Since Xmashanukkwanza has been an ongoing celebration since late September, we here at the UPB have already spent all of our allotted giving spirit for 2024 (#ThanksObama). Therefore it’s time to focus on what we WANT to RECEIVE from The Beatleverse in the years to come. So this week, Crimbledee and Crimbledum list off all the major contenders on their fab wishlists, while leaving these remaining items for future wishlists:

🧊“Now and Then” Then and Now Commemorative Scrapbook Vault. A crafty 12’x12’ cube to warmly display all of your “Now and Then” 100+ coloured 7”, 10”, 12” vinyls, posters, t-shirts, keychains, beach towels, cuckoo clocks, handcuffs, luxury camping gear (including bug zappers!), weather balloons and other assorted “Now and Then“ ephemera!

🫘 The Royal Mint in conjunction with Heinz Beans presents: Ringo Starr Edible Schilling Legumes in a deliciously “rich” tomato sauce. Make your farts work for you!

🌧️ “Rain/ Paperback Writer” Reversible Drizzle Parka* and Bookmark**

*not recommended for rain

Plus a pint-size review of Elliot Mintz’s new  book about John Lennon!

Fabby Holidays from the Untitled Beatles Podcast!

T.J., Tony, Producer Casey, and P3Z-Nutz

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George Harrison's tribute to Smokey Robinson, "When Smokey Sings", isn't just Rob Sheffield's favourite solo Beatles tune. The Motown legend, arguably best known for covering "So Bad", is a huge part of "Beatles '64", the Mouse's latest entry in the world of Beatles documentaries.

1964 is THE seminal year in Beatles history, so surely this Scorcese-produced doc provides a comprehensive look at the full year? Clearly, the talking heads are relevant and used sparingly? Obviously, this release comes in concert with expanded, cleaned up footage improving on what we all really want, a reissued "The First U.S. Visit"?

Our own Medved and (Mister) Roeper explore the highs and lows of yet another Beatles holiday gift, and along the way they ask:

📆 If Leonard Bernstein discusses "She Said She Said" in "Beatles '64", should Dave Grohl and Questlove discuss "Now And Then" in "Beatles '67"?

💿 Why did director David Tedeschi opt to open with a whispery YouTube cover of "All My Loving" over one of Tears for Fears' celebrated Depeche Mode covers?

📓 If this doc was trying to attract a younger audience, how come it didn’t include an interview with Matt Gaetz?

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Right around Thanksgiving (the American one, THE ONLY ONE), the Material World got a whole lot more material! The Harrison estate graciously reintroduced one of George’s most acclaimed records to the world; via a sparkling, glorious Paul Hicks remix in honor of its’ (approximately, infinite) 50th anniversary. There are many iterations of this current reissue, as Beatleworld continues its transition from “marketing exclusively for the masses” to “marketing primarily for boomers with loads of disposable cash”.

In arguably the greatest national tragedy of 2024, Theater Tony (The Annoyance) and Theatre T.J. ("Madonna: The Musical") could only afford the 2-LP/streaming version of this title. (Producer Casey, please put an “awwwww” drop here. K? Then do it, damn it!) But fear not! The guys delve into this reissue with their usual panache, like a couple of panache-holes, but also find the holiday spirit to ask other hard questions, like:

🎤 What’s the Kim Deal with Seinfeld?

👺🚽 Does the deluxe remix archive crate gnome edition of “Living In The Material World” come with a skibidi toilet?

🚪 If Krishna showed up to Ed McMahon’s house, would McMahon hand him a cartoonishly large check and then bellow in his face, “you are correct, sir?”

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This week, T.J., Tony, Casey, and P3Z-Nutz all gather round the cornucopia at Untitled Beatles HQ to reflect for just a moment on all the fab fortunes 2024 has brought to Beatledom, while saving a little room for the requisite holiday grievances.

Fun and turkey tomfoolery abound, and we are grateful to get to share the table with all of you.

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This week, we gotta get back in time. Back to 2022, when a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and edible-influenced T.J. and Tony ripped through Teej’s brand new box set of the 7” Macca Singles, joined by their close (and possibly hallucinated) friends P3Z-Nutz, Mrs. Vandebilt, and Uncle Pecos.

Will they make it all the way through the bonus test (your patience) pressing of 4 random songs from Liverpool Oratorio? Pop in your earbuds and a coupla your favorite Macca Snacks, and you might just find out.

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You got a problem with me, guy?

What about The Beatles, you don't got a problem with them, right? Because some of their songs, depending who you ask, are pretty darn problematic. Where's Jerry Falwell when you need him? Oh, yeah, dead! He Gone!!! 🥰

Tony and T.J. attempt very hard to get cancelled as they debate which Beatles songs are, to quote Lindsey Buckingham, Trouble; as they discuss their unique and very real compilations of Problematic Beatles Songs.

Along the way, Tony, T.J., and stone cold early 90s Miami DJ legend - nepotism alert! - DJ Double DJ, discuss these dirty, Murica hatin songs and also ask:

🤡 Is Matt Gaetz's favorite song, "I Saw Her Standing There"? Because, she was just 17? #GaetzyPuckett

👸 (Our Chicago friend at the bar. It's 3pm, he hasn't showered in a bit, and he just called the RC Cola delivery guy "Ozzie Guillen, Jr.") "How come Queen and Fred McMercury stole that big butts song from the Beatles and then Sir Mix A A Lot made a rap song about it? And how come rap music don't go away,  so I can feel comfortable again??"

🥛🎙️ If one man makes another man "spit on his microphone", is it probably at Matt Gaetz's house?

