Self-Performance Strategies Podcast

Let's talk about frustration being positive.

 Welcome to the Self-Performance-Strategies (S-P-S) Podcast

"Frustration is fuel that can lead to the development of an innovative and useful idea."

- Marley Dias

I fought frustration and lost.

For parts of my adult life, I was frustrated.

Why?

Because I always thought there was a better way to do things.

In the environments I used to work before starting my own business

I would push back, fight, and get frustrated.

My frustrations, while valid, did not help the situation.

I would often feel like the one complaining or being grumpy.

Now, I believe in change, and we must move things forward.

I got frustrated because the changes I saw didn't go far enough or were shallow ideas to cover deeper cultural issues.

I fell into this trap of being frustrated and then feeling like I couldn't do anything to change or influence the outcome.

Looking back, I now know I could have come at things with a more positive or supportive tone.

It can be hard to stay upbeat when you see the same mistakes being repeated.

But that is a different story for another newsletter.

When I finally left the corporate world, I thought I would be less frustrated.

Well, I was wrong.

For the 1st 3-6 months, I fought frustration but didn't do much to change.

Maybe I worked a little harder, but I complained and felt uncomfortable.

I had become a victim of frustration.

I had forgotten I have the power to use frustration positively.

I had seen what frustrated me and froze.

I repeated the same mistakes.

I repeated the same actions.

I expected it to get better.

It didn't

Then it hit me hard.

I was fighting frustration with frustration.

I was not using frustration as a compass.

I drank and partied a lot in my late 20s and early 30s.

I was frustrated with my life.

But at that point, I saw frustration as a guide.

It told me, "Steve, you are not happy with your life, do something."

So, I did.

The corporate world had tricked me into feeling I could only do so much when it came to my frustration.

There are "limitations" to the changes you can make. (or so I was told)

But in your life, frustration is a tool, a compass, a map.

And the only limitations we have are the ones we set on ourselves.

I sat down and asked myself:

What was I frustrated with?

Once I got that answer, I asked.

What can I do to improve this frustration?

Once I got that answer, I took action.

Positive results began to stack, and I felt much happier and more satisfied with myself.

I now ask myself weekly, what is the largest struggle and frustration you faced last week?

And I use frustration as a positive point to make my life go smoother and travel faster toward my goals.

Frustration is now my friend again.

It whispers weekly in my ear and tells me how I can improve.

Fall in love with frustration.

99% of business owners see frustration as a negative. 

But 99% of them are wrong. 

Frustration is a positive. 

Let's see why:

Frustrated with frustration? 

You probably have lost count of the times you have experienced frustration. 

You might have spent years feeling it daily. 

You felt its presence and assumed it was negative to feel like this. 

You would fight it, push back; you were wrong to do that.

Frustration is healthy: 

It's a sign of progress; it's a sign you want to improve, despite the accompanying negative emotions. 

As you get closer to your goals, you must understand that frustration is part of inner growth. 

Without frustration, life would be incredibly dull.

A common mistake: 

99% of the clients I speak to use the word frustration in our 1st conversations. 

Often, people give up when frustration appears, believing the goal is now unachievable. 

But frustration is a sign you want a change in life. 

Frustration is a positive feeling.

Explore frustration: 

It is trying to tell you that you want to change. 

Sit with the frustration, lean into it, and let the emotion wash over you. How does it feel? 

Where do you feel it? 

What does it look like? 

What are you frustrated with? 

Pinpoint the pain 1st, then fix it.

Organize your sh*t: 

Now you've felt the frustration; tapped into the part of you who wants to improve. 

It's time to get organized. 

Remove the frustration by dropping projects and the parts of you holding you back. 

Create new targets, develop new plans, and act on the change.

Frustration is the compass to your next level: 

In your life, the area you are frustrated with is the exact area you need to improve. 

You are frustrated because you are stuck; you want to do better. 

You are telling yourself exactly how to level up. 

That is a huge positive.

Frustration drives success: 

Every client I speak with is frustrated with something: 

• Overwhelm 

• Procrastination 

• Lack of direction 

• Lack of motivation 

• Lack of positive results 

What do you think we fix 1st? 

Yes, the frustration. 

