862.800.7850

Ever walked out of a courtroom thinking, “What just happened in there?”
You told the truth. You stayed calm. You presented your evidence — and somehow, the judge still didn’t get it.

If that sounds like you, this episode is your reality check — and your roadmap out.

In this episode, Tracey Bee, breaks down one of her most important strategies: reframing.

Because in family court, it’s not just what you say — it’s how you say it, how you think about it, and how you present it that determines whether the judge actually listens (and believes) you.

💡 What You’ll Learn:

• Why family court doesn’t care about your emotions — and what it does care about
• How to use reframing to shift your narrative and credibility in front of a judge
• The difference between reaction and strategy — and how one wins cases
• How “victim language” and emotional framing can hurt your credibility
• Real-life examples of reframes that turn frustration into persuasion
• Why professionals in court mirror your tone, language, and logic
• How to prepare mentally before your next hearing

Episode timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(01:41) Today’s Topic: Reframing 

(02:34) Why “Truth + Calm” Still Fails in Court 

(03:34) Emotions, Trauma & Hypersensitivity 

(04:09) Courts Don’t Weigh Emotions—Logic Reigns 

(06:27) Custody Timeline: Why You’re Not “Done” Yet 

(08:45) Your Narrative Sets the Tone (“Best Interest” Myth) 

(10:07) Reaction vs. Strategy 

(11:25) The Underdog Reality: Courtroom Dynamics 

(15:30) Unhelpful Frames to Drop (Victim, Blame, Defensive) 

(18:16) Reframe #1: “Judge Doesn’t Care About Truth” → Tailor Your Story 

(19:22) Reframe #2: “They’re Turning the Kids Against Me” → Describe Changes Factually 

(20:08) Reframe #3: “Court Ignores My Evidence” → Pick Persuasive Exhibits 

(20:39) Practice & Role-Play Offers 

(22:14) Reframe #4: “My Lawyer Didn’t Fight” → Fix the Gaps 

(23:33) Reframe #5: “The System Is Unfair” → Accept, Adapt, Act 

(26:38) Outro 

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

Tracey Bee breaks down how to turn court rulings, whether wins, losses, or partial decisions, into strategic data points you can actually use to finally move your case forward.

She explains how to read between the lines of your judge’s orders, spot behavioral patterns, and use those clues to predict future outcomes and strategically plot your next move.

Learn how to identify what your judge rewards, what language exposes their bias or reveals their mindset, and how to use their unfavorable rulings as strategic leverage in future filings.

And if you’re in Northern NJ, listen for details about upcoming in-person events and strategy session giveaways during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Episode timestamps

• 0:00–2:00 Intro & purpose of analyzing rulings
• 2:00–5:00 Why you must get and review every written order
• 5:00–9:00 What rulings reveal about your judge’s mindset
• 9:00–12:00 Emotional reactions vs. strategic responses
• 12:00–15:00 Reading language clues in your rulings (“cooperate,” “high conflict,” “trial recommended”)
• 15:00–18:00 How the judge perceives you vs. the other party
• 18:00–21:00 When orders are vague and why transcripts matter
• 21:00–24:00 Using rulings to detect judicial patterns and preferences
• 24:00–27:00 How to turn court intel into preemptive moves
• 27:00–29:00 Survivors, DV awareness, and regaining power in family court
• 29:00–End Closing thoughts & Domestic Violence Awareness Month call-to-action
  
  

Top takeaways (actionable)

• Always get a copy of every ruling or order. It’s your data, not just paperwork.
• Treat rulings as intel, not verdicts. They reveal patterns, biases, and the judge’s “logic system.”
• Analyze the language. Phrases like “high conflict,” “both parties must cooperate,” or “best resolved at trial” reveal the judge’s positioning and fatigue level.
• If denied, don’t react—analyze. Every denial can inform your next filing, tone, and evidence approach.
• Transcripts > Orders. Transcripts show tone, reasoning, and attitude—critical for strategy and appeals.
• Use this insight to anticipate—not react to—the court. Strategy always beats emotion.
  
  

Quick Ruling Analysis Checklist

• Get a copy of every order—never rely on memory or your attorney.
• Highlight any descriptive language (e.g., “agitated,” “cooperative,” “communication issues”).
• Note how your judge handles continuances, co

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

Tracey Bee breaks down civil vs. criminal restraining orders as it relates to Family Court issues. 

She also goes into things like why requests get denied, and how to build a stronger application if you’re self‑represented or working with counsel. 

