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Secrecy vs Privacy
Most of us know that if you used a third party to help you build your family, or if you are adopting, it is essential to share this with your child. We also know that "early and often" works best for the children and the parents. Talking to your child early and often helps your child integrate their sense of who they are from the beginning. It has also been shown to help children have better relationships with their parents and to have a positive impact on their teen years.
When we practice things, we get better, and sharing with your child how you built your family can feel uncomfortable or even awkward at best. Practicing your narrative, trying on different versions of your story and getting to a place where you can craft a narrative that feels like it suits your family is an important process. Practicing that story will help you get the kinks out and help your child feel more comfortable with their story as well. By the time it becomes natural for you to tell it, your child will begin to hear the story, or even just pick up words or phrases and those words will feel natural. This in turn can help your child feel like their story is a good story, and their story is simply the way you created your family.
So, what about telling others your story? The nosy aunt for example? The neighbors who stare at you and your child back and forth, looking for some resemblance as you ride the elevator each morning? What about the PTA president or the soccer coach who makes comments about your child having inherited your genetics? These are all situations that are unique to each family. they are also unique to each person, which means a difference of opinion can cause conflict. As you will hear in this week's episode, it can also cause issues that are tough to unwind.
So why not practice your story? Practicing this with your partner, if you have one, or a trusted friend can help you anticipate, and possibly prevent difficulties down the road.
If you are interested in any of the topics discussed in this episode...
Subscribe to the YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@thecenterforfamilybuilding
You can also find me and lots of great resources at https://familybuilding.net/
Join our community, We would love to have you. https://familybuilding.net/newsletter-sign-up/
Author: Building Your Family; The Complete Guide to Donor Conception https://read.macmillan.com/lp/building-your-family/
Follow me here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecenterforfamilybuilding/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecenterforfamilybuilding/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FamilyBuild
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familybuildingcenter
Looking for My Lifebook? https://a.co/d/deSACrM
View all episodes
By Lisa Schuman
5
1313 ratings
Most of us know that if you used a third party to help you build your family, or if you are adopting, it is essential to share this with your child. We also know that "early and often" works best for the children and the parents. Talking to your child early and often helps your child integrate their sense of who they are from the beginning. It has also been shown to help children have better relationships with their parents and to have a positive impact on their teen years.
When we practice things, we get better, and sharing with your child how you built your family can feel uncomfortable or even awkward at best. Practicing your narrative, trying on different versions of your story and getting to a place where you can craft a narrative that feels like it suits your family is an important process. Practicing that story will help you get the kinks out and help your child feel more comfortable with their story as well. By the time it becomes natural for you to tell it, your child will begin to hear the story, or even just pick up words or phrases and those words will feel natural. This in turn can help your child feel like their story is a good story, and their story is simply the way you created your family.
So, what about telling others your story? The nosy aunt for example? The neighbors who stare at you and your child back and forth, looking for some resemblance as you ride the elevator each morning? What about the PTA president or the soccer coach who makes comments about your child having inherited your genetics? These are all situations that are unique to each family. they are also unique to each person, which means a difference of opinion can cause conflict. As you will hear in this week's episode, it can also cause issues that are tough to unwind.
So why not practice your story? Practicing this with your partner, if you have one, or a trusted friend can help you anticipate, and possibly prevent difficulties down the road.
If you are interested in any of the topics discussed in this episode...
Subscribe to the YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@thecenterforfamilybuilding
You can also find me and lots of great resources at https://familybuilding.net/
Join our community, We would love to have you. https://familybuilding.net/newsletter-sign-up/
Author: Building Your Family; The Complete Guide to Donor Conception https://read.macmillan.com/lp/building-your-family/
Follow me here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecenterforfamilybuilding/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecenterforfamilybuilding/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FamilyBuild
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@familybuildingcenter
Looking for My Lifebook? https://a.co/d/deSACrM
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