It is the way to success.

Stop fighting frustration: 

Frustration is a positive part of your journey. From personal experience, I know the bigger the goal, the greater the frustration. 

Because big goals demand big changes mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

Don't fight frustration; you will lose.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

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Big love,
ST

Welcome to the Self-Performance-Strategies (S-P-S) Podcast

"Behaviour is the mirror in which everyone shows their image."

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Groundhog day.

Once upon a time, I used to repeat the same mistakes repeatedly.

No, Stephen, not you.

Yes, sadly, it would take several punches to the face before I would learn the lesson.

I would expect life to get better, but not do anything to make that happen.

I was the type of person who set New Year's resolutions that were more like wishes.

This year will be different, I would think.

But by Jan 5th, I would be walking the same path I walked the previous 5 years.

One day in around 2012, I heard Gary Vee (he has his moments) 

Saying that you can start resolutions or a New year any day you want.

I know it sounds pretty obvious.

But it hit me hard.

I had recently got a new visa to stay in Canada and was changing careers.

It was one of the moments I said to myself…

Not again; I won't let this stop-start up-down life keep derailing me.

And that Gary Vee quote framed my emotions and thoughts.

But how did I do it?
What made the change?

I stopped doing dumb shit.

Now, it has taken me years to realize this.

But I didn't start my new life by adding new habits.

I changed it by stopping habits or replacing bad ones with not-so-bad ones.

I swapped drinking and parting for TV shows and video games.

Years later, I would swap TV and games for books and action.

But that's another story.

I didn't read 20 personal development books to figure that out; it made sense.

Less dumb shit = better life.

Because of that, I made huge behaviour and life shifts.

1st I made good money working luxury sales.

Then made a big career shift making 6-figures in the corporate world.

Before shifting again last year to running my own coaching business.

All this happened under 10 years from my Gary Vee platitude quote moment.

The funny thing is the previous 10 years had been the same year repeated 10 times.

It's amazing what can happen when you change your behaviour.

You're stuck because you use technical solutions and hacks from problems that need a change in behaviour or emotional repair.

We all go through it:

You have hit a wall, your life has plateaued, and you keep reading books, doing courses, and trying strategies to get out of your rut.

But it never works.

You get little spikes up, but they never last.

Shallow work is easy:

You do this because it is easier to use tricks, strategies and random ideas pulled from courses to improve your business than it is to work deeply on yourself.

You ride this shallow wave of small wins followed by the usual frustration.

The brick wall:

You will hit a wall at some point, but you can avoid that wall by looking past shallow actions.

When you do take time to reflect and ask yourself why this cycle happens, you will start to find the real answers.

You need to adapt your behaviour and emotions.

All progress starts by telling the truth:

80% of what you are doing today, mentally, emotionally, and physically, is holding you back from your next level.

Now I can't answer what that is for you, but it can fall into two areas:

You are the constraint:

When you start looking internally for the solution, your growth will start to build again.

The change can be rather quick, but the internal work will take focus and effort.

When you figure it out, you can't believe you didn't see the issues earlier.

In the zone:

Nothing happens, and then everything happens at once.

That is what a breakthrough does for you.

Success comes quickly.

You spend weeks and months searching for your problems externally, only to find out your next leap always comes from within.

This will repeat:

I have seen this in my own life and in many of my client's lives.

This external chase for solutions happens as we hit new highs.

We all assume we have done the internal work and don't need to do it again.

But we have to keep doing it over and over again.

The upside:

When you understand this cycle and if you feel yourself getting stuck again.

You will spend less time chasing the external and automatically go to the internal work.

This will shorten the time you spend on plateaus and in ruts.

Making success inevitable.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

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LinkedIn

Big love,
ST

Welcome to the Self-Performance-Strategies (S-P-S) Podcast

The main Quote:

Check your ego at the door. The ego can be the great success inhibitor. It can kill opportunities, and it can kill success.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Your ego is not letting you grow. 

Do you get overwhelmed, stuck, and frustrated quickly?

Let's fix this.

Your past is clashing with your future: 

Your ego loves all your bad or comfortable habits. 

From your thought patterns to wasting hours on social media.

When you try to change, your ego says no. 

