Shame(less) Podcast

What does it mean for a man to grieve the loss of a child through miscarriage? In this vulnerable and raw conversation, returning guest Eric Schumacher joins Ken Freire to talk about something most men never speak of out loud: miscarriage from the father’s perspective.

Eric opens up about losing four children through miscarriage and how it challenged his identity, faith, and masculinity. Together, they explore how Christian men often bury their grief, avoid weakness, and wrongly carry shame over losses they can’t explain or fix.

This episode is a powerful reminder: grieving as a man isn’t weakness — it’s worship.

📍 TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – Ken welcomes back Eric Schumacher 00:25 – Reflecting on The Good Gift of Weakness01:00 – Why Eric wrote Dads Hurt Too: A Father’s Memoir of Miscarriage02:45 – The origin of the original essay & unexpected response from men 04:20 – Why a short, narrative book was needed for grieving dads 05:06 – “You’re a dad”: Validating the father's grief 05:37 – Why men don’t talk about miscarriage 07:00 – Fix-it mode: The trap for grieving husbands 08:47 – Your grief is not a distraction — it’s a way to love your wife 09:16 – Ken on compartmentalizing pain and fear of breaking down 10:07 – Why men resist weakness — and how Jesus meets us there 11:44 – Shame in miscarriage: “I couldn’t protect my family” 13:34 – The mental spiral of “what if” and the illusion of control 14:14 – Ken shares his own miscarriage story 15:03 – The death of dreams and future hopes 16:53 – Grief delayed: When the due date hits 17:56 – Say something: Breaking the silence after loss 19:08 – The shame of not sharing early pregnancy news 21:01 – Why mourning publicly matters 22:30 – Ken’s honest confession: “I’ll never know if it was a son or daughter” 23:34 – Why stuffing grief doesn't work — and the better way forward 23:45 – Gospel hope for grieving fathers 25:09 – Jesus is not a stoic: A Savior who wept and felt anger at death 26:58 – Jesus understands weakness, failure, and being let down 28:04 – Shame wants to isolate you; Jesus wants to comfort you 29:22 – Ken: “God understands. He lost a Son too.” 30:23 – Trust in the God who will not fail you 30:58 – Eric’s final encouragement: Mark the dates, remember the loss 32:18 – Honor the life in ways that help you grieve 33:56 – “Grief is a way of loving what’s lost.” 34:40 – How men can reach Eric for support 35:24 – Ken closes the episode: Kill shame, stand strong in Christ, live on mission

📘 Resources Mentioned:

• Dads Hurt Too: A Father’s Memoir of Miscarriage by Eric Schumacher
• The Good Gift of Weakness by Eric Schumacher
• Gospel Care Collective: https://gospelcarecollective.org

📱 Connect with Eric Schumacher:Instagram, Twitter, or through ericshumacher.com (Full links in the show notes)

Why do so many Christian men feel like they’re failing — at work, in marriage, in their faith — but still refuse to ask for help?

In this raw and deeply moving episode, Ken Freire sits down with pastor, author, and counselor Eric Schumacher, who shares the story of how shame, perfectionism, and pressure to perform nearly crushed his ministry. From childhood insecurities to ministry burnout, Eric thought being strong meant never showing weakness — until one night he broke down completely… and God showed up in the wreckage.

Eric opens up about his “dark night of the soul,” how pastoral pressure cost him connection with his family, and why Jesus’ weakness, not worldly strength, is the model for true Christian manhood.

Whether you’re exhausted from trying to hold it all together, or silently wondering if you’re failing as a man — this episode may be the turning point you didn’t know you needed.

