Glass Onions, baby! It's the UBP's third annual (note the TWO "n"'s and a "u", you grotty kids) Beatles March Madness! This week, we begin the Journey (#whenthelightsgodowninthecitay) to naming the official, Apple/Calderstone/Odeon/Ring'o Records 7th Beatle!

This year, for what feels like the very first time, the field is all musicians; and Tony, T.J., and our very own Tim Donaghy, Producer Casey, have some tough life decisions to make! Among them:

🎸 Is Beatlemania's Tom Teeley straight up more important to The Beatles than Linda, George, and original/best (of the) Beatles drummer Jimmie Nicol, combined?

🎸 Did Beatlemania's Tom Teeley invent the music video? Or just the now-wildly popular subset of music videos featuring extended tripping-on-bodega-fruit takes?

🎸 I just bet $20k on FanDuel that Beatlemania's Tom Teeley is gonna f'ing win this thing. I'll kill you bozos if I lose, do you f'ing hear me? And no, overly accessible legal gambling is definitely not f'ing up sports! Also, I'm sweating profusely. From the cocaine.

Life's too short! So you'd better back off, because it's Beatles March Madness! Stay tuned next for your late local news. Then, don't miss Martin Mull in the hilarious, new, can't miss, 1984 comedy, "Domestic Life". Only on (this is) CBS!

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