Not everyone gets lip serviced. Like, have you ever been lip serviced, pal?Being lip serviced, also known as “paying someone lip service” is when someone talks about you. For example, “Donald T****p once paid his daughter 💋Ivanka💋 lip service when he literally joked about wanting to date her on the Howard Stern show”. But it’s not usually that creepy or gross, in fact it’s often a compliment, like the many songs that feature a direct mention of The Beatles, in every generation and genre of music.

This week, Tony & T.J., as reproduced for podcast by Producer Casey, delve into some of their favorite (and least favorite) songs that mention The Beatles. They also wonder, aloud, because it’s a podcast…

🚨 Would “Kids Incorporated” have been a more interesting show if it was called “Kids Incarcerated”?

😴 Are Rod Rogers and Rick Astley the Dream Academy and Beatles of their respective eras? And why are you acting like you don’t know what that means, are you ok?

⛵️Who can say where the road goes? Where the day flows? And who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose? And, is this a joke or just lazily quoting Enya?

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In case you need it, here's last week's Songs for Times of Trouble playlist.

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For anyone with a pulse - and/or a mint copy of the Pink Floyd CD with a still-functioning blue light - Beatles music makes life better. The Fab 4 (or 5, depending where one sits with Sir Jimmie Nicol) were imperfect men, who created mostly perfect music; “12 Bar Original” and “Sie Liebt Dich”, notwithstanding. Despite their very human flaws and contradictions, they sought to communicate light and love through their remarkable music, lyrics, and an unmatched accessibility to every generation and background.

In mere hours, America [F**K YEAH!] will decide our next president. Regardless of one’s political leanings, it’s a stressful time ‘round here. And, when we find ourselves in times of trouble, many of us rely on Beatles music to soothe, entertain, inspire, and fulfill us. Those who don’t are probably d-bags, and it’s best to cancel them. #PeaceAndLove

Even though entertainers should absolutely stay in their lane and SHUT THEIR PIE HOLES about politics (looking at you, Chachi! And especially you, longtime host of NBC’s “The Apprentice”!), this week’s UBP focuses on favorite, optimistic music from the Beatles world that serves to inspire Tony & T.J. on the eve of this precarious moment in American history. Plus, there’s many insider-y, beltway-adjacent questions posed by our own Nate Silver and Nate Gold (#YukonCornelius #SoulTrain), as we also ask:

🤠 How many voters will be swayed by the effects of inflation on the pre-order price of Ringo’s new country + western cassette tape?

🦋 Is there a better chance MPL will release a Deluxe Archive Collection reissue of Ringo’s two versions of “Wings” before actually reissuing Wings “London Town” or Wings “Back To The Egg”? And will there ever be two versions of “Two Virgins”?

💉 Is the $80 vinyl of Sean’s “Mind Games: The Meditation Mixes” the RFK Jr. of Beatles re-issues? 

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If you're anything like us, you might want to bookmark this playlist.

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A book can take you anywhere…

…Out to sea on a vengeful hunt for a fierce white whale…Trapped on a stalled train car solving the grisly murder of a fellow passenger…Madly pacing at a record retailer, deciding whether or not to purchase a Leon Russell Christmas LP because it’s on green vinyl…

That last scenario hasn’t been published yet, and those pretentious snobs over at Simon & Schuster won’t accept unsolicited submissions. Same goes for Penguin. And the dorks at HarperCollins. And the jerks at Random House. And Macmillan. And The Hachette Book Group…

That’s why this week, per another fab listener suggestion, T.J. and Tony are taken to 1960s Great Britain, where they discuss some of their favorite Beatles books.

Were this episode to be optioned into a page turning best seller, these would be some of the chapters:

🎙️💀 Other Podcasts Who Shall Not Be Named

🏃‍♀️🏠 Begrudging Appreciation For “She’s Leaving Home”

📚⛽️ Recommended Reading At Gas Stations

💿🏙️ Reckless Records Locations in Chicago 1988-1993

🚫🍊 Incorrect Pronunciations of “Pomelo”

If this all sounds boring to you, bring a book!

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In 2003, The Redwalls, a really good band hailing from Chicago suburb Deerfield, IL kicked off their album “Universal Blues” by encouraging a “Colorful Revolution”; in a most Beatle-esque Banger fashion.

By coincidence (?), a mere 31 years earlier, there was a colorful “Daytime Revolution” as John, Yoko, and friends took over a week’s worth of “The Mike Douglas Show” - a.k.a. the guy all of us, if we’re being honest, initially confused/conflated with “The Dick Cavett Show”.

This new, soon-to-stream documentary examines these historic episodes, and had a brief in-theaters showing on what would’ve been John’s 84th birthday. Tony saw the film solo in Chicago suburb Glenview, IL, as T.J. handled the un-related, un-paid improv rehearsal many miles from his home - and even further from #GlenviewsFamousDawgPark. The result is a new-ish phase Beatles podcast, reproduced for streaming by Producer Casey. Roll up for this special UBP field trip, an aural journey (cue: “Faithfully”) of Tony documenting a documentary, as documentary commentary from T.J. documents Tony’s documentary commentary of the documentary's documentary commentary.

ALSO: The UBP’s Medved + (Helen) Roeper ask:

🔥🏡 Does a movie with too many talking heads stop making sense? Or does it get nothing but flowers? Is Wings Wild Life > Wild Wild Life? Sick Byrne, qu’est-ce que c'est?

⚾️📻 (Chicago guy - a Sox fan, but he doesn’t hate the Cubs; only Wrigleyville and their fans, and maybe he has a point): “How come the unique single mix of Steve Goodman’s “Go Cubs Go” - pressed, my friendt, on WGN Records! - ain’t been made available anywhere else since the original 45? Maybe Dean Richards will return one of my many handwritten letters and tell me what exactly woke WGN is trying to hide?

🥪 Would former American Idol Reuben Studard have been more successful if he’d been slathered in extra 1000 Island and better swiss?

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