⏱️ EPISODE TIMESTAMPS

00:00 — Why men hide weakness
01:20 — Meet Eric Schumacher
03:00 — Childhood perfectionism and approval addiction
05:45 — Ministry ambition and impure motives
08:00 — Burnout, anxiety, and the collapse of control
10:05 — The night Eric tore his Bible apart
13:00 — Grace shows up through his wife and elders
16:00 — How ministry hurt his marriage and parenting
19:30 — Numbing, anger, and checking out
23:00 — Why Christian men fear appearing weak
28:00 — Jesus’ model of godly weakness
33:30 — God's power made perfect in weakness
38:00 — Why Paul boasted in his shame
48:00 — Weakness kills passivity and pride
57:00 — One step to embrace your weakness today
1:03:00 — Final thoughts + how to connect with Eric

🔥 TOP QUOTES

💥 Key Takeaways:

• You don’t need to be the strongest man in the room — just the most surrendered.
• Numbing out, anger, and passivity often come from unacknowledged shame.
• Jesus wasn’t Instagram-worthy — He was despised, rejected, and weak by design.
• True strength looks like admitting you need help and trusting God to show up.
• Weakness isn’t the end of your story — it’s where the Gospel begins.

📲 Follow Eric Schumacher
Instagram / Twitter: @emschumacher
Book: The Good Gift of Weakness

What do you do when your worst nightmare becomes reality—and God doesn’t step in the way you hoped?

In this episode of the Shameless Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Davey Blackburn, founder of Nothing Is Wasted Ministries, to talk about grief, suffering, and how to find purpose when life feels shattered. Davey shares the heart-wrenching story of losing his pregnant wife, Amanda, to a random act of violence, and how God met him in the valley of grief, shame, and unanswered questions.

This conversation goes deep—fast. Together, Ken and Davey wrestle with hard questions men often face in silence:

• Why does God allow tragedy when we’re following His will?
• How do you process the endless what ifs that fuel guilt and shame?
• Where is God when the suffering feels unbearable?
• What does it look like to move from pain to purpose?
• How do we respond with faith when tragedy strikes the people we look up to—like the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk?

Davey’s story is not just about loss—it’s about the resilience God builds through suffering, the healing found in community, and the call to step back into mission even when it hurts.

If you’ve ever felt abandoned by God or struggled to believe He’s still good in the face of suffering, this episode will give you hope and perspective.

• Nothing Is Wasted Ministries
• Nothing Is Wasted Podcast
• Pain to Purpose Course

00:00 – Introduction to Davey Blackburn
01:20 – The tragic day that changed everything
06:40 – Wrestling with guilt, shame, and the “what ifs”
13:30 – Learning to see God’s providence in the details
19:00 – Asking the better question: “Where were You, God?”
25:00 – Moving from pain to purpose
31:00 – Launching Nothing Is Wasted
37:00 – Responding to cultural tragedy with compassion and truth
44:00 – Choosing restoration over revenge
49:00 – Practical encouragement for men walking through suffering
51:30 – How to connect with Davey and Nothing Is Wasted

👉 Website: nothingiswasted.com
👉 Podcast: Nothing Is Wasted Podcast
👉 Coaching & Courses: Pain to Purpose

What happens when the man everyone turns to for healing is secretly breaking down?

Dr. Mark McNear was a respected Christian therapist. But behind closed doors, he was overusing psychiatric medication to numb deep childhood trauma. In this raw episode, he shares how a confrontation with a psychiatrist forced him into rehab, how his family met his confession with grace, and how Jesus met him in the middle of his shame—not after he cleaned up.

This is a story of grace, healing, and learning to feel safe in your own skin.

• 00:04 – The double life of a therapist
• 01:24 – What people didn’t see
• 02:34 – Justifying the medications
• 06:24 – The turning point: “You need rehab”
• 08:03 – His wife's gracious response
• 09:07 – His daughter’s encouragement
• 12:47 – Childhood trauma resurfaces
• 15:20 – Learning to trust safe people
• 19:24 – Wrestling with God's presence
• 21:07 – Jesus asks, Do you want to get well?
• 27:10 – Learning to feel safe in his body
• 32:09 – Why Jiu-Jitsu became healing
• 36:15 – Final encouragement to men

• I was dripping with shame.
• Addiction lied to me and told me I was fine.
• No one told me I was traumatized.
• Grace showed up before I believed it could.
• God didn’t wait for me to clean up. He met me in the mess.