But often, the ego voice is hard to hear.

Why can't I hear my ego? 

You overwhelm yourself with worry, busy work, and distraction. 

The ego is playing 4D chess, and you're playing Hungry Hippos, snapping up any form of distraction that comes your way. 

You need to become the Bobby Fischer of your mind.

Learn to play mental chess: 

Spending more time alone is the biggest shift you can make to allow yourself to grow. 

Simple, yes, very hard to build a habit. 

Why? 

Because your ego doesn't want you to reflect, think, and be with your inner source. 

Your ego is good at this game.

You will see improvements quickly: 

Even a couple of minutes alone in the morning before your work will make a significant difference. 

Instead of jumping straight into overwhelm and distraction for the day. Your 1st chess move is intentional. 

One move at a time is how you win.

Momentum will build: 

You start stacking your wins. 

You start seeing how your ego was pulling you into overwhelm and distraction. 

You had some underlying emotional fears and doubts about your new direction. 

You can see how the ego was moving you away from these emotions.

You make your moves: 

You now understand why the ego distracted you with busy work and bad habits. 

You face your fears and doubts, and you make some key moves to improve your deserve levels in life. 

Because YOU deserve SUCCESS. 

Don't let the ego tell you otherwise.

Checkmate: 

Using the power of reflection, planning, and intention. 

You defeat the ego, and you leave overwhelm and distraction behind you. You and your business start to grow again. 

You won. 

But… It's time now, time to face the next ego grandmaster. 

Get ready to move.

7 ways to defeat your ego at mental chess.

The ego is a tool to be used and controlled, not an enemy to fight. 

Lead yourself and lead your ego to help you succeed in your business.

Stop getting offended:

The behaviour of others isn't a reason to get upset. 

If you let things offend you, it only weakens your energy. 

As Christopher Hitchens says, 

"Those who are determined to be 'offended' will discover a provocation somewhere."

Your ego is convincing you that the world should be how you want it to be; it doesn't work like that.

Please stop it.

You don't need to win all the time:

Your ego loves to divide the world into winners and losers, but this is not true. 

Because ultimately, winning is impossible all the time. 

Someone out there right now is faster, younger, healthier, and smarter than you.

Does that make you a loser? 

Of course not. 

So don't let your ego make you feel worthless or insignificant. 

Because you are not. 

Let go of needing to win by not agreeing that the opposite of winning is losing. 

That is your ego's fear, not yours.

You are not right all the time:

Your ego is the source of a lot of conflict and disagreement. 

Because it wants you to be right, making other people wrong. 

Letting go of your need to be right is very powerful. 

Even letting people win, even when you know they are wrong.

Is it a big issue? 

Will it matter in 5 mins? 

No, then back down and move on. 

If you are open to being wrong sometimes, you can flex your humility and grow; your ego no longer blocks your path. 

You save yourself so much energy and can focus on more important things.

Don't be superior: 

Authenticity isn't about being better than someone else. 

It's about being better than YOU used to be. 

Stay focused on your growth, be humble, and help others. 

With success, your ego will want to tell you that you are better than everyone.

While you might be more successful than others, there is no need to start acting like a d*ck.

Empathy > Ego

Know when to stop: 

The ego is never satisfied. 

No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will want more. You'll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving and reaching for a new end goal. 

Making it so you never truly arrive at any of your goals.

The thing is, you've already arrived and succeeded. 

When you detach from the need for the goal. 

You may even find it easier to get to. 

Also, you become more grateful because you realize how little you need to be satisfied in life.

You are not your reputation or achievements:

Hear me out; it is impressive to have accomplishments.

But be grateful for them.

The less you need to take credit for your accomplishments or have people recognize them.

The more you are free to achieve in life.

When your ego attaches who you are to those achievements, and you believe your own hype. 

People might not want to work with you again. 

You also start to build a bias towards your way based on past experiences. 

Be open, be cool, be helpful.

Let go of control:

The ego wants to control and micromanage everything. 

As my good friend, Epictetus tells me: "

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will."

It helps if you regularly remind yourself and your ego of what is in your control and what is not. 

It sounds simple, but it is not easy. 

Your ego will always want to come 1st. 

