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What is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.

What is Man-ness? There is still a caveman instinct inside of us as men. Has the image got distorted as men try to metamorphize ourselves to fit what society tells us a man should be. Trying to fit what we are really not, is hard work. At some point there may be an increased desire to self-soothe and escape into cyberworld for a while – using sex, porn and/or other compulsive behaviours. 

Consider this poem: 

Children Learn What They Live

Author: Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism, he [she] learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he [she] learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he [she] learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he [she] learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he [she] learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he [she] learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he [she] learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he [she] learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he [she] learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, he [she] learns to like himself [herself].

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he [she] learns to find love in the world.

Templates and scripts from batons and intergenerational patterns passed on, are already shaping the developing brain in such an early formative time, which will set up patterns that continue to play out in adulthood. Therefore, significance must be given to this period in the man's life.

(Let's build upon this in the subsequent episodes of this interesting podcast chat).

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

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