Searching Inward

To celebrate the New Year, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram give the gift of laughter in this special bonus episode of the Searching Inward Podcast. Enjoy this compilation of outtakes!

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[00:58] A complication of outtakes

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about toxic shame as an identity. Shame can take control by creating a false self, which demands a cover up. This is a significant topic to listen to as we discuss how powerful the false self can be detrimental to our mental, physical and emotional well-being.

“I think this is one of the most significant topics for our listeners. It’s just how powerful the allure is of the false self and just how detrimental that is to our mental and physical and our emotional well-being.” -Scott [05:25]

“I have learned to live out of the false self and I’ve been doing that for nearly 50 years. And I can say like I am utterly exhausted. I cannot continue to pour out of an empty cup, and to have needs is to be human. So learning to embrace that giving and giving and giving is not a virtue.” -Anna [18:36]

“That shame, that toxic shame was so heavy, I was almost ready and willing to just walk off the stage and never come back on. And I just remember I had to make a conscious choice. Like this is not who I am. I made a mistake, but I am not this mistake.” -Seth [24:19]

“But I just remember the shame I felt that day, and it lingered. And you would think, people were just going ‘Oh gosh, you made a mistake, George. It’s ok.’ But how deep that can go to our identity.” -George [26:32]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[01:00] Toxic shame as identity

[05:55] The false self and social media

[12:08] Shame is dualistic

[15:37] What it looks like to live it out

[24:51] Places of vulnerability

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Merry Christmas from the Searching Inward Podcast! George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram celebrate and reflect the holiday season in this special bonus episode.

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[00:52] The Christmas song in Scott’s heart

[02:12] A quick word on this Christmas Day

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about letting go of your attachments. Sometimes we can get trapped by an idea or hang on to things that are detrimental to our souls. We discuss why our desires get captured and how letting go is a process, even if it’s difficult.

“Letting go is a process that some of us may be involved in for the rest of our lives, but there can be freedom.” -Scott [05:10]

“What we have seen in group and what we see over and over again is like it is the unimpressiveness, it is the failures and shortcomings and the limitations and humanity that we witness in one another that really does draw people to each other.” -Anna [13:47]

“To really free ourselves, you guys, we really do need the help of other people.” -George [21:03]

“I think in my mind, this is what healing is: being able to receive love for all of our parts, whether they feel acceptable or not, and I think this is why we have to be vulnerable.” -Seth [28:51]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[00:26] Why is letting go so difficult?

[03:31] What is an attachment

[07:58] Letting go of an attachment

[12:52] Examples of false attachments

[17:13] Community to help us free ourselves

[25:12] We must feel secure in God’s love

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about beliefs and expectations and their impact on our brains. Using the placebo effect as our example, we discuss how beliefs and expectations create hope. We may not always have a choice in our circumstances, but we always have a choice with our response to these circumstances, which is crucial to maintain a hopeful mindset. We share how broadening our understanding of choice is helpful in moving us forward.

“We may not have a choice in what our circumstances are, but we undoubtedly  always have a choice in how we choose to respond to the circumstances we find ourselves in.” -Anna [01:28]

“The quantity of the time I have is not what I have any control over really, but the quality of the time, I do have the ability to respond to.” -Scott [13:10]

“I'll be clear, sometimes it’s really important to have a no, right? There are areas that we close ourselves off to in allowing ourselves to grow in. Those are the areas in which you want to challenge and disconfirm that previous no, because there is potential. There’s other potential.” -Seth [17:50]

“So in a sense, we’re being invited to say yes to the waiting with the expectation and belief that something’s good is coming up.” -George [24:02]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[01:14] We always have a choice

[05:37] Hope and choice are connected

[09:52] Provisional existence

[14:40] Is there a no in your heart?

[22:04] Heading to Advent season

[24:41] Can I wait and believe?

[27:54] Final words from the hosts

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about destination postcards, which are vivid pictures from the near future that show us what’s possible. We must envision what we want to become, so we discuss the role hope plays into this and why we must do something in the present to allow us to participate in the future of God.

