Second Adolescence

This week's guest is DIY queer creator Becky Blanco (she/her) aka @becky.with.the.good.repair. On this episode, Becky shares about her experience growing up in Miami, FL to Cuban immigrant parents and within the Southern Baptist church. She shares about being a child that didn’t fit into the limited box of what she was told being a girl was, how her devotion to her faith became a place of both identity validation as well as a place where she internalized homophobic belief structures, and the conflict she faced when in college she became more and more interested in women. She goes on to share about coming out at 30 and how her Second Adolescence was jumpstarted by finding a community of other queer people that became a source of information, guidance, and support, and how her relationship with her now wife has been a place of so much healing.

About the guest:
Becky (she/her) is a queer latina DIYer fixing up her first home as a newlywed. You can follow the journey on Instagram at @becky.with.the.good.repair

For more from the show, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Download episode transcript here.

This week's guest is age activist Ryan ‘twinkle’ Backer (they/them). Ryan talks with Adam about a range of topics including the power of nicknames, their experience being a little kid uncertain of their gender, navigating identity exploration in first adolescence with a parent going through their own Second Adolescence, the importance of queer elders, and so much more!

About the guest:
Ryan ‘twinkle’ Backer is an age activist striving to undo ageism within an intersectional context. Ryan identifies as a white, non-binary, queer, sober, European-American, poet, anarchist, witch and ‘old person in training’ with an undergraduate degree in Gerontology. They are a co-creator of OldSchool.info, a clearinghouse of anti-ageism resources.

Learn more about the show at www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Download the episode transcript here.

This week's guest is snowboarder and filmmaker Jack Hessler (he/him). In the episode, Jack talks about what it was like to put out into the world the recent article he wrote for OutSports.com about his experience navigating being gay within the sport of snowboarding. Jack then goes more in depth into what it was like for him growing up and trying to figure out his sexuality while also competing in the heteronormative, hyper masculine sport of snowboarding, and what his journey was in coming out and beginning to pursue dating and relationships for the first time. Jack and Adam chat everything from snowboarding to using other identities in adolescence to overcompensate for internalized shame to having an adult queer prom and much more!

About the guest:
Jack Hessler fell in love with skateboarding and snowboarding as a child. During his teenage years, he struggled to manage his budding queerness with his passion for action sports. While never fully leaving action sports behind, he began to pursue a career as a filmmaker, with the goal of telling stories that can inspire empathy, self-actualization, and an appreciation for the unique aspects that make us all individuals. 

Learn more about him at jackhessler.com
Learn more about his film work at wzrdmedia.com
And you can follow him on Instagram at  @jah_he

For more on Second Adolescence, visit: secondadolescencepod.com or follow the show on Instagram at @secondadolescencepod

Download episode transcript here.

This week's guest is Jon Carl Lewis (he/him), who is a spiritual director and writer focusing on the intersection between spirituality and sexuality for queer folks. Lewis shares about his childhood and adolescence, and what it was like for him to discover his gay identity and then later come out amidst the AIDS pandemic of the 1980's. He goes on to share about how his Second Adolescence involved completing developmental tasks missed out on from his first adolescence, and how maintaining and redefining a relationship with Christianity that invites more space for queerness has been integral to his path and to the work he now does in the world.

About the guest:
Jon Carl Lewis (he/him) is a 56-year-old, Gay Christian living with his husband of 26 years in Trenton, NJ. A lifelong Christian and undeniably gay—he has wrestled for over forty years with the question of integrating his sexuality and spirituality. Although raised in the Black church, a flirtation with fundamentalism landed him in conversion therapy—which didn’t work. Deciding to choose life rather than the living death fundamentalism prescribed, he joined the Episcopal Church, where he worshiped for almost 30 years. After a period of deconstruction, he reconstructed his approach to Christianity from a more contemplative perspective and became a spiritual director. He now worships in a radically inclusive and LGBTQ-celebrating Methodist congregation where he has been asked to preach.  He is a graduate of Princeton University and has been trained to think theologically and biblically at Princeton Theological Seminary, Harvard Divinity School, and the General Theological Seminary of the Episcopal Church. In October 2020,  he launched the Sex & the Gay Christian website (at sexgaychristian.com) as a place to provide resources and gather community to support Queer men seeking to live integrated sexual lives. He is currently working on a book on the topic of Sex & the Queer Christian, which is expected to be released in 2023.

For show notes and more, visit secondadolescencepod.com.

Download episode transcript here.

This week’s episode features a conversation with Davey Feder (he/him). Davey shares about his own experience of growing up being unconscious to his romantic and sexual identity in adolescence and how he utilized perfectionism as a tool for gaining  and maintaining value and safety. He shares about how an impactful time studying abroad in college ignited something he was not aware of before, and how his Second Adolescence became about learning how to develop the romantic and sexual parts of himself that were dormant in adolescence and learn how to integrate these parts into his greater self-concept. What. A. Conversation!

About the Guest:
Davey Feder (he/him) is a cis, white, gay man in his 30s living in San Francisco. He works as a Creative Producer in the themed entertainment industry.

Learn more about the show at www.secondadolescencepod.com.

Download episode transcript here.

This week's episode features a conversation with Sarah Meyer Tapia (she/her). We hear Sarah share about growing up within the True Love Waits and Purity Culture worlds and how this upbringing came into opposition with what she would later discover felt most true and authentic for her. Sarah goes on to talk about her own Second Adolescence involving the expansion of her experience of sexual and relational identity in her 30s, and how discovering consensual non-monogamy has enlivened her as an individual as well her relationships.

About the Guest:
Sarah Meyer Tapia is Associate Director of Health & Human Performance and Head of Wellness Education at Stanford University. Through her own business, she teaches workshops and coaches people through stress, transitions, meaningful behavior change, self-compassion, and personal development. Sarah has been on her own journey of exploring an authentic life as a queer woman, having come out in her thirties. Life keeps getting more beautiful. Learn more about Sarah at www.sarahmeyertapia.com.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com

Download episode transcript here. 

Welcome to Second Adolescence! 

This first episode begins with host Adam James Cohen, LMFT sharing the backstory behind Second Adolescence. Then, we hear the first guest's story! Ish Ruiz (he/him) talks with Adam and shares about his experience growing up in Puerto Rico and within the Catholic Church, and what it was like for him within both cultural contexts after discovering his gay identity in adolescence. We’ll hear Ish share about his experience discovering his identity, his first relationship, a forced coming out, and how his Second Adolescence involved a process of deconstructing and reconstructing his beliefs systems around his sexuality, his faith, and his Puerto Rican culture. 

About the guest:

Ish Ruiz (he/him) is a gay, cisgender, Puerto Rican, Catholic man in his 30's. He is an educator of youth as well as a consultant for individuals, groups, and organizations seeking support in developing an LGBTQ+ inclusive experience of Catholicism. He is the author of LGBTQ+ Eductators in Catholic Schools which you can purchase here.

Visit www.secondadolescencepod.com for more.

Download episode transcript here. 

Launching January 2022! Host Adam James Cohen, LMFT shares about what Second Adolescence is and what this show is all about.