Growing up is a challenge. It gets even tougher when you throw Blackness, coming out of the closet as a lover of penile persuasions and other features of the male form, and that age-old question of what really makes you a man—hint, it’s not just a penis or a good stroke. In the larger picture the guys explore how they felt when they became mindful of sexism and male privilege—the tragedy of realizing that the world refused to see their mothers as the self-possessed, superwomen that nurtured them—and the infamy of white privilege, particularly in a majority white LGBTQ spaces. In this week’s Ask Ya Brista segment, we ponder what a woman is to do when her man’s balls are particularly pungent.

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Dating is rough business, especially when you and your date are not on the same page (or your date is a fan of fuckboy behavior). The guys dig into their vaults to bring a few pieces of Fool’s Gold to the light. From a Toe-Job before dessert to a grope-tastic trip to the bathroom, the guys share memories of dating foolishness and fuckery. As an added bonus, Dr. Pouquie shares a tragic memory about an acquaintance clearing out a sex party with his curious mating ritual. In modifying a few key details to protect the not-so-innocent, the Doc failed to mention that the infamous party-killer was found in full meat-puppet mode under the command of brotha with hands the size of Cornish hens.

Doc asked his mother to skip this episode, but she’ll  listen until it is time to turn loose.

We welcome your letters for the Ask Ya Brista and Help A Brotha Out segments.

Listen to or download episodes on our site.

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The Short Version: Darkboy learns that there aren’t very many good things waiting for brothas in those hookup app streets. Dr. Pouquie learns that he often falls short of the restraint to which he aspires at times.

The Long Version:  It began as an exploration of problematic profiles and comments in hookup apps. Dr. Pouquie got a little loose and invited Darkboy into a conversation about white supremacy and economic privilege in LGBTQ communities. Darkboy enjoyed the ride and co-signed on many of the points raised. Finally, a listener letter takes the Doc on a nostalgic and informative trip through his participant observer research in men’s sexual sub communities during the grad school era.

 

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What is proper Gay House Party etiquette? When you’re one of the guys with a poor aim, how much effort should you put into cleaning up after yourself? When is it okay to stick around after the mass exodus? What’s the protocol for sex in the bathroom? Do you always have to bring a bottle? This week the guys discuss an article from our colleagues at Cypher Avenue that outlines 8 essential elements  of gay house party etiquette.

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Back when Mo’nique was loving us for real and asking us to boycott Netflix—love you Gurl, but naw!—we recorded our pilot episode. We thought the episode would not ever be released because of audio problems, but we were mistaken. We talk about knowing your worth when dealing with our heterosexual brothas and fellow members of the LGBTQ community.

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The guys discuss interracial dating. Well, they kept trying to get to the dynamics of dating a white man, but Dr. Pouquie’s dating escapades with his fellow Black men kept most discussion of interracial dating waiting in the wings. Perhaps, they'll get to it next time. So, we'll call this one "The Preamble to Interracial Dating."

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Darkboy and Dr. Pouquie engaged in a tasty sin—watching porn in public. We made our pilgrimage to downtown Los Angeles to take in the 2018 edition of Dan Savage’s HUMP Amateur Porn Film Festival. From shenanigans at the train station to swinging dicks in the bright sunlight to a whole lotta vagina, the guys talk about their hits and misses from the festival.

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Top, bottom, vers, or side? These labels are shorthand for many gay men on the hunt for that next nut or the love of their life. For some guys having an incompatible label is a dealbreaker, particularly when you mix gender performance, body types, and other stereotypes into the stew. Darkboy and Dr. Pouquie jump into this pot of hot mess to discuss what goes wrong when a sexual position goes beyond the sexual. They also tackle other interesting questions such as: can a top guy sporting 5 inches get the job done and whether a top guy can be sexually satisfied with a side?

 

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When one partner is not enough to quench your thirst or keep your loins in check, a side piece is usually put into play. Darkboy and Dr. Pouquie discuss the politics of that third, fourth, or fifth person in a relationship. The guys explore whether they would be okay as a side piece and whether they could keep things cute with a side piece or two in their stable.

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Darkboy and Dr. Pouquie pulled themselves together to partake in the Black Panther Experience. Of course, they had to discuss this tasty Afrofuturistic morsel. The guys put a few spoilers into play and speculate on what life would be if Wakanda were real.

 

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