Secret Habit: Porn Recovery for Christian Men

Your longings are the compass of your heart, start focusing on the these and you will go in the right direction

In this episode, Shawn will discuss:

- How to effectively say NO to porn (not by willpower)

- Why just saying no to porn doesn't work + what actually works

- Getting to the real heart issue behind your addiction to porn

- Healing trauma and resolving your wounds

- Clear steps to recovery from porn in an effective manner

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠

Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

Last week I was working 1:1 with a client to help him pinpoint some wounds from his past.

The challenge?
He didn’t know what happened to cause the wounds.

He knew something was there — he has struggles today to prove it — but he just couldn’t pinpoint what happened.

And honestly?
I see this all the time.

Guys want to really dial in the trauma story. It makes sense… we want clarity. But let me remind you —

👉 It’s not totally necessary.

The focus of healing isn’t about perfectly remembering what happened. It’s about recognizing what still lives inside you.

• The emotions you felt that never got processed (the ones you still wrestle with)

• The thoughts you had that never got shared (the ones you still carry)

• The needs you had that never got met (the ones you still seek to fill in unhealthy ways)

When you focus here, you may discover the full story — or maybe not.
Either way, you’re working directly with the part of trauma that can actually heal.

If you can name those 3 things — emotion, thought, and need — you now have real clarity on what you’re up against.

Then comes the good part: learning how to work through X emotion, Y thought, and Z longing.

That’s my super simple approach to recovery — and I love seeing how it changes men’s lives, time and time again. 💪

This episode is all about unpacking this idea and helping you make recovery simple!

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

If you’re not ready for that step yet, you can start with my free Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide:👉 ⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠

And if you want to learn more about me and the work I do, you can head here:👉 ⁠shawnbonneteau.com⁠

Suppressing emotions is at the heart of what drives people to escape reality - we call this fantasy...

What if you could face reality with your Saviour? What if you had a grasp on your internal battles and let God fight for you?

One of the greatest weapons against suppression is journalling. And one of the greatest weapons against distance from God is a heart that wants to be known

This episode was inspired by a group call Shawn did where he had 15 men write their own psalm of lament...

4 Steps to writing a psalm:

- Questioning

- Complaint

- Petition for Help

- Statement of Confidence

To learn more about Shawns porn recovery coaching, hop on this free MasterClass

Helena was also moved by journalling in her journey. As a mom, a betrayed partner, one who went through pain and loss, this method of therapy was HUGE for her.

In this episode, you'll learn about

- How journalling helped us quit addiction, grow closer and move into new season

- How to read the psalms

- Vulnerability and trust

- Why men are desperate for expression and safety

If you're looking to get free from porn, its not a secret how to do that in the next 90 days. We have a very clear system and our new Inner Circle Brotherhood is only $2 a day

Join Inner Circle

The Czech Republic has some staggering challenges when it comes to sexuality. Stats show us that they are top in the world in porn creation, sex trafficking, and some other difficult things to make sense of...

I brought Pete Lupton on the show today to talk about his incredible mission to help a country start to understand that porn at the very least can be a problem

Pete also shares about his journey of recovery, going through 10 years of what doesnt work so he could finally find what does work. Now he spends all of his time making sure more people learn the truth and develop the tools that really work to say no to porn and get sober from sexual struggles.

While listening, you may feel a nudge to get some help and a part of the solution to this problem rather than continue to give into the problem... if so

Check out secrethabit.ca to get connected to Shawn and his coaching with the DeepClean Program

Topics we cover in this episode:

- Passion behind a mission to change the narrative behind pornography

- What does not work in recovery

- What does work in recovery

- Hope for whats available in Jesus

- Czechs views of porn, sex and religion

- Vision for the Czech Republic

- What God is doing through NePornu and how everybody can help

To get connected to Pete and NePornu, here are 3 ways to do so

Instagram: https://instagram.com/info_npcz

Website: https://nepornu.cz/

Donate (different ways per country below):

-https://nepornu.cz/podpor-projekt-financne/

- https://www.jaron.org/ministry-team/pete-lupton/

- https://www.darujme.cz/projekt/1202617?locale=en

Helena and Shawn open up about their journeys from sexual shame and the weight of regret, to working as a team and developing a sexual union that is healthy and raw

This journey is one we all have to embark on... learning to be vulnerable, faithful and compassionate, while at the same time, holding a standard and casting vision of what is possible

Shawn quit porn and masturbation in 2017, and overcame Erectile Dysfunction in 2020

- To work with Shawn and his proven approach to lasting freedom from porn, go to secrethabit.ca

Helena had her own struggles with porn and masturbation before marriage, but her main journey was overcoming betrayal trauma which took 2 years after Shawn quit porn

In this episode, you'll learn about

- The 4 stages we went through to heal wounds and become a team

- The way to effective vulnerability

- How to be safe for the other person

- The deeper realm of trauma and wounds

Looking for MORE?

Work with me 1:1: ⁠⁠Book your free strategy call to learn more about DeepClean Signature ⁠⁠

Our all new Inner Circle program has been FIRE - a place of proven recovery, brotherhood and identity in Christ

Join the ⁠⁠⁠DeepClean Inner Circle⁠⁠ ⁠⁠today!