You have to control it and move it around your mental chess board to succeed in life.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Big love,
ST

Episode 30: Performance Origins with Save Your Sons, aka Harrison.

Welcome to the SPS Podcast.

Save Your Sons, aka Harrison, is a business coach that helps busy dads grow and monetize a following so they can escape the 9-5 and create more freedoms for their family. 

Check out SYS links here:

SYS: Twitter

SYS: Instagram

Website: saveyousons.com 

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Big love,
ST

Let's ask; Do you believe in yourself?

Welcome to the Self-Performance-Strategies Podcast (S-P-S) 

The Quote:

"If you don't look back at yourself and think, "Wow, how stupid I was a year ago," then you must not have learned much in the last year."

- Ray Dalio

The main takeaways:

You need to believe in yourself.

There was a time I lacked self-belief.

While I was cocky and a little arrogant, underneath, I was not the same.

 I lacked confidence in my abilities and would often play the fool.

Or I would look to fun and parties to ease the pain of not having the confidence or clarity to chase my dreams.

The lack of self-belief would come out during pressure situations.

In my 20s, as I avoided building belief in myself, I would end up blowing up in key moments.

On several occasions, I self-sabotaged in interviews for better roles in the organizations I worked in.

I just crumbled under a bit of pressure or would make a joke at a moment when it was not the time to joke.

I would then go out and party to ease my pain and blame it on others.

You can see the cycle I was in.

One day I had enough. 

My life had stayed very similar for most of my 20s

If you are not looking back and cringing at who you were 6 months ago, you are not growing.

I could look back over the years, and I felt the same.

In a bold leap, I moved to Canada.

I knew I needed to change my environments.

I knew I needed to get out of this low self-belief, self-sabotaging cycle.

The distance I got from my old life helped me see my miss steps.

I was able to see my past from a more positive viewpoint.

Now, I was able to see the skills I had and the growth I had gone through.

The decision to move to Canada from the UK gave me the space I needed to change my thinking about myself.

It was the BIG domino in my late 20s that changed my life.

In the space of a few years, I went from $12 an hour jobs to 6-figure sales roles, believing in myself had a large updside.

You don't need to move 7000 km or 4500 miles to start believing in yourself.

Now, I use journaling, meditation, long walks, and setting quarterly goals to help me believe in myself.

I am constantly reviewing my weeks and months and calling out the wins.

What this does is build self-belief.

Maybe if I had worked that out in the UK, I would still be there.

But I love my new life in Vancouver.

It all worked out in the end.

Unchecked, low self-belief is a never-ending spiral that will affect your business and life.

Here are 5 areas you can fix today, helping you build back your self-belief.

Those who believe in themselves tend to rise higher than those who are talented. 

They get knocked down but get up again. 

They figure it out whatever the situation. 

But how do you build bulletproof self-belief? 

If you're feeling stuck; fixing these 5 areas will help:

Your environments: 

What kind of people and attitudes are you subjecting yourself to daily?
Have positive workplaces or groups of friends now turned toxic? 

You can change your environments, take the best leave the rest. 

Negative environments constantly dent your self-belief.

Your experiences: 

Everyone has taken hits. 

From failed businesses to projects that flopped hard. 

You have also been lucky at times. 

What you experience shapes you. 

You can let it all dent your self-belief, or you can not be a victim and see it all as growth.

Your inputs: 

When you listen, read, and talk about the negatives in life. 

It will dent your self-belief and affect how you see the world. 

But this works in reverse as well. 

Go talk, read, or listen to people doing bigger things than you and see your possibilities expand.

Your hobbies: 

You can stack wins in areas of your life away from your business. 

Your self-belief is low because you are not creating those wins. 

Go to the gym, go for a hike, and find ways to stack wins. 

Winning is contagious. 

Feeling good in one area of life spreads to others.

Your attention: 

What pulls you? 

Where do you put your attention? 

Do you focus on the 100 good things in your business, or do you let one bad thing derail your days and weeks? 

Self-belief is hard to build when you always have your negative glasses on. 

Take them off today.

This is the tip of the iceberg. 

There is much more to self-belief than these 5 points, but they stand out as the most common and the simplest to fix. 

