When did the news become so awful?

That was more of a rhetorical question, but you’re 100% correct. It was 2015. So after 10 YEARS of doom-scrolling our collective souls (#shine) into a revolting, malodorous tarpit of human despair (access to misery included for a small monthly surcharge), how can the news be worth our time?

A: When it’s SUMMER BEATLE NEWS!!! That’s why this week T.J. and Tony catch up on a romantic hammock and muse freely on the latest from the Land of Fab. And as they sway to the calm breezes of the Beatleverse, it rocks them to sleep #FileUnderRock, conjuring delightful afternoon visions…

🛋️ Settling into his fireside armchair, T.J. enjoys an aperitif of Martini & Rossi while cracking into the 26-Volume Encyclopedia of Press To Play by Luca Perasi, with foreword by Danny Zuko from Grease.

🐐 At a White Hen Pantry, Tony tries a new slushie flavor: Lemon Twig, which elicits an acute case of brain freeze. Channeling Sexy Sadie, he recites a MANTRA OF THE COSMOS, and hovers above a display of various Ringo reissues from the 00s. In his trancelike state, Tony pitches/pesters the clerk about selling “Tom Green-flavored condoms”…for GOATS!

🍺 It’s last call at Ratcatcher’s Tavern. There, leaning on the edge of the bar like it’s his only friend (it is), the Angry Drunk Chicago guy launches into his latest Ted Talk:

HEY IF HE’S SO SMART HOW KUM DAT MEATHEAD ROB REINERSDORF WASN’T IN DA MOVIE ABOUT MEATBALLS?? (belch) YA KNOW... (fart) DOZ MURRAY BRUTHERSSS OWE ME BIG TIME. CUZ GHOSTBUTLERS WUZ MY IDEA...

And out of nowhere, a Vaudeville cane removes him from the frame…

Scroll up for the Untitled Beatles Summer News Extravaganza!!!

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Maybe, just maybe, "Yesterday"...And Today, was a modern-day Robin Hood (Men In Tights). Sure it stole from the rich, in this case, the U.K. "Revolver". But it also gave to the poor, in this case, American Baby Boomers, whose dreams would eventually be crushed under the weight of their own selfish interests from a life unfulfilled.

Anyhoo! The Gab 2 dissect this essential Capitol album, and butcher both facts and myths as they discuss it and more, like:

🗑 If you're a Sanford, and your son isn't in trash, are you super pissed?

🌫 When did Tony become such an expert on pricey London Town neighborhoods?

🍎 Will the deluxe reissue of Dark Horse include the rare demo of George's quite personal raga, "Goiter In His Gut"?

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Bill Miller isn’t just Texas’ fastest growing BBQ joint this side of that one suburban Manila Kenny Rogers Roasters. No, sir/ma’am! Once upon a time, Bill Miller traded in his Texas, wet-rub BBQ stained hands to prepare something better and more culturally significant than chick’n: a U.S. Beatles album!

Longtime Capitol butcher Dave Dexter was (allegedly) too busy running Nixon’s campaign to assemble a Beatles album comprised of songs left-over from the British albums “Help”, “Rubber Soul”, and ripped from the not yet released “Revolver”. So that job fell to Bill Miller, the fast-growing Texas BBQ joint. HEARD OF IT, LIB? #Freedumb

And in the process, the infamous - yet famously fun-to-spin - final U.S. capitol album of “new” material was released: Yesterday…And Today. (a.k.a. “Yesterday...And Today” for you cassette freaks! We see you! We are you!)

This week, Tony & T.J. begin a deep dish of this classic, million selling Beatles album, which was unavailable and out of print from 1992-2014. Along the way, they ask the questions that only two guys with this much weirdo time on their hands would ask, like:

🐭 (Angry Drunk Chicago Friend - he’s mad because none of youz bought a new shirt with his mug on it yet, they’re available on Tee Public or the UBP website you jagbags): How come Disney’s too woke to let me learn how to make an AI of Minnie Mouse singing “A Wank Is A Wink Your Fart Makes”?

🍔 Where’s Herb? And where’s Herb’s beef?

🍻 Do Redneck White Sox fans drink (Pabst) Blue Ribbon beer before they beat the daylights out of a defenseless, elderly first base coach?

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“Nevermind”. “Ten Summoners Tales“. “The Backbeat Soundtrack”. Sensing a theme here, fellow alt-rocker?

