Self-Coaching

In this Self-Coaching Valentine's Day episode, Lauren and I discuss the many aspects of love and loving. When Cupid's arrow pierces our heart it sets in motion not only a powerful emotional reaction, but a biological process involving numerous feel-good, bonding chemicals including oxytocin, dopamine, and endogenous opioids--strong stuff!

Whether it's physical love, platonic love, flirtation, or parental love, there's no question that human beings are hard-wired to love. Join us as we explore the many facets of love, intimacy, passion, and commitment.

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I want you to Imagine that you’re on your patio trying to relax. You notice a cute little pigeon milling about, pecking and minding its own business. Innocently, you toss it a few crumbs from a leftover sandwich you'd been eating. The next day you go out to your patio and within minutes your little pigeon buddy reappears with a companion. Enthusiastically, you throw out a few more crumbs. By the end of the week, you're inundated with hundreds of pigeons leaving your once pristine patio a shamble of feathers, droppings, and a cacophony of cooing. You ask, "What should I do?” And to anyone witnessing your problem the answer is simple, "Stop feeding the pigeons!"

If you allow reflexive, knee-jerk, insecure thinking to flock into your life with needless worry, fear, or negativity, then you're feeding the pigeons of insecurity. And if you insist on feeding your insecurity, the distasteful truth is that you will suffer. From now on, keep the image of the pigeons in mind every time you find yourself spinning with insecurity-driven thinking, then remind yourself to, "Stop feeding the pigeons!"

A famous line from the comic strip Pogo reads, “We have seen the enemy and he is us.” If you’re at all concerned about whether you, or someone you know, may be too egotistical or narcissistic, this Self-Coaching episode can help. Lauren and I discuss the various shades of egoism and narcissism as it applies to relationships and everyday life.

Whether it’s the pursuit of happiness or simply living a more successful life, in this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I talk about strategies to maximize your chances of reaching your goals.

There’s a saying that goes: “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” The longer you do nothing about what you want out of life, the longer you will live with empty dreams. Wishful thinking can never replace purpose-driven action. A successful life doesn’t come looking for you; it must be sought, pursued // and embraced.

Understand that a big reason why you quit on your goals isn’t because it's too hard, too frustrating, or too complicated. You quit because you allow yourself to believe it's too hard, frustrating, or complicated.

The person who refuses to accept negativity is the person who will always triumph. Starting today, aim at something, risk believing in yourself, then pull the trigger of action.

In this Self-Coaching podcast, Lauren and I discuss resiliency--your capacity to recover from difficult life events. Being resilient doesn’t mean you won’t experience difficulty or distress—you’ll never escape the pain of being human. But you can learn to be more resilient!

Resilience is like a muscle you can work at becoming more resilient. Start out by becoming more mindful, focus on doing something that occupies your mind and gives you a sense of accomplishment. You may have to force yourself at first, but remember, you’re building muscle—be patient!  

Most importantly, accept the changes—big or small—that have been thrust upon you. Don’t cling to what was or what should have been, let go of the past and begin cultivating a hopeful attitude that will serve you going forward.  

Healing takes time, be patient, give yourself time.

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss a better approach to making new year's resolutions. Now that it’s 2022 if you’re like most people, you’ve probably come up with a few new year’s resolutions. And why not, the new year brings with it an expectation of wiping the old slate clean and starting anew. We all like fresh starts. And as optimistic as you might be, don’t be blinded by short-sighted, wishful thinking.

In order to have those resolutions come to fruition, you need to recognize that unless you change your mind, you can’t expect your goals to be realized. If you really, really  want to succeed this year, understand that it all boils down to self-discipline.

And you build self-discipline by willfully enduring the transient discomfort of changing who and what you are. You’re not born with self-discipline you acquire it!

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I address the importance of learning to become more patient. Think of patience as a muscle. The more you seek immediate gratification, the more your patience muscle atrophies. The opposite is equally true, the more you cultivate an attitude of patience, acceptance, and mindfulness, the more your patience muscle grows. With increased patience you feel more in control. Why? Because you’ve decided not to be a victim of that which you can’t control.

Accepting life, all of life, is a way of reducing friction. By resisting, stamping your feet and insisting, “I can’t wait!” “I need it now” the more you’re identifying with helplessness. You’re not helpless, the quality of your present moment is entirely in your hands. It’s up to you whether or not you ring your hands in anguish about something you’re waiting for or whether you’re enjoying the release and solace that comes from accepting that you can’t control fate. Waiting is an inescapable part of life…how you wait is entirely up to you

Do you ever say, “Today’s not a good day”? Or, “I have to go to work”? Or, “I have to pay the bills”? Life sounds like drudgery, doesn’t it? Before you resign yourself to just “getting through” another day, recognize what you’re doing. For starters, you’re conceding that today won’t be an opportunity for anything worthwhile. We call this a self-fulfilling prophecy--what you tell yourself and what you believe are what you and your life become.

In this Self-Coaching episode you'll learn to stop prejudicing yourself with a short-sighted, pessimistic attitude. Instead, you can open yourself up to the awareness that every day—in spite of any whining—is an opportunity, an adventure.  The truth is, you don’t know what may be around the next corner. It could be wonderful, not terrible. As the saying goes, when the pupil is ready, the teacher appears.

In this Self-Coaching episode I offer practical, everyday suggestions for living a more effective life. Sometimes, even the most commonsense solutions to life struggles are buried in needless, superficial neurotic distractions. The suggestions in this podcast are meant to awaken in you a deeper understanding and perception of your true potential. By removing the clutter of insecurity-driven, reflexive doubts, fears, and negatives, you open yourself up for the life that awaits you.

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss the seven secrets to a successful, happier life. They are:

Embracing optimismCultivating hopePracticing presence & mindfulnessFinding the good in peopleRisking Self-trustDefining your personal moralityCultivating a sense of humor

Isn’t it time to risk believing in yourself, to stop dwelling in doubt, to manage your fears and worries, and never falling prey to negativity? Remember, it’s never too late to become what you might have been.