Learn what judges need to see, how to present testimony, what evidence matters, and options if an order is denied 

And if you're in northern NJ liste  for details for a FREE in person event where she'l  be guving away free gifts, free strategy sessions and prizes. 

 

Episode timestamps

- 0:00–2:00 Intro & Domestic Violence Awareness Month  

- 2:00–9:00 Civil vs. criminal orders; why each matters  

- 9:00–13:00 Preparing to file: know the judge & local process  

- 13:00–20:00 What to prove: incident + fear; avoid misuse  

- 20:00–27:00 Best evidence & how to testify effectively  

- 27:00–32:44 Next steps, NJ event (Oct 25, Jersey City) & booking strategy sessions

- 32:26 Outro

Top takeaways (actionable)

- Prepare before you file: learn local rules, know the judge, and gather admissible evidence.  

- Prioritize police reports, medical records, time‑stamped photos/videos, credible witnesses, and authenticated messages.  

- Speak from emotion (clear, focused narrative) not with uncontrolled emotion; presentation influences judges.  

- If denied, consider alternative filings (civil vs. criminal) and use denials strategically in custody/divorce matters.  

- Contact DV advocates and observe court to identify judges who handle DV requests.

 

Quick evidence checklist

Police report(s), medical records (source of injury), time/date-stamped photos/videos, authenticated audio/screenshots, credible witnesses, CPS records (if kids involved).

 

Resources & CTA

- Book a strategy session at thedivorcesolutionist.com (store → strategy sessions).  

- NJ listeners: In-person DV Awareness Walk — Oct 25, Lincoln Park, Jersey City (15‑minute on‑site strategy sessions).  

- Visit www.thedivorcesolutionist.com for more resources.

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

Most litigants lose in Family Court for reasons they never even see coming. In this episode, I’m breaking down the hidden blind spots that can quietly sabotage your case—even when you think it’s airtight. Whether you’re representing yourself, stuck between attorneys, or even working with that so-called “bulldog” lawyer, these blind spots show up.

We’re going to talk about tunnel vision, overconfidence, misunderstanding procedure, misjudging your specific judge, underestimating opposing counsel, and even letting your emotions run the show. I’ll show you how these traps form, and more importantly, how you can close them before they destroy your case.

You’ll also hear why pages of receipts don’t equal a strategy, how two cases that look the same on paper can require totally different approaches, and why I always say Family Court is 80% strategy and only 20% law or procedure. I’ll give you practical fixes you can start using this week—how to research your state’s procedural rules, how to read your judge’s preferences, ways to anticipate your opponent’s next move, and how to keep your emotions in check so your strategy stays sharp.

📍 Episode Timeline

• 00:00 — Welcome + why blind spots sink even “airtight” cases
• 01:00 — Out-leveled: when judges & opponents play chess while you play checkers
• 02:05 — Why receipts, texts, and docs ≠ strategy
• 03:05 — Tunnel vision & overconfidence with “bulldog” attorneys
• 05:10 — Emotional bias & framing the wrong problem
• 06:20 — Blind Spot #1: Procedural (deadlines, discovery, judge quirks)
• 08:45 — Rules vs. reality: exceptions and courtroom variability
• 09:55 — Blind Spot #2: Opponent/Opposing Counsel (anticipation is strategy)
• 11:40 — What good lawyers should do—and when to fire one
• 12:35 — Blind Spot #3: Emotional (regulation before cognition)
• 13:40 — Blind Spot #4: Strategy (why plans flip and whiplash)
• 15:55 — How to fix procedural gaps with research & AI (the right way)
• 18:05 — Closing the Judge Gap: observation, proxies, paid intel
• 19:55 — Closing the Opponent Gap: patterns, PI-mindset, social data
• 21:00 — Closing the Emotional Gap: therapy, support, mindfulness, routine
• 22:10 — Closing the Strategy Gap with my ADVOCATE Method
• 23:20 — Why 80% of family court is strategy (and how to use that)
• 24:00 — Call to action + how to connect with me

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

 Welcome back to Self-Represented in Family Court! In this Season 3 opener, Tracey Bee (your host, former family law attorney, mediator, and strategist) sets the stage for the most empowering season yet. After a summer of building new tools, connecting with advocates, and expanding her nonprofit, Tracey is ready to dive into fresh conversations on empowerment, strategy, technology, and advocacy for self-represented litigants.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• Why empowerment is the theme of Season 3, and how it can shift your case and mindset.
• The hard truths about Family Court, the bias, dysfunction, and injustice, and why you can’t afford to “just give up.”
• A new spiritual component incorporated into her work as a strategist which will help restore faith.
• Sneak peek into guest features: vetted professionals, proactive litigants, and maybe even retired judges.
• Special announcements:
  • Free AI Workshop – How to Use AI to Beat the Rigged Family Court System (Sept 24 @ 6PM EST via Zoom).
  • VIP Add-On ($77) – Limited to 10 spots, with live Q&A, exclusive tools, and course discounts.
  • Wednesday Office Hours – Free calls with Tracey (9:30AM–4PM EST).