• Website & Coaching: www.markmcnear.com
• Book: Finding My Words: A Ruthless Commitment to Healing Gently After Trauma
• Scripture Referenced:
  Romans 2:4
  Ephesians 2:10
  Psalm 36:9
  John 5:6

If this episode resonated, don’t keep it to yourself. Share it. Reach out to someone. Even just one person. You are not disqualified. God’s grace gets the last word.

Subscribe to the Shame(less) Podcast and follow us for more stories like this.

Have you ever carried a father wound that shaped how you see yourself, God, or the world around you?
In this raw and powerful episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Jonathan Lewis, founder of Fathers for Fathers, to unpack how trauma, addiction, and anger often stem from deep places of brokenness and how the Father's heart of God brings real healing.

Jonathan shares his own journey: from trying to save his drowning father as a teen… to two decades of fog, despondency, addiction, and anger… to encountering Jesus in his 30s and finding a redemptive calling to help men break free.

If you’ve ever felt like your past disqualifies you or if you're tired of holding it together alone, this episode might just be the beginning of something new.

• Why fatherlessness impacts men more spiritually than we realize
• How trauma shows up as despondency, anger, addiction, and isolation
• The number one lie men believe about masculinity and the truth Scripture reveals
• Why surrendering to the Father is the hardest and most masculine thing a man can do
• How Fathers for Fathers is helping churches disciple broken men
• The power of fasting, shared hardship, and vulnerability in male community
• What it looks like to trust God with the things you fear most: your kids, your legacy, your wounds

0:00 – The weight of fatherlessness
3:00 – Jonathan’s story: losing his dad and blaming himself
7:00 – How trauma and guilt shaped his manhood
10:00 – The fog of despondency and false identity
14:00 – Anger, masculinity, and what’s really going on under the surface
21:00 – The question every man must answer: Who is Jesus?
26:00 – Why surrender is the bravest act a man can make
33:00 – What Fathers for Fathers actually does and how churches can join
37:00 – Wilderness hikes, baptisms, and why shared pain brings freedom
42:00 – Father’s Day challenge: fast, pray, walk, and step up

Feeling the weight of fatherlessness, addiction, or disconnection from your purpose?

Go to www.fathersforfathers.org to learn more, join a hike, or bring a men's ministry to your church.

📲 Text Jonathan directly. His number is listed on all socials, and yes, he actually replies.

Want more content like this?
🔔 Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a man who needs to hear it.

Is your sexual desire something to suppress or something to understand? Could the cravings you battle with actually point toward something deeply holy?

In today's powerful episode, host Ken Freire is joined by Matt Cline, founder of Restored Ministries, a global ministry that has helped over 4,000 men find freedom from sexual addiction through profound, heart-level transformation and intimacy with Christ.

Matt challenges common views on sexual sin and shares personal revelations from his journey of healing and restoration. He reveals how true freedom isn't found in behavior modification or willpower alone, but in deeply knowing Christ and understanding the God-given purpose behind our desires.

• Desire is Designed by God: Your sexual desires, though distorted by sin, were originally created to point you to intimacy with Christ.
• Heart-Level Healing: Overcoming sexual sin isn't about just changing behaviors but about transforming your heart through intimacy with Jesus.
• Identifying Triggers: Recognize that triggers are signals pointing to unmet desires and opportunities for deeper connection with God.
• Embracing Identity: Freedom comes from knowing your true identity in Christ, which transforms how you respond to temptation.
• Breaking Free from Shame: Confession and transparency are crucial steps toward healing and experiencing God's unconditional love.

• Matt's personal encounter with Jesus, leading to freedom from pornography and healing from past trauma (02:00).
• How sexual desire can actually guide you into a deeper intimacy with Christ (08:47).
• The difference between behavior modification and Spirit-led transformation (13:24).
• How to practically respond to triggers by turning to Christ and His truth (17:39).
• The importance of confession and community in overcoming shame (23:13).
• How identity in Christ is foundational to lasting freedom and healing (29:13).

• "It's not about doing, but just about being with Jesus and being united." – Matt Cline
• "Sexual intimacy is a picture of a deeper intimacy with Christ." – Matt Cline
• "Freedom isn’t just possible; it’s available and deeply fulfilling." – Matt Cline

• Website: Restored Ministries
• Community: Pure Freedom Community
• Coaching, courses, and additional resources available on the website.

