Season 1 Episode 11: Bloodlines

Talc has a son? And a wife? And he can sneak back to his planet to see them but never has? What a dick. His wife does not stay mad enough, even after stabbing him. Also, never drink Daniel’s coffee.  

Also, SG Fun has Evolved!  Now with ACTUAL Audio Equipment!  No more wondering if Tory and Sarah are talking through Casio Compact Headsets through Phone Modems from 1994.  Enjoy!

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00:00 -  Intro

6:23 - 24 Seconds

8:50 - Recap

1:04:25 Were We Comforted

1:06:18 Yeh Neh or Meh

1:10:20 Next Week

1:11:20 Nonexistent Sponsors

1:11:38 Get To Know Your Host

Season 1 Episode 10: The Torment of Tantalus

How long must one be trapped in a wave-crashed cave before one becomes an Always Nude, a naturalist? How long, really, before one throws oneself into the sea? Longer than we’d think! Something like 50 ridiculous years! Catherine, please accept this naked and confused old man as a token of the SGC’s appreciation for fucking completely off forever.

----more----00:00 - Intro

1:48 - 24 Seconds

3:55 - Recap

58:13 - Were We Comforted

1:00:54 - Yeh Neh or Meh

1:13:16 - Next Episode

1:14:01 - Nonexistent Sponsors

1:14:22 - Get To Know Your Host

Season 1 Episode 9:  Thor's Hammer

The Team seeks to build a group of planets united against a common enemy, The Goooold; A federation of sorts, if you will. It doesn’t go great, especially for Talc, of course.

WILL OUR HEROES ALL MAKE IT OUT OF THOR’S SHITTY DISNEYLAND LABYRINTH RIDE ALIVE AND FULLY INTACT?

Alternate alternate title: Thor’s Hammered. Your hosts got pretty wasted, pretty fast for some reason.  Editing took a bit…please forgive any related delay in the release schedule!

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00:00 - Intro

2:27 - 24 Seconds

4:45 - Recap

1:19:48 - Were We Comforted

1:21:05 - Yeh Neh or Meh

1:25:23 - Nonexistent Sponsors

1:26:19 - Get To Know Your Host

1:30:53 - Next Episode

Season 1 Episode 8: Brief Candle

Some of the team gets their fuck on, others on the team suck their teeth in jealous disapproval. It’s babies having babies all over the place and also Jack catching the literal worst STI yet discovered. We can’t believe this doesn’t happen ALL THE TIME in SciFi! 

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00:00 - Intro

3:52 - 24 Seconds

5:19 - Recap

1:03:10 - Were We Comforted

1:05:32 - Yeh Neh or Meh

1:10:45 - Nonexistent Sponsors

1:11:11 - Get To Know Your Host

1:13:49 - Next Episode

Season 1 Episode 7: The Nox

Quark from DS-9 shows up with his new pals to repeatedly condescend to the dumb hooomans, but it’s cool: the dumb hooomans are too busy condescending back to even notice. Will our heroes save the Nox, or will the Nox save them?

Also, new segment:  GET TO KNOW YOUR HOST!  If you stick around after our sponsor segment (currently made up of a plethora of non existent, but soon to be corporate love bombs), Tory and Sarah answer a question from Talking Points, a game for couples to learn about their bae.  While we're not actually a couple, we feel engaged to you, our lovely fans (also non existent at this point, but we think fourth dimensionally yo).  Enjoy!

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00:00 - Intro

3:09 - 24 Seconds

5:45 - Recap

1:03:51 - Were We Comforted

1:12:04 - Nonexistent Sponsors

1:12:25 - Get to Know Your Host

1:15:54 - Next Episode

Season 1 Episode 6: Cold Lazarus

Jack is acting weird AF upon return from a mission that DEFINITELY is finally not just the forest in Vancouver, BC. But no one cares. At all. He just goes home. And stalks his ex. And also is a bomb. Oh my star(gate)s! We hope the team can save him and the show!

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00:00 Intro

5:40-24 Seconds

7:48-Recap

1:02:22-Were We Comforted

1:08:05-Next Episode

Season 1 Episode 5:  The First Commandment

Wow, this shit is WILD! Like, does the SG program even screen people for the job?

Talking points: Is it a coincidence that the first character killed in this one is called Frakes? I guess that’s why this is SG-9, or the A, B, C...I Squad. And why even have ranks if there’s no real chain of command?

----more----00:00 Intros

4:50 24 Sec

5:43 Recap

1:19:58 Were We Comforted

1:21:53 Yeh Neh or Meh

1:21:55 Next Week

Season 1 Episode 4: The Broca Divide

Ummmm I did not think this show would immediately nose dive to even more deplorable plotlines after last week, but they’re GOOD in that writer’s room.  

Talking Points: Dr. Jackson is hard to like after this one. Sam Carter is the goat. It’s pretty fun to watch the cast devolve, but was it more fun on StarTrek: The Next Generation?----more----00:00--Intro

3:17--24 Sec

4:53--Episode Recap

01:14:20--Were We Comforted

01:16:43--Yeh, Neh, or Meh

01:20:52--Next Week

Season 1 Episode 3: Emancipation

Well ain’t this some shit?

What’s that? Your male colleagues are minimizing your sexualization in the workplace again? Oh well! That’s why God made rose and bubble baths, am I right ladies LOLOLOLlllllllzzzzz.

Talking points: Does it seem like Not James Spader and MacGyver are actually enjoying this? Enjoy seeing Asian representation on this show, it’s going to be a very long time before you see more. And nobody puts Captain Doctor Carter in a corner.

----more----00:00 Intro

03:37 You got 24 seconds

04:27 Episode Recap

53:47 Were You Comforted

58:26 Yeh Neh and Meh

01:02:13 Outro

Season 1 Episode 2: The Enemy Within

Oh my god! Gross! Body Horror! Nobody liked Kawalsky Anyway!

Talking points: Wait, How do you pronounce Goa’uld? If you do a murder whilst harboring a...Goold (?), should you be arrested? And should someone who trades sides over just seeing a Casio really be on the team?

----more----00:00 Intro

04:35 You got 24 seconds

09:26 Episode Recap

42:25 Were You Comforted

49:10 Yeh Neh and Meh

51:35 Outro