Perhaps more than any other record not named “The River Of Dreams", these three albums are at the very heart of the alt rock/grunge/post-chillwave scene. Going to Metro in 1994? Better bring your cassingle of “Fields Of Barley”. Because at Metro, they don’t take American Express.

And yet, of all the great grunge albums, none is grungier than the motion picture soundtrack of “Backbeat”.

Was (not was) that a little too much? Cut me some slack! The Backbeat Soundtrack really does have some of the early 90’s most notable alt rockers, tearing through a selection of early rock standards that the pilled-up, live Beatles once adored. This week, Tony & T.J. travel back to a time when the world was still mourning the painful assassination of “Cheers”, and ask about Backbeat:

Does the soundtrack hold up? Did it ever? Did Wilson Phillips hold on for one more day? Is our angry Chicago friend still upset that they closed the Phillips gas station on Wilson in 1982? AND HOW COME CHANNEL 9 STOPPED RUNNING “PHYLLIS” IN STRIP SYNDICATION ON WEEKDAY AFTERNOONS, IS CLORIS LEACHMAN’S TONED ARMS TOO WOKE FOR SKILLING? And is one full-length paragraph of questions the new format going forward for these blurbs? I mean, does anyone even read these? If so, stay tuned all holiday weekend to Appleton’s Home For F**K Rock, WFUK, 96.69 FM. Kathy and Judy will return, in oil, after these words from the Sheboygan County Correctional Center and Drive Thru.

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1994 proved to be one of the most fertile years for Beatles-inspired filmmaking. The titles of cinematic classics either directly about The Beatles (“The Secret Of Roan Inish”, “Blue Chips”) or clearly inspired by their music (“Ski School 2”, “Wesley Snipes’ Sugar Hill”) were ’94’s dominant cultural and commercial hits. (Yeah, go ahead and f off, “The Air Up There”.)

Perhaps the most notable fab film from that year was “Backbeat”, which focused primarily on Stuart Stucliffe’s brief but incredibly/debatably important tenure as a Beatle. What does the film get right? What does it get terribly, offensively wrong? How do Beatles (and cinema, damn it) EXPERTS Tony & T.J. feel the film holds up on its’ 31st anniversary? (Forgot about that milestone, huh, Calderstone/Polydor??) The Gab Two deep dish “Backbeat”, and more, including:

🤜 Before he became a brilliant artist and bassist, was Klaus Voormann an eminently punchable German street urchin?

🍻 (Angry Chicago guy:) How come the fellas who wrote the musical “Hair” didn’t make no song about R.E.M. bass player Mike Mills? And how come The Lemonheads didn’t fix that when they had the chance? And how come the White Sox ain’t got no more dollar beer nights, why don’t Steve Dahl do something?

🐓 Would there even be a Hooters without “Backbeat?” And does that make The Beatles technically responsible for Hooters? Or vice versa? Like, could there even BE a Beatles without Hooters, man? Why are you so afraid to consider all opinions?

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One of the darkest days for the UBP was in May 1990, when Vic Tayback, a.k.a. Mel on CBS’ “Alice”, left this earth; and perhaps others. Despite taking place literal decades before the UBP began, Mr. Tayback’s death caused a deep level of pain that has us forever kissing our own grits.

Flash forward to June, 2025. Another entertainment hero is gone - one arguably bigger than Mr. Tayback - who helped define American music in the 1960’s, and inspired Paul McCartney and The Beatles to reach arguably their greatest artistic heights.* (*Does not include “Now And Then”.)

Indeed, the incredibly sad passing of Brian Wilson was felt deeply by the Gab Two; longtime Beach Boys fans who, in this episode, pay tribute to one of Macca’s undying inspirations. Along the way, they also ask:

💔 F'k Mike Love, yeah?

🍸 Is it ironic that “Kokomo” tends to be the #1 Brian Wilson-penned song for people who openly voted for/support fascism?

🏄‍♂️ Did T.J. actually mean to refer to the milquetoast Beach Boys cover of “California Dreamin” from the 1986 compilation “Made In U.S.A.” when he mentioned “Rock & Roll Music”?

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John Lennon literally said it best: "All You Need Is Love: The Cirque Du Soleil Soundtrack, on CD in multiple editions, streaming with bonus tracks on iTunes, and on a making of DVD."

And in 2020, a younger, dumber, sadly Casey-less Gab Two gabbed fab and dished deep on this album!

Now, for the first time, here's the Deluxe Edition remaster, in 5.1 Dolby NR Cr02 Color.

See you next week with an all new episode!