Episode Timeline

• 00:00 – 01:00 | Welcome back! Why strategy is everything.
• 01:00 – 03:00 | Season 3 focus: empowerment + tools for self-represented litigants.
• 03:00 – 07:00 | Why giving up is not an option (Tracy’s NYC fighter mindset).
• 07:00 – 10:00 | Spiritual and practical practices for staying grounded.
• 10:00 – 13:00 | New this season: guest appearances from vetted professionals & pro se advocates.
• 13:00 – 21:00 | Big announcement: Free AI workshop + $77 VIP add-on.
• 21:00 – 23:00 | Wednesday Office Hours: free strategy calls for new voices.
• 23:00 – 26:00 | Call to action: Subscribe, share with 10 people, and suggest future topics.

This season is about empowerment, persistence, and practical strategy. If you’re pro se—or even represented but want to be more proactive, you’ll find hope and hardcore strategy here.

🔗 Sign up for the free AI Workshop here: https://attractwell.com/TheDivorceSolutionist/page/using-ai-to-beat-a-rigged-family-court-system 

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

In this insightful episode your host, Tracey Bee, founder of The Divorce Solutionist, former family law attorney, and your go-to pro se strategist — pulls back the curtain on one of the most misunderstood tools in the family court system: mediation. 

Though often seen as a peaceful alternative to litigation, mediation is not a guaranteed fix especially for self-represented litigants. With her trademark candor and deep legal insight, Tracey shares why strategy must be at the core of every mediation attempt, and how blindly entering into mediation could cost you more than you realize — financially, emotionally, and in terms of your case outcomes. 

From cost myths to hidden risks, Tracey emphasizes the importance of knowing your why, having a strategic plan, and vetting your mediator just as carefully as you would a lawyer. Whether you’re court-mandated to try mediation or considering it as a conflict-resolution tool, this episode will reshape how you view the entire process. 

Key Topics Covered: 

• Why Tracey supports mediation — when used strategically
• Common misconceptions: Mediation isn't always faster or cheaper
• When mediation isn’t the right move
• Real talk: $20,000+ mediation bills and what went wrong
• How to vet a mediator and prepare like a pro
• Mediation in co-parenting: setting the stage for long-term collaboration
• Why the “cost-saving” narrative doesn’t always apply to pro se litigants
• Strategy first: How to use mediation to set yourself up for success — not more conflict
• The different types of mediators and why credentials matter
• Power imbalances, DV history, and red flags to watch for

Tracey’s Takeaway:
You don’t need to avoid mediation — but you do need to approach it with clarity, preparation, and a game plan. Pro se doesn’t mean powerless — it means you need to be even more intentional.

🎧 Tune in now and learn how to make mediation work for you — not against you.

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

The family court battlefield can feel overwhelming, but in this episode, Tracey Bee is arming you with a secret weapon: workarounds. Designed for pro se litigants and anyone looking to take charge of their case, we’re unpacking clever, strategic alternatives to navigate the system without breaking the bank or losing your sanity. Fresh off last week’s deep dive into divorce professionals, Tracy shifts gears to show you how to sidestep—or supplement—those costly services with practical, game-changing solutions.

We’ll cover: 

• Workarounds for attorneys—like limited-scope roles, mediation, or document preparers  
• Budget-friendly alternatives to forensic accountants, from DIY financial sleuthing to affordable apps  
• Sidestepping guardian’s ad litem or custody evaluators with solid evidence and smart prep  
• Co-parenting hacks that don’t require pricey coordinators (hint: mindset matters)  
• How to leverage free resources, from financial literacy webinars to online tools like Glassdoor  

With over two decades of family law wisdom, Tracey delivers actionable tips to boost your confidence and control, whether you’re dodging exorbitant fees or outsmarting courtroom curveballs. Plus, snag her free PDF workaround checklist/guide by emailing [email protected] or [email protected]—your roadmap to staying strategic and empowered.