Where can you make quick shifts to build your self-belief? 

You need it if you want your business to succeed.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Big love,
ST

Let's ask; What if this was easy?

Episode 28 of the  Self-Performance-Strategies (S-P-S) Podcast

All things are difficult before they are easy.

- Thomas Fuller

Main Takeaways:

If this was easy, what would it look like?

Not going to lie; this is one of my favourite questions to ask myself.

There was a time not so long ago I would get frustrated quickly.

While I still get frustrated.

It doesn't happen as often.

But it was a struggle to overcome.

Small things would piss me off.

From technology not working to having a bad day playing sports.

Something would not go my way; I would get worked up, and then more things would again not go my way.

You've been there. 

You hit a spiral and slide down it fast.

One day I was listening to Tim Ferriss, and he talked about using a simple 9-word question to frame how he would approach things:

If this was easy, what would it look like?

For some reason, I was in the right mind frame.

That question hit right in the brain box.

The old cogs started to turn, and I thought.

"Could this work"

"Could this pull me out of frustration?"

Later that week, I played a reasonably competitive football game (soccer).

A few things went wrong early on, my touch was off, and I felt tired and slow.

I took a second and asked myself:

"What if this was easy?"

I instantly thought:

I would be playing with a smile on my face.

I would be light on my feet.

I would control and release the ball quickly. 

I would know what space to be in.

It worked.

It pulled me out of the frustration spiral.

Over the coming days and weeks, it became a mantra.

As frustration started to boil up, I would ask myself the question. From meetings, writing content, sales calls, or doing chores it became a framing.

Can I make this easier?

It eventually developed into a personal belief that there is always an easier way.

It's not always easy to find, but there is an easier way.

Thinking like this has helped me improve my results in many areas of my life.

It's a question that could help you do less and increase your results.

Ask yourself today:

If this was easy, what would it look like?

5 simple strategies highly productive business owners use to make their days easier

Are you busy all the time but never seem to produce results? 

Creating success doesn't need to be an uphill battle. 

Most people fail because they're working harder, not smarter.

They look at email and check notifications when they should be doing high $$$ work.

You will make success in life and business easier if you use the following frameworks daily:

Know your best hours: 

You do your best work when you feel most energized. 

It could be early in the morning or late at night. 

Your best hour for one type of work may not be the best hour for another kind. 

E.g. I do focus work in the morning and creative work at night.

Allocate your energy: 

You have limited energy daily. 

Don't waste your high energy on low-value work: 

• Emails 

• Chores 

• Worrying 

• Notifications 

Do your most important work first to get the most important results. Put important in front of urgent.

Avoid choice overload: 

Too many options lead to procrastination. 

Indecisiveness is a serious time and energy killer. 

Each day have: 

• 3 key priorities 

• Plenty of slack 

• Time built-in for rest and reflection 

You do more by doing less.

Remove distractions: 

Drop the dumb shit you do that derails your days. 

They say it takes 15 minutes to get back into the zone after a disruption.

When was the last day you went undisrupted for a few hours? 

If you can't remember, you have work to do.

Create a runway to flow: 

Flow is essential if you want to produce high-quality work.

Have a process that allows flow to happen daily. 

You can use: 

• Music 

• Meditation 

• Journaling 

• Breathing techniques 

For me, it's a short journal session, music on and then go.

Simple shifts; big impact. 

You can make life easier for yourself. 

If you take a step back and spend time creating systems and processes that allow you to do more work in less time. 

A little work upfront will save your hours and help produce better results. 

Go make life easier.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Big love,
ST

To frame this episode, I wanted to start with these quotes:

"The object of studying philosophy is to know one's own mind, not other peoples."
- William Ralph Inge

"To study philosophy is nothing but to prepare one's self to die."
- Cicero

Main Takeaways: 

1. Better thinking

The basics of philosophy teach us Logic, with this:

- You will be able to recognize an argument
- You'll know what fallacies are and be able to spot them
- You'll see what a fact or an assumption is

Philosophy gives you many systems to think with.

2. Values

You will be able to articulate what your values are and why you believe what you believe

You will also have sound reasons on why and what you care about

Philosophy brings clarity to life's foundations.