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[Originally released September 19, 2020]

In this episode of Pizza Talk, T.J. and Tony get acrobatically off-topic trying to discuss The Beatles collaboration with Cirque du Soleil. It contains 101 local Chicago references.

We think this episode will sell a lot of tickets for the Vegas show.

What’s your Favourite Beatles Cover, Art? Or, more generally, for those listeners not named Art, what’s your Favourite Beatles Cover Art? There are seemingly endless global 7” and 12” covers from which to choose. Despite all but a small few ever being authorized by the Fabs, a good many are iconic, super weird, or a mesmerizing combination of both.

Loyal listener and Patreon member Mick B brought us this great suggestion, inspired by the live-performance photo on the cover of “The Beatles In Italy”; which, indeed features hits by The Beatles! Just not live. Or “In Italy”. Maybe Bruce Spizer will help us sue Calderstone/Odeon for fraud???

In this episode, the Cover Two (#GOBEARS) show…and tell…and show, if you smash this link for our WORLD PREMIERE SHOW VIDEO, their Favourite Beatles Cover Art. Along the way, they ask the hard hitting questions that those grotty, non-officially-Apple-authorized podcasts are too meat free Saturday, chicken-substitute-s**t to ask, like: 

📐Could AI create a geometry-inspired parody called “Oblong-Di, Oblong-Da”, and make it sound like it’s being sung by They Might Be Giants? And, both existentially and ethically, would it all be worth it?

🍆 (Angry Chicago Guy, he’s upset because he’s still unclean): “And how come Beatlefest don’t have no Beatles ASMR room no more? And how come if they did, they wouldn’t let me feel up Terri Hemmert’s copy of “Rock N’ Roll Music” to feel if the print is raised up like Diane said I can’t do no more?”

🕰 Could the front cover art for “Now & Then: The Final Beatles Song (TM)” have been so much better if only it didn’t suck?

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Look, some “Beatles podcasts” don’t have the 🏀🏀 to break into 14th-Beatle Vanessa Williams’ “Save The Breast For Last” while deep-dishing Beatles Covers.

Unfortunately, the UBP is not just any “Beatles podcast”. First off, and obviously, we’re officially authorized by #BMGDarkHorse, #CalderstoneuMe, and #Apple (Pantry on Fullerton, near Marco’s Beef).

Second, let’s change the subject and use AI to write about this collection of listener-suggested cover songs made famous by the Beatles, and re-interpreted by other artists of different genres and eras. Some argue that Beatles covers cannot be as good as the originals, but Producer Tony, Casey, P3Z-Nutz and Todd might argue differently, given their contrarian and occasionally strained attempts at unusual musical humor.

So, s’il vous plaît, faites-nous plaisir, bande de jagbags, and give a listen to our second installment of Fab Beatles Covers!

🌵🏜 Is the series finale of the Linda Lavin vehicle “Alice” better than literally every single Beatles album?

🚍 (Angry Chicago Guy. He’s drinking Kirkland-branded Malort that he brought to the bar from his sad home:) How come Petula Clark don’t come to Chicago and call herself Petula 22, like the CTA bus? Who’s she crappin’? And how come George Harrison didn’t take no selfies of his Red Line stop? And where do we burn our copies of “Plastic Ono Band” now that we got a Chicago pope?

💉 Who’s the “better” Macca Collaborator: Wix or Lennon? (Hot take: it’s Eric Stewart.)

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Dust off your funny bone (actual NBC ad copy circa 1987), it’s the long-awaited conclusion to T.J., Tony and Producer Casey’s forensic deep dish into Paul McCartney’s 1993 appearance on Saturday Night Live!

Yes, the boys are combing through every Macca performance, each Clinton-era comedy sketch, and almost every opinion... Unfortunately, Producer Casey did not inform the affiliates that we would be running over, so regularly scheduled programming resumed as planned.

Of course, any well-executed satire (like the Gap Girls sketch!) will elicit thought-provoking questions. Such as:

💰🚳 Didn’t Lorne Michaels offer Paul $3000 to not play “Biker Like An Icon”?

🥔🥔 Who made the best mall potato: The Great Steak and Potato Company or Tater Junction? #mallpotatoes

📺🏀 Why is everyone standing in front of the damn TV during the Knicks game?? WOOO-OO-OO-OO-OO….

And as a bonus, The Nerk Triplets cover some hidden extra features on T.J.’s VHS cassette tape. We’re fast-forwarding you with Peace and Love…Be kind! Rewind! 📼📼📼

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