• Visit Restored Ministries and explore free resources.
• Join a supportive community to maintain accountability and encouragement.
• Seek intimacy with God through scripture and prayer to experience lasting freedom.

Remember to kill shame, stand strong, and be on mission. If today's conversation resonated with you, take action—connect with a supportive community, embrace transparency, and pursue intimacy with Jesus, the one who truly satisfies.

God bless, and enjoy the journey of true freedom!

What if everything you thought you knew about sexual purity missed the bigger picture?

In this powerful episode of the shame(less) podcast, Ken Freire sits down with therapist and author Sam Jolman, who wrote The Sex Talk You Never Got, to explore what it truly means to become a godly sexual man. They unpack how the church’s teaching on purity culture, while well-meaning, often left men with more shame than freedom—and why it’s time for a better conversation about sexuality, desire, and the body.

Together, they dive into:

• The difference between lust and arousal
• How to honor your God-given sexual design without guilt
• What healthy masculinity looks like in the context of Scripture
• Why desire is not the enemy—and how to reorient it toward worship
• How emotional dysregulation masquerades as sexual need
• Why Jesus was the most sensual man who ever lived—and still sinless

Whether you're married, single, or in recovery from sexual addiction, this episode will help you begin reclaiming your sexual story from a place of freedom, delight, and holiness.

• Why purity culture often led to shame and confusion
• Arousal vs. lust: understanding the difference
• The role of beauty, play, and pleasure in spiritual formation
• How Jesus modeled healthy sensuality
• Rewriting the narrative: what it means to be a godly sexual man
• The spiritual power of being fully present with your body
• Turning the tables on shame through God's kindness

Sam Jolman is a therapist, counselor, and the author of The Sex Talk You Never Got. He’s spent years helping men heal from shame, understand their sexual design, and live as whole, integrated, godly men. Sam writes regularly about faith, masculinity, and sexuality on Substack, and offers resources and workshops through his website.

👉 Get the Book + Free Paperback: https://samjolman.com

• Sam Jolman’s Website: https://samjolman.com
• Join His Substack Community: https://samjolman.substack.com
• Buy the Book: The Sex Talk You Never Got – Available wherever books are sold
• Follow Sam on Instagram: @samjolman

• 00:03 – The problem with how the church teaches purity
• 02:00 – Why “Am I sinning?” is not a deep enough question
• 05:00 – How purity culture mishandled the male body
• 13:00 – Arousal vs. lust: a biblical and scientific breakdown
• 20:00 – Why sex is often misused as emotional regulation
• 26:00 – What it means to be a good sexual man
• 32:00 – Jesus, sensuality, and the power of beauty
• 39:00 – Why play is essential for sexual wholeness
• 43:00 – Final encouragement: Turn the tables on shame

In this deeply personal and redemptive conversation, Ken Freire sits down with Adam Westlake, a biblical counselor, to explore a Gospel-centered approach to same-sex attraction (SSA) and LGBTQ identity. 

Adam vulnerably shares his own story of growing up in West Texas, wrestling with his identity, and finding true healing through Christ, community, and biblical counseling.

Whether you’re in Nashville, TN, or anywhere in the world, this episode offers powerful encouragement and practical steps for those struggling with sexual sin, identity confusion, or shame.

• Adam’s journey from hiding same-sex attraction to walking in the light
• The difference between experience and identity
• How shame and silence grow without Gospel-centered community
• Why sexuality is often a search for connection, validation, or healing
• How Jesus satisfies our deepest longings as the Bread of Life
• The role of the church in counseling and loving those with SSA
• Common lies people believe when struggling with sexual identity
• Reframing disordered desires through God's redemptive story

• Name the struggle: Bring your sin or confusion into the light with someone trustworthy.
• Seek connection: Shame dies in community; isolation only feeds the struggle.
• Confess early: Don’t wait until you fall—share what’s going on before the sin.
• Feed on Christ: Only Jesus can truly satisfy the deep spiritual hunger in all of us.
• You’re not alone: Many believers silently wrestle with SSA—freedom begins with honesty.