“But I do know this, George. It takes effort to work from vision.” -Scott [03:33]

“I was just thinking like being able to expand our window of tolerance, being able to process our pain, helps us to maybe to circumvent that self-sabotage cycle.” -Anna [12:45]

“I would imagine gripping so tightly does not lead to any kind of serenity that is helpful at all in getting through, but open handed trust is what we’re aiming at.” -George [23:45]

“I’m just reminded that we’ve all been conditioned in the process of growing up to react in a patterned habitual way, and unless we work with that patterning, we’re not going to start showing up in the world in a different way. It doesn’t just happen. We have to work with that.” -Seth [25:52]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro

[01:01] Hope and vision are intertwined

[04:28] Visualization for cultivating resilience

[10:22] What some resistance might be

[17:16] Anticipation vs expectation

[23:56] Final words and takeaways

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about small wins. A small win can make all the difference in how we feel and perform, and they discuss why focusing on progress, rather than perfection, is so important. They also share how setbacks are part of the process and how to overcome them.

“Just remembering that continued efforts, steady consistent effort over time, is what brings about the change that we’re looking for.” -Anna [04:42]

“I think progress isn’t only making the right choice every day to do this, to wake up again and go for it, but it’s also realizing that it includes also my attitude towards the mistakes that are going to be made along the way. That’s also progress.” -Seth [06:23]

“How we put up our sails is really how we respond to the storms or the wind around us and how that helps us go forward.” -George [20:44]

“I can’t control circumstances, but I can control how I respond to my circumstances.” -Scott [23:13]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:04] Intro

[00:33] Focusing on progress, not perfection

[02:54] Begin on a personal level

[04:51] Progress of change over time

[09:49] The Progress Principle

[14:21] Overcoming setbacks

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We are so grateful for you! We are taking a much needed break! We'll see you here next week with a full episode!

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram talk about nostalgia and its healing properties. Looking back on your life can either bring rich memories or a longing to go back and do things differently, sometimes both. We discuss how nostalgia can motivate us and how to use it to propel us to move forward.

“I think sometimes when we think about nostalgia,... we look back at it, maybe at a time when  we were particularly connected and happy and feeling secure in those connections. And I think that too contributes to the feelings of nostalgia, especially when relationships change through either just time, distance, lost, development.” -Anna [12:23]

“If nostalgia is looking back while looking forward, then the other question is how do we want our stories to end?” -George [13:54]

“I think the nostalgia actually helps us in so many ways. It gives me a positive memory and I’m sad that it’s gone, but the strength of it is that it brings a positive memory and I have the ability to make those memories new now and I move forward.” -Scott [19:58]

“I think it’s just, for one, a good thing to keep in mind – Whenever there's a rumination of thought, it means something needs felt.” -Seth [23:26]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:01] Intro

[00:34] Looking back to move forward

[05:26] How the hosts experience nostalgia

[16:26] How nostalgia motivates us

[20:50] Can you avoid nostalgia?

[24:48] Use our paths to move us forward

[26:33] Groups for the upcoming year

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In this episode of the Searching Inward Podcast, George Stull, Scott Reall, Anna Bryant and Seth Abram discuss the bad days and negativity bias. All of us have bad days, but it can get really bad if we don’t get help. Without it, the negativity bias we hold about ourselves can make us addicted to safety and focused on averting obvious danger that keeps us from growing. Listen as we share how to get out of this negativity bias and come back to ourselves.

“I think we need to hear that when we do something that is meaningful or mattering or bringing good in the world to be intentional in people in our realm to call that out and to speak life into people, really.” -Anna [14:28]

“I think part of why this stuff can be so difficult is we all want to be seen but it’s really difficult to be seen too.” -Seth [14:45]

“The negative bias and the messages and the narrative and ultimately the paradigm is so deeply entrenched in us that we’re going to set ourselves up for failure if we think that I’m not still going to struggle with these things.” -Scott [17:30]

“Affirmation is not denying the struggle. It’s acknowledging and taking the risk to share that to ourselves and with others.” -George [24:47]

TIMESTAMPS

[00:05] Intro 

[01:07] How to get out of negativity bias

[04:33] Coming back to yourself

[10:24] What we heard growing up

[15:58] Perseverance and resistance

[25:12] The Nine-Enders

[30:29] Final thoughts

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Instagram: @restoresmallgroups

YouTube: Searching Inward Podcast

Website: restoresmallgroups.org