have agency and authority over what thoughts you think and the feelings that you feel, and you can choose what to think and believe and feel.” -Anna [12:17]

“Within suffering, there’s always an obstacle or an invitation.” -Seth [24:08]

“From stimulus to response, we have this ability, this power of freedom, to make our choice.” -Scott [25:21]

 TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[01:03] A story about a woman named Etty

[06:13] A new paradigm to exist in something we can't change

[09:03] How to move out of the paradigm

[13:47] Hope does not put us to shame

[18:01] Suffering to hope

[25:07] Possibility for every human

[28:23] Existence is not living

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram start the new year by talking about the idealized self – an inflated ego that flatters us with unmatched beauty, power, intelligence, fame, etc – which makes us arrogant and addicted to outside affirmations and recognition. They share how a healthy sense of self helps free us from this and why it’s important not to conflate our roles with our identities.

“The idealized self image is actually holding us back from that kind of change that happens within. It’s because we’re just pursuing affirmations on the outside and not really changing inwardly.” -George [04:38]

“My whole self worth is not grounded and rooted in how I perform at this one task in this one relationship. I am so much more than that.” -Anna [09:17]

“It sounds like when you conflate the role and identity together, you don’t have the capacity for making boundaries.” -Seth [11:39]

“For me being really transparent, what has been the most motivational, influential force in my life has been shame.” -Scott [17:08]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[01:38] A vicious cycle

[04:30] An idealized self image as a mother

[10:44] Role vs identity

[12:51] A healthy sense of self

[16:39] The underbelly of shame

[23:20] The rejection of myself

[26:51] The hands of unconditional love

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Instagram: @restoresmallgroups

YouTube: Searching Inward Podcast

Website: restoresmallgroups.org