3. Your worldview

Like values, you will be able to articulate your beliefs and ideas about what kind of world this is

And most importantly, you will know what is of greatest value to you in life and what type of life is worth pursuing.

4. The art of study

Philosophy is best read with a journal close by and a highlighter in hand

As you read and complete books, you gain a sense of accomplishment

Because to understand all the ideas in philosophy, philosophy forces you to become a better learner.

5. Keeps your mindset sharp

Philosophy has intellectual challenges everywhere, from Plato to Kant

You will come across ideas that challenge your thinking and makes you see the world from different angles

Through challenges, we grow, and philosophy will offer you much growth

6. Predicts the future

Philosophy is as old as we are; you could argue that there was only philosophy to study people's nature before social sciences

Humans have a talent for repeating past mistakes and, like history, philosophy can help you see your blind spots.

7. Memento Mori

Our days will end, and the clock is ticking

We don't know when but nothing entitles you to a given number of days

Philosophy and, in particular, Stoicism helps you realize this

You need to make each day count

Philosophy is the love of wisdom and life.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Big love,
ST

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.

Lao Tzu.

I have a question for you 1st…

Do you want to improve how you lead?

Yes, good.

I want to take you through a 4-step process that I created after working in leadership roles for 15+ years; you can use it in any work or project situation to help you become a better leader in your business.

The process I am about to set out can also create benefits outside of work in your day-to-day life, so read to the end to see how.

What is this process?

Well, it’s called S.I.M.S.

- Simplify
- Inspire
- Move
- Support

Before we dive into these, I want to share a quote that exemplifies what leadership is.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader”

John Quincy Adams.

This quote doesn’t portray leadership as leading or giving directions; it’s about taking action in your own life.

It’s your actions and what you do that make you a leader.

Anytime you enter a new work environment, you want to use S.I.M.S. (which I realize is the name of a PC game), life is a game, and if you can use different models, acronyms, and methods to be a better leader, I am all for it.

Let’s dive into the components.

“If you can’t explain it to a 6-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself”

Albert Einstein.

Leaders in corporate settings and the entrepreneurial world need to learn this number one activity.

Simplify the directions you give to the people above, below, and around you.

There are only ever really three-five vital activities that are moving your business forward.

If you use the Pietro Principle, the 80/20 philosophy, you will find that 20% of your activities give you 80% of your results.

The goal is to then simply what you focus on so you can drop or reduce the effort in the rest.

You may think, no way, I’ve got so many things to do, but when you boil it down, most of those activities you or your team are doing aren’t affecting your results, revenue, or growth.

Do you ever finish a day or week and can’t remember what you did?

The reason for this is that you spent your week doing low-value busy work, shallow work that is easily forgettable and has no impact.

You should focus on the key drivers and then simplify, simplify, simplify so that everyone understands what they need to do.

“There are only two ways to influence human behaviour: you can manipulate it, or you can inspire it.”

Simon Sinek.

You may have heard of Simon Sinek; he’s a managerial expert and has written several books on the subject.

His lessons can apply to both corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

This quote illuminates a couple of things: you don’t manipulate or force people to do something, and you don’t manage people and processes.

You inspire people to work.

Managers manage people; leaders inspire people.

Leaders motivate people by giving them a vision and taking them on a journey.

They help their people grow, helping them transform and then transcend the role they hold.

If most of your people are not moving on to something bigger and better in their lives, professionally or personally, can you call yourself their leader?

When looking after a team or a process, many managers focus too narrowly on data and forget about the people.

If you can help inspire people, you will get the work done and make it enjoyable while you’re doing it.

Once you have simplified your message, you want to inspire people by creating a vision that motivates them.

You want to motivate them to not only do the work but to get better and eventually leave their role for something more challenging, more lucrative, or follow a passionate pursuit.

“Don’t tell people how to do things; tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”

George S. Patton.

M is for Move out of the way.

Give your team instructions, and then let them do the work.

I can’t even count how many managers ( I don’t use the word leader here) I have worked under or have seen give directions and then constantly follow up and remain hyper-involved in the process, effectively micromanaging.

Micromanaging is the curse of modern-day leadership.