Episode Chapters:

• Introduction - 00:00
• Recap of Previous Episode: Divorce Professionals - 00:54
• Workarounds for Self-Represented Litigants - 02:46
• Cost-Effective Alternatives to Legal Professionals - 06:47
• Exploring Therapy Alternatives - 16:11
• Real Estate and Vocational Evaluations - 18:30
• Co-Parenting Strategies and Mindset Shifts - 21:39
• Custody Evaluations - 24:13

Tune in now, grab a notebook, and get ready to kick ass in family court with Tracey by your side.

Need more information on how I can help you? Feel free to schedule a FREE 15 min call at www.calendly.com/divorcecoachesq/15min

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

In this compelling episode of Self-Represented in Family Court, host Tracey Bee —the only pro se family court strategist — dives into a transformative topic: Artificial Intelligence and its potential in the hands of self-represented litigants. Tracey breaks down how AI is being used across legal professions, but more importantly, how you, the pro se litigant, can ethically and effectively leverage AI to empower your case. From drafting motions to organizing evidence and strategizing with clarity, AI is a tool, not a replacement for your own critical thinking and preparation.

You’ll also hear about Tracey’s upcoming AI for Family Court Workshop on May 21st at 6 PM EST, where she’ll guide attendees through real-world applications and pitfalls of AI in the courtroom.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why AI matters for self-represented litigants
• The limitations of AI in legal strategy
• Risks of submitting AI-generated content without disclosure
• Ethical considerations and transparency in court documents
• How to use AI to:
  
  
  • Draft and edit legal documents
  • Summarize discovery materials
  • Organize evidence and create timelines
  • Clarify legal terminology
• The human touch: Why AI is just a tool, not the driver
• Why Tracey trusts ChatGPT (and what others like Claude & Gemini are better at)

Workshop Info:

Topic: AI in Family Court – How to Use it the Right Way
 Date: May 21, 2025
 Time: 6 PM EST
 Cost: $37 (upgrade for $99 for a custom AI strategy session)
 Limited seats. No legal advice will be given.

Be Part of the Workshop – Sign Up Now! 

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

If you've just been served, don’t panic—know what to look for. In this episode, Tracey B breaks down the essential elements to examine when you receive a legal document, motion, or petition in a family court case. 

Whether you're the petitioner or respondent, it's critical to understand the procedural, factual, and substantive grounds on which motions are built. Tracey walks you through the top things to watch out for to protect your rights and respond effectively—especially if you're representing yourself in court. 

We’ll discuss: 
 ✅ The importance of reviewing the court caption for accuracy
 ✅ How to identify whether a motion is procedural or substantive
 ✅ Strategic ways to buy time when errors are found
 ✅ When to consider a legal consultation (and when you might not need one)
 ✅ How to spot misleading or irrelevant “evidence” in attached exhibits
 ✅ Why emotional manipulation is common—and how to stay focused 

🎧 Tune in now and learn how to audit legal documents like a pro so you don’t miss critical deadlines or fall for common courtroom tricks. 

Support the show

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.

862.800.7850

 Are you a business owner, freelancer, or 1099 contractor navigating divorce without a lawyer? In this episode of Self-Represented in Family Court, Tracey B. dives into the unique challenges—and real opportunities—for self-employed individuals handling their own divorce or custody cases.

Whether you're running an LLC, consulting on the side, or juggling multiple streams of income, this conversation is for YOU. Tracey breaks down how your financial structure impacts your divorce, what documents you must have ready, and how to shift your business mindset into legal strategy mode. 

 📌 Topics covered: 

✅ When being Pro Se does and doesn't make sense 

✅ Mindset shifts needed for business owners going through divorce

✅ Key legal and financial documents to organize

✅ How to protect your credibility and assets without a lawyer 

✅ The truth about representing yourself in high-conflict divorce situations

Whether you’re just starting to think about divorce or already deep in the process, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you make informed decisions.

🎧 Tune in now and learn how to get the right support for your journey.

Support the show 

Support the show

Family Court can be traumatic! And trying to handle your case on your own can be even more catastrophic. There are twists & turns at every stage that you need to be aware of and to prepare for. Having a solid Gameplan and someone to help you execute it effectively can make all the difference in the Universe (not just the world.) We know all about the bias, corruption, and dysfunction being handed out by the system. We just want you to have a fighting chance by leveling the playing field.

Need help in handling your Family Court case on your own?

We have services that are specifically geared toward helping self-represented litigants like you understand the common mistakes that lead to the most disappointing outcomes.

To find out more about our services and to stay informed of our FREE workshops by joining our email & visit us at www.TheDivorceSolutionist.com.