Secret Habit: Porn Recovery for Christian Men

The final step in this framework is focused on freedom, but more honestly, its about confidence, integrity and longevity. This is really what guys want… they want to LIVE their lives without the bondage of “what if I slip again” or “what if I get tempted”

ENOUGH with this crap… freedom doesnt talk like this, and I want to explain to you HOW to get free. Its not about time, its about resolving root pain and finding completion in your heart - sure this takes time, but time is not the main factor.

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this part 3 episode, I am going to talk all about freedom and the ways to develop healthy confidence.

• What works 

• Finding clarity on the reasons for the root issues, not just the root issues themselves

• Resolving the root pain behind the unmet needs and wounds

• Finding completion with painful relationships

•  Renewing the mind and restoring your identity in Christ

• What does not work

• Focusing on the present and seeing re occurring problems as part of life

• Seeing on going issues as your thorn in the flesh

• Assuming that the past is forgiven so there's no need to do any work with your childhood

• Getting stuck in the busy cycle of recovery

• Concepts

• Reverse Engineering - finding clarity in why XYZ arouses you

• Forgiveness

• Soul Ties

• Redefining Core Motivations

• Inner Child Work

  
  

  Application

Its insane how many guys think that awareness is what changes your life… I was stuck in that mindset for a long time and it really kept me stuck… I knew my struggles but I didnt know what to do with them

In this episode, I will lay out the framework for you to get SUPER clear on the real problems and then get SUPER clear on what to do about them based off of what the problems are revealing about your heart.

I am excited about this episode guys, this content is some of the best I have ever come by and I am really proud of the work we do with DeepClean… it took me many years to understand this concept and now you can figure it out with me in just 20 mins, thats pretty cool!

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Heres what ill be sharing in this part 2 episode all about becoming emotionally mature and achieving solid sobriety

• What works

• Becoming emotionally aware THEN using that awareness to change the way you act

• What doesn't work

• Defining your emotions and expecting life to change because you now know how you feel

• Concept

• Utilize Trigger Digger, Trigger Template and Journaling to grow in awareness

• Quick insight on each one

• Define your red zone plan - triggers, fear response, tendencies

• Understand your longings/needs - main needs of humans and 4 ways to get them met

• Create a green zone plan focused on what and how will help you experience what you need - proactive and reactive

• Application with example

• Red Zone

• Trigger: Fear of rejection

• Response: Submit and freeze

• Tendencies: people please, overeat, judge others, internal anger, avoidance of conflict, futility towards relationships

• Needs

• Safety, vulnerability, support, predictability, hope, reassurance, curiosity

• Green Zone

• What can help

• Bible, prayer walks, calling a friend, spotify playlist, having a bath, meeting with mentor, throwing rocks by the water, hugging my wife

• Who can help

• Wife, friend, mentor, God, sister, brother

• When did I feel it before

• Conflict with mom was resolved, safee to fail with wife, exposed by friend with love, invited into fellowship with church group

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode and 3 part series, I am going to show you the SIMPLE way to do recovery effectively. I have seen thai help hundreds of guys overcome porn, masturbation, and sex addiction and I want to share it with you in a bite size version

I have been free nearly 8 years from porn, masturbation and sex and iv spent 10 000 + hours refining this process. I hope you will glean from it so you can have everything and more in the next few years of your recovery

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Here’s what I talk about in this part 1 episode on Gaining Perspective

• Who/Where

• The Gospel - Scripture, Holy Spirit

• Mentors

• Peers/Spotters

• Disagree’ers

• WHY

• We need to get out of our own head and feelings 

• start to see and know what is true, factual and proven

• Let this dictate how you choose, feel and live

• NAS

• In knowledge and understanding, you will grow in confidence… ASSURE yourself in the salvation story, Gods character and His promises for you

• Find a spiritual father - glean from experience

• Find a discipleship partner - sharpen one another

• Find a resource that is focused on scripture, facts and has proven results… NOT MORE HYPE or surface stuff

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

We're a month into 2025, how are you doing with your triggers and temptations?

In this episode, I want to ensure you dont just run away from your temptations, I want you to understand them, face them and overcome them

We just launched DeepClean Signature 2.0 and its FIRE - you will learn much more about in this episode.

Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

Today, we will talk about:

- How Emotions and Sexuality Are Connected

- What Triggers and Temptation Tell Us

- How To Create a Trigger Template

- How to Ask Great Questions About Our Temptations and Triggers

- How To Get To The Bottom Of Why you're Triggered

- Defining Core Lies

- Getting Needs Met

- Pursuing Real Recovery

These topics are fundamental to recovery. Guys in DeepClean are getting incredible results from just these 2 videos in our new course.