Managers get involved because they think they can do it better or because an employee doesn’t have the skills, knowledge, or ability to do it the way they want it done.

So they do it themselves.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the overloading manager:

They give you a project or a task, and then when something else comes down the pipeline, they don’t know how to simplify, so they pile it on to you instead of evaluating what needs to be done and when.

They constantly create bottlenecks with poor workflow, another curse of modern-day leadership.

When an employee is overloaded, they are much less likely to complete any project in the manner necessary.

Sick days, more extended lunches, and a negative culture will grow like a disease; people will start leaving for greener pastures.

When you give your team activities to do, you’ve got to move out of the way.

I know this can be especially hard for entrepreneurs and leaders who used to be subject matter experts, but you must let your team do the work.

If they fail, they will learn.

If you do the work, you will continue always to have to do the work.

You become the constraint for the growth of your team and business.

4) Support

“A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better”

Jim Rohn.

Support your team and support your partners when they need you.

Don’t over-support them, and don’t undersupport them.

Often, managers can get bogged down, focusing on the underperformers and even ignoring their high performers.

Higher performers can then end up feeling neglected, and underperformers feel micromanaged.

You know they talk on their lunch breaks and outside of working hours?

Acting like this unbalances your team.

Even if you do everything else, simplify, inspire, and move out of the way, you can still fail because you must also support your staff mentally and emotionally when needed.

Bening there for them in the right way is how they will remember you.

It’s also why they will work longer and stand beside you in pressure moments.

One of the best models to help you understand this concept is Situational Leadership:

Also, being supportive is much more than having an open-door policy.

Sitting behind your big desk with two large monitors and no direct eye line shows your team your door might be open, but you don’t want them in your office.

Make it easy for them to speak to you when they need it while projecting your time.

It is a delicate balance.

But you have to get out there and show that you are available.

Seek people out, take them for coffee, organize fun activities, and make people feel good about being at work.

By making your team and work partners feel comfortable, you are increasing their autonomy, allowing them to focus better on their work, and creating the opportunity for mastering their craft.

You are preparing them to move on and up, perhaps even to replace you when you move on, and that gives them purpose because they see a future in the organization.

This way, they can set goals and work towards those goals when they are supported.

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”

Sir Edmund Hillary

Simplify: Simplify your life as much as you can. Do not take on too much; focus on three to five activities or habits you want to work on.

Inspire: Inspire yourself. Read good books, listen to podcasts, and avoid consuming too much “junk” media.

Move: Move out of your own way. You are often the block to your own success. You will talk yourself out of many ideas before starting to work on them. Just do it.

Support: Support yourself, look after yourself, eat healthily, sleep well, exercise, and reduce negative self-talk.

I hope you find S.I.M.S. useful.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

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Big love,
ST

Main Takeaways:

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

Marcus Aurelius

Well, by thinking about Memento Mori.

Essentially, you do more, live life to its fullest, and take strategic risks because you know you will die.

But wait, what is Memento Mori?

Well, it is a large part of Stoic philosophy.

It’s the practice of contemplating your mortality and remembering that one day you will die.

In English, it translates to “remember you must die”

Sounds morbid, right?

I know, but you need this concept in your life; it pushes you to take the right actions and not sit on the sidelines in life.

In his letters, Seneca explains the benefit of meditating on death:

“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing.

Let us balance life’s books each day…The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time. “

Marcus Aurelius had thoughts on this idea as well:

“Brief is man’s life and small the nook of the Earth where he lives; brief, too, is the longest posthumous fame, buoyed only by a succession of poor human beings who will very soon die and who know little of themselves, much less of someone who died long ago.”

Finally, Epictetus reminds us:

“I cannot escape death, but at least I can escape the fear of it.”

The Stoics believed that we must care for others while accepting death is out of our control.

There is a juxtaposition of thought between caring deeply for life while fully embracing and accepting death, which will come for us all.

This idea of thinking about death can seem very strange to many people in western cultures, as we have developed a habit of ignoring death.

Many live in the moment, think time is abundant, and never think they will die or have regrets in the future.

But in reality, death is one of the few things we all have in common with everyone else, along with regrets, for some.

One of my core beliefs about Stoicism is that it teaches us to do the right thing.

“Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter. Cold or warm. Tired or well-rested.”

Marcus Aurelius

When you appreciate each moment more and recognize that your time is limited, you learn to do the right thing by living in the now, which, for me, is one of the most Stoic actions you can take.

Thinking about death makes you grateful for every moment with loved ones and friends.

I want to celebrate the lives of those important to me while they are alive.

I want to do the activities that matter most to me.

Thinking about Memento Mori makes me want to be closer to those who are important in my life.

When they do pass, I will be sad, as you should, but I will look to the good times and the joy of knowing these people with this idea in mind.

Memento Mori takes something destructive like death and turns it into a beautiful part of our daily lives, even something to embrace, not fear.

Memento Mori helps you prioritize what matters while reminding you that time is finite.

Each day you know that sitting on the sidelines of life is not the right thing to do.

You start to see time differently.

You want to do more with your time.
You see less value in things that don’t serve you.
You see less value in wasting months and years drifting.

It gives you the courage to take on bigger challenges, as you know time is not on your side.

Many people say they need the motivation to be more productive.

When I 1st start thinking about this concept daily, I can tell you it certainly puts things into perspective.

What is more motivating than understanding that your own personal clock is constantly ticking down?

Use Memento Mori each day to help you improve.

Take time to realize that everyone around you will die, and your time is finite.

Then take action to use your time well today and every day.

You won’t regret it.

“Hurry up and live.”

Seneca

Think of how you can remind yourself that your time is short.

I carry a $1 coin that was minted the year I was born.

I know each time I look at that coin, it will probably still be around many years after I am gone; that brings a smile to my face and reminds me to love and take action today.

This has helped shift my mindset immensely — I hope you, too, will find this idea useful in your life.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Big love,
ST

Episode 24:  12 Rules for creating great days

Welcome to the SPS Podcast.

How do you have good days? 12 guidelines that will increase the effectiveness of your days.

Main Quote:

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “God laid down this law, saying: If you want some good, get it from yourself.”

Main Takeaways:

For many years, I have pulled together a list of life rules or guidelines to help me daily.

I have 12 of them that I update every year.

They are systems I lean on and key reminders for me.

To stay anchored to who I want to be.

You can use my 12 to help build your own.

1) Find space and time daily to meditate, breathe, and say thank you for my life.

2) Avoid confrontations – look for ways around – by stepping back or asking good questions, a good question can always defuse a misunderstanding.

3) Find room each day to move – from walks to full workouts; each day needs a release of energy to create more energy.

4) Everything that happens to you, Good or Bad, is your personal responsibility, 100%; there is no other way.

5) Look for, follow, and find momentum in your life. Action creates more action; follow that flow.

6) Protect your growth mindset (live in gratitude). Every situation provides you with a chance to grow, learn, and adapt.

7) Read, learn, and grow each day. Just don't leave your growth to life experience; find good sources of knowledge to consume daily.

8) Talking with yourself in a journal can improve your day. Even if it is just a sentence, write something down daily.

9) You don’t always need your phone to be on or with you. Disconnect daily; your brain will thank you.

10) Always look for ways to give back and share; all boats rise from the incoming tide.

11) Live from the heart – think with the head but trust your gut. Listen to your intuition; you can tap into this more by following rules 1, 3, 7 and 8

12) Protect your morning routine, evening routine, and your sleep. Sleep is your number one asset; protect it and your energy by having strong routines before and after it.

When you look at your 12 rules daily, you frame your mind for the day.

You take actions aligned with your best version of who you want.

Kickstart your days and improve your chances of success by creating your own list of 10 to 12 life rules.

You won't regret it.

Stephen links:

Get your Free Pattern//Breaker WorkBook:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/patternbreaker

Download the Pattern//Breaker Workbook + Email Coaching to Rebuild Identity & Take Focused Action in Under 90 Days

✅ Get clarity on your hidden resistance (with AI-powered prompts)
✅ Build a 90-day plan grounded in identity, not hustle
✅ Shift from “knowing” to “doing” in one afternoon

Visit the website:

https://www.stephentimoney.com/

Follow me here:

Twitter

LinkedIn

Big love,
ST