https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/Episode-140-Self-Shame_-When-Punishing-Yourself-Feels-Like-Repentance-But-Isnt.mp3

A lot of us have learned to treat self-hatred as proof of sincerity — beating ourselves up in front of our wives, or in the privacy of our own heads, as if the depth of our misery is what makes our sorrow real. This week, Chris unpacks the difference between Judas’s self-destructive remorse and Peter’s restorative grief, names three ways self-shame disguises itself as repentance, and offers a practical alternative: trading performance for fruit — the kind of consistent, visible follow-through that actually rebuilds trust with the people we’ve hurt.

Scripture Referenced

Matthew 27:3–5 (Judas’s remorse) · Luke 22:54–62 (Peter’s denial and weeping) · John 21:15–19 (Jesus restores Peter) · 2 Corinthians 7:10–11 (godly sorrow produces action) · Luke 3:8 (“bear fruit in keeping with repentance”) · Romans 2:4 (God’s kindness leads to repentance)

Resources & Links Mentioned

Castimonia.org — Christ-centered 12-Step recovery meetings · [email protected] — send in your questions or story · The Transformational Recovery Matrix (Trapped quadrant, referenced in this episode)

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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Episode-139-The-First-Two-Seconds.mp3

After a road-rage moment with a stranger, Chris breaks down the real sequence behind every outburst — trigger, then adrenaline, then emotion, then reaction and shows how the exact same neurological hijack drives both anger and sexual temptation. This episode covers identifying what you’re really protecting when you react, building a “preloaded response” before the trigger hits, giving your body a job to interrupt the adrenaline spike, and repairing quickly instead of spiraling into shame after a failure.

Scripture referenced: Colossians 3:3 · 1 Corinthians 10:13 · Psalm 46:10 · James 1:19–20 · 1 John 1:9 · Philippians 4:6–7

Resources mentioned: Castimonia.org  ·  Dr. Jake Porter, Daring Ventures (daringventures.com)

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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Episode-138.mp3

Why do men who love God, hate their sin, and genuinely want freedom keep going back? In this episode, Chris breaks down the neuroscience behind pornography addiction — dopamine hijacking, receptor downregulation, trigger wiring, and what the first 90 days of recovery actually feel like from the inside. Then he maps it all onto the Transformational Recovery Matrix to show why behavior management (Q4) and denial (Q3) can never get you to where God is calling you. Real freedom starts with understanding what’s actually happening in your brain — and surrendering that, too.

Key Concepts:

• Dopamine and the mesolimbic reward pathway

• Receptor downregulation and anhedonia in behavioral addiction

• Neuroplasticity and cortical rewiring

• HALT framework (Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tiredness)

• Urge surfing — mindfulness-based craving intervention

• Post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS)

• Transformational Recovery Matrix — Q1 through Q4

Scripture:

• Romans 12:2 — “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind”

• Hebrews 4:15 — “Tempted in every way, yet without sin”

• 2 Corinthians 5:17 — “New creation; the old has gone, the new is here”

Links for Show Notes:

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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Episode-137-Transformation-Not-Transaction_-Romans-12-and-the-Recovery-Matrix.mp3

In this episode, Chris explores the Bible through the lens of addiction recovery and the Transformational Recovery Matrix. Drawing on themes from The Transformational Recovery Matrix, this conversation unpacks the differences between sobriety and transformation, performance and surrender, and behavior management and heart renewal.

Chris explains:

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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Episode-136-Interview-with-Chandler-from-Relay-App.mp3

What if the problem isn’t that men don’t know enough… but that they’re trying to recover alone?

In this episode of Purity Podcast, Chris sits down with Chandler from Relay (JoinRelay.app) to discuss the role of connection, vulnerability, and community in sexual addiction recovery.

Together they explore:

This conversation is honest, practical, and deeply encouraging for anyone who feels exhausted trying to fight alone.

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In this episode, Chris examines Dallas Willard’s powerful VIM framework (Vision, Intention, Means) and why many men remain stuck in pornography despite strong accountability and safeguards. Drawing on Willard’s teaching on spiritual formation, Chris explores why lasting freedom requires deeper transformation—not just behavior management. Chris then plugs this into his Transformational Recovery Matrix to show you how to see true life change.

Key Topics:

Primary Source:
Dallas Willard, Beyond Pornography: Spiritual Formation Studied in a Particular Case (University of Southern California)

Link to the original Dallas Willard Teaching: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4vUdAVjyMOdIKGpbTvJG0F?si=WSZKx46bSViE1JqFYFltEw

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Today on the Purity Podcast, Chris interviews Dana Hargus, licensed professional counselor and founder of Restore of Ada, about the deep connection between trauma, nervous-system dysregulation, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma.

This episode explores:

Learn more about Dana’s work:
Restore of Ada – https://restoreofada.com

This conversation is essential listening for addicts, spouses, and leaders who want recovery that goes deeper than behavior modification.

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What does The Hunt for Red October have in common with helping your wife through her pain? 

In this episode, we explore what it actually means to sit with your wife’s pain after betrayal, and why most men struggle to do it well.

Using the framework of CVE: Compassion, Validation, and Empathy, we look at why pain isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to enter. You’ll hear why explaining, defending, or minimizing often makes things worse, and how true empathy requires proximity, not emotional distance.

We also draw an unexpected parallel between cybersecurity incident response and marriage recovery, unpacking why ignored vulnerabilities create more damage over time—and how moving toward pain can neutralize its destructive power.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How to repair when you get CVE wrong (because you will)

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Today on the Purity Podcast, Chris is interviewing Rick Reynolds, LCSW, founder and president of AffairRecovery.com. Rick brings more than three decades of clinical experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of infidelity, along with the weight and credibility of his own story of betrayal and restoration that began in 1984. As the pioneer behind the first anonymous, online group recovery programs for affair recovery, Rick has counseled thousands of couples and guided many more through structured, hope-filled pathways toward healing. His work is marked not by shame or blame, but by honesty, accountability, vulnerability, and a deep belief that real transformation is possible even after profound relational trauma.
Key Resources:

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In this episode, we sit down with therapist, coach, and author Taylor Chambers — founder of The Good and the Free. Taylor opens up about his own journey through religious upbringing, porn addiction, relapse, and the long — and still ongoing — process of rebuilding his life. He shares why traditional addiction-recovery rhetoric fell short for him and many clients, and how he reinvented a path rooted in sexual health, mindfulness, deep intimacy, and self-leadership.

We dive deep into topics like:

Whether you’re struggling yourself or supporting someone you love, this conversation offers a refreshing, compassionate, hope-filled framework for healing and growth.

Resources Mentioned:

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