If you want to take your recovery to the next level, theres no better time to take the next step,

Heres a few ways for you take that next step

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

2. Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

Credit to DeepClean and Sathiya Sam & Pure Desires Arousal Template

Hey man, 2025 is fast approaching, but that doesnt mean you cant still make the most of 2024! In this episode I share some thoughts on how you can focus on generosity in this season and get yourself set up for success by enrolling in DeepClean

This episode was inspired by a nudge from the Lord to stand firm in my calling as a father one morning. Since then, I started to think about how we need to go from compassion, to leadership to firmness

In this episode, you will learn all about the ways to change, but even more, the ways to go through the pain that comes with change

1. Speaking to the man with language that conveys strength and boldness

2. Focusing on 30 day increments to experience the blessing of change/sobriety from porn

3. Creating task focused mission statements to snap yourself out of the dopamine spiral and into the truth

4. Emotional Regulation to ensure you have the bedrock of recovery rock solid

If you need help with any of these steps, dont delay getting in touch. I know these concepts can be difficult to apply on your own, not to say you MUST get 1:1 coaching, but to say, you really need to be honest with yourself and how probable it is that you can do this without the right help

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

If you’re not ready for that step yet, you can start with my free Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide:👉 ⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠

And if you want to learn more about me and the work I do, you can head here:👉 ⁠shawnbonneteau.com⁠

Learning the Czech Language has made me so aware of what guys need when healing from porn addiction... they need clarity, simplicity and spotted reps. They don't need more discipline or harder work, they need more guidance!

Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

In this episode, ill share about my journey of learning Czech and how its improved my coaching 100x over

Ill go into details about why the DeepClean system is so incredibly powerful, even more than I knew before learning a language

If you feel helpless, lost, or stuck when it comes to quitting porn and overcoming sexual brokenness, then this episode is definitely for you!

Book a call to work with me: https://secrethabit.ca/call

Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

This episode is all about helping YOU make the most of your time and effort, so you can get the healing from porn addiction that you're looking for

In this episode, you will learn about

- the true mindset to prioritizing what matters most

- deep work vs learning and preparing

- making time vs having time

- mission statements

- inner child healing

A lot of this can be fairly easy to apply, however, to stay consistent, thats the true test. If you struggle with consistency, I would assume theres some deeper roots to work through

If you need help healing the roots, book a call with our team. Working with us is often the difference between someone throwing mud against the wall or finding lasting freedom from their porn addiction

Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

This is Episode 100 of the SH podcast! Bring on the fireworks!! Im so excited to bring this REALLY IMPORTANT word for such a milestone episode

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Iv been UBER convinced lately that guys need to grow in leadership... I did and I still do, and that's after 7 years of freedom from porn addiction!

Here are a few of my recent convictions:- Leadership is a non-negotiable- leadership is difficult and rarely taught/understood- leadership is built on empathy and strength- Iv missed out on ensuring guys feel fully equipped in the step of leadership- Anytime someone is stuck after growing in self awareness it always comes down to a lack of leadership

Here are some of the biggest challenges I see with clients recently:- Moving from self-awareness to daily AND life long change- How to live in TRUTH when what FEELS TRUE is so powerful- Leading themselves aka, renewing their minds Here is what I want to explain, explore, and coach you on today:- Where guys are struggling to lead (with examples)- Defining their inner child feelings, thoughts, and needs - Role-playing leadership to ensure you are fully equipped - my 3 step formula - Learning about the boy within - my 3 step template

- Separating what feels true from what really is true through love and STRENGTH

*For more content on inner child work, you can check out other episodes on the POD, but for now, check out some of the resources linked here, they will get you on the right track.

👉 Take the Clarity Quiz to better understand the real issue behind your addiction to porn :⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠secrethabit.ca/quiz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Betrayal Trauma Coaches (Affiliated with DeepClean)

• Lila Pisor - book a call

• Stacey Oliver - book a call

Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

Most people struggle to feel momentum in their Christian walk. This leads to low self esteem, dull confidence and lukewarm living... which leads guys to relapsing with porn. Not a fun cycle to be in!

One of the biggest reasons I see for this is that we dont know how to truly sharpen one another (Scripture says that iron sharpens iron)

Most people are "great" at giving advice, but the advice is actually harmful, or unhelpful at best...

We focus way to much on the surface problem and neglect peoples deep pain

We must start asking questions that get to the heat of the issue

King Artaxerxis in Nehemiah 2 is a great example of what we call curiosity in the recovery world. He asks Nehemiah a wonderful question to get below the surface, and then further, he asks how he can help RATHER than assuming his advice is what he needs

I also dive ito some paradigm shifts when it comes to discipleship, accountability and friendship

These are some AWESOME tips on how to develop a healthier life which leads to quitting porn and growing in sexual integrity

Get Your Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide here:

⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

In this episode, you'll learn why you you're coming up short even if you're "doing all the right things"

This may be in porn recovery, family, marriage, work... whatever it is, you MUST change your core motivation or else you'll stay stuck.

We all have a core identity and from that core identity we have motivations

If your motivations are focused on NOT being a failure and working hard to not be one, you'll miss the gospel

The gospel saves, PERIOD. Jesus is the solution here, but he meets us in such strategies to renew our belief system and change the very reason we do anything

May this be the driver to changing your life... its time to quit porn and masturbation, to redeem your marriage, to enjoy Godly sex and to be men of integrity!

Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