If you're really on the fence of what to do next, ⁠⁠⁠⁠heres my free 90 day porn survival guide⁠⁠⁠⁠, this can be an awesome starting point if you're not ready to invest $2 per day

MORE resources and info on 1:1 Coaching with Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/

Mind Over Explicit Matter - Dr Trish Leigh's new book is all about the connection between porn addiction and way way we function as humans

In this incredible interview, Dr Trish gets into some of the most practical, simple and profound ways someone can get clean from porn, quit masturbation and overcome erectile dysfunction

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠

Get ready to learn about:

- What really works for people who want to quit porn

- Fear and Anxiety

- Dopamine Determination + Getting Healthy Serotonin and Oxytocin

- Becoming self aware to learn from relapses

- Inner Child Work and Root Healing

- Finding your voice

- Marriage conflict resolution

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Next action steps:

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠

------

Work with Dr Trish or learn more about her resources

https://drtrishleigh.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@DrTrishLeigh

The mother wound is often missed or misunderstood... however, iv found it to be the missing link to most guys wounds that lead them down the road to addictions to sex, porn and masturbation

Why?

Because the mother is at the heart of our safety, nurture, affection and intimacy. She models for us what a women is like and what its like to interact and live around one

When men have a mother wound, they struggle to feel safe, to trust, to risk, to find their voice

I talk about my weekly Trauma Care Workshop on this episode - These workshops have been FIRE in our all new Inner Circle program - a place of proven recovery, brotherhood and identity in Christ

Join the ⁠⁠⁠DeepClean Inner Circle⁠⁠⁠⁠ today!

In this Episode, Im going to talk about everything mother wound:

- How our mother forms our sexuality- Common wounds from the mother- Enmeshment - mom uses the son to numb her pain

- Triangulation - mom does everything for the family to numb her pain

- 4 practical steps you can take to heal your mother wound and BE A MAN who is free from porn, masturbation, sex and the fear holding you down from all God made you to be

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

If you’re not ready for that step yet, you can start with my free Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide:👉 ⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠

And if you want to learn more about me and the work I do, you can head here:👉 ⁠shawnbonneteau.com⁠

Renewing your mind is a key concept in Christianity, but how do you do it?

You may know what to do, but how?

Lets talk about that today so you are clear in the how and have some ideas of your next steps

In this episode. I talk about:

- Overcoming temptation to porn, masturbation and other sins through articulating your deeper wounding

- Bringing your wounds to Jesus

- Developing your prayer life

- Renewing your mind through clarity of what needs renewing

For more insights on Inner Child work and trauma care, check out my past episodes - they're FULL of coaching tips on how to apply what you're learning

Looking for more?

Our all new Inner Circle program has been FIRE - a place of proven recovery, brotherhood and identity in Christ

Join the ⁠DeepClean Inner Circle⁠⁠ today!

Make sure to check out Episodes 1, 2 and 3 from Season 3, all about my Porn Recovery Framework that I use everyday when coaching clients 1:1 and in group settings

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

If you’re not ready for that step yet, you can start with my free Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide:👉 ⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠

And if you want to learn more about me and the work I do, you can head here:👉 ⁠shawnbonneteau.com⁠

Helena is back! Get ready to learn all about her recent 2 years and how she overcame depression and renewed her faith in Christ...

We will talk about Helenas struggle with depression and the state it created in her

And about how Shawn found himself as a foreigner, a parent of 2 girls and a husband of a wife going through ALOT at once.

How did Helena overcome depression without pills?

How did Shawn remain integrous and porn free?

This is a really powerful raw chat between two people who have been through a ton. Married 9 years, 8 years of freedom from secual addiction and now 2 kids and a large coaching practise - we love giving back to inspire, convict and offer hope

May out failures be your success so you can experience ALL that Jesus has for you

Its time to overcome depression, fear, shame, porn addiction, masturbation and all other sexual bondage!

Looking for more?

Our all new Inner Circle program has been FIRE - a place of proven recovery, brotherhood and identity in Christ

Join the DeepClean Inner Circle⁠ today!

Make sure to check out Episodes 1, 2 and 3 from Season 3, all about my Porn Recovery Framework that I use everyday when coaching clients 1:1 and in group settings

If you're really on the fence of what to do next, ⁠heres my free 90 day porn survival guide⁠, this can be an awesome starting point if you're not ready to invest $2 per day

MORE resources and info on 1:1 Coaching with Shawn: https://secrethabit.ca/

RESOURCE PLUG: Humility by Andrew Murray is the book that CHANGED us around this topic of emptying ourselves and truly filling up with Jesus

Theres one challenge guys run into everytime when trying to quit porn, overcome masturbation and put and end to any sexual struggles

It is not what you would expect... its focusing on the task at hand more than the purpose ahead

I am a huge fan of seeing outcomes and experiences over the task itself.

This can be a huge help to create more hope, optimism, faith and desire to do hard things any god recovery requires

A lot of guys do need help with these things though, its not EASY, even if its simple

IF you do need help, for $2 a day, you can join us in the DeepClean Inner Circle

A place of Godly Brotherhood built on a Proven Content and Coaching model that has helped over 1500 guys

Learn more about Inner Circle Here

In todays episode, you'll learn about:

- Why a mission is so important

- Why outcome focused is better than task focused

- My powerful Mission Statement template

- How to apply Mission Statements into your life for maximum effectiveness

If you want more info on our approach at DeepClean before joining DeepClean Inner Circle

Make sure to check out Episodes 1, 2 and 3 from Season 3, all about my Porn Recovery Framework that I use everyday when coaching clients 1:1 and in group settings

If you're really on the fence of what to do next, heres my free 90 day porn survival guide, this can be an awesome starting point if you're not ready to invest $2 per day