Adam Westlake is a biblical counselor, worship leader, and producer who spent over a decade creating music with The Worship Initiative alongside Shane & Shane. Based in Texas, Adam now counsels individuals through his ministry, helping them reframe personal struggles through the lens of God’s larger redemptive story.

• adamwestlakecounseling.com
• Instagram: @adamwestlake

Love this episode? Share it with a friend who’s struggling with shame, addiction, or confusion around their identity.

 Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review—it helps more people discover the Gospel truth that shame doesn’t have the final word.

Struggling with pornography addiction? In this episode, Ken Freire interviews Bryan Petkau, professional counselor and founder of Renewed Hope Coaching, about the limitations of traditional therapy in addiction recovery. Discover how faith-based coaching, accountability, and community can lead to lasting freedom. 

• Traditional therapy models often lack real-time support.
• Limited check-ins (weekly sessions) leave men vulnerable between meetings.
• Professional constraints prevent faith-based integration in many counseling settings.
• Therapy can be valuable for trauma recovery but may not fully address addiction.

• Bryan transitioned from therapy to coaching to provide daily accountability and real-time check-ins.
• Community support through group sessions and private groups ensures men never feel isolated.
• Coaching offers high-touch support, focusing on biological, psychological, and spiritual healing.

• Many men believe marriage will solve their addiction, but this is a lie of the enemy.
• Feelings of shame, hopelessness, and self-condemnation often keep men stuck.
• The enemy’s goal is to destroy marriages and families, making this a spiritual battle as much as a behavioral one.
• Recognizing triggers, lies, and spiritual warfare is key to long-term healing.

• Daily accountability (first 3 months).
• One-on-one coaching for personalized battle plans.
• Weekly group meetings for shared support and encouragement.
• WhatsApp community for real-time help during moments of weakness.
• Faith-based approach integrating biological, psychological, and spiritual strategies.

"Pornography is the sharpest sword the enemy uses to destroy marriages. But when men are surrounded by real support, they can reclaim their freedom and their families."

✅ Christian men struggling with pornography addiction.
✅ Husbands seeking to rebuild trust and integrity in their marriages.
✅ Pastors & mentors looking for resources to help men in their communities.
✅ Anyone frustrated with traditional therapy models and looking for a high-support, faith-based alternative.

🔗 Learn more & work with Bryan: renewedhopecoaching.com
📢 Share this episode with someone who needs encouragement!
🙏 Remember: Kill shame, stand strong, and stay on mission.

🔔 Subscribe for more faith-driven recovery insights! 🚀

In this episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Joe Masek, founder of The Freedom Group, to discuss his journey from addiction and abuse to redemption. Joe shares his story of childhood trauma, struggles with pornography, and the deep shame that followed—along with the practical steps that led him to freedom in Christ.

This conversation is for men who feel trapped in addiction, isolated by shame, or unsure if true transformation is possible.

• Joe’s testimony: from childhood abuse to finding freedom in Christ
• How shame isolates men and why breaking free starts with confession
• The difference between cravings and temptation in addiction recovery
• Practical tools to rewire the brain and overcome pornography
• The role of brotherhood and daily accountability in healing
• How suffering can shape you into the man God has called you to be

"Porn isn't the problem. It's the solution we've used to cope with deeper wounds." – Joe Masek
"Shame isolates you, but God calls you into community for healing." – Ken Freire
"Freedom isn't just possible—it’s promised in Christ." – Joe Masek

Connect with Joe Masek & The Freedom Group:

• Website: TheFreedomGroup.co
• Instagram: @FreedomCoach_Joe
• Facebook: The Freedom Group
• March 2025 Freedom Intensive in Estes Park, CO

Books & Programs Mentioned:

• Dangerous Men by Lowell Seashore
• Steps to Freedom Retreat

If you’re struggling with shame, addiction, or feeling stuck in your spiritual walk, you’re not alone. Find an accountability partner, and start the journey to freedom today.

Help Others Break Free:

• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
• Share this episode with a friend
• Follow @KenFreire on all major social media platforms for more encouragement