Shared Secrets

In the last episode of Season Three of the Shared Podcast series, I'm excited to be able to share my conversation with a man who's getting a ton of media attention for all the right reasons. Olympic freeskier Gus Kenworthy has made headlines not only for his death-defying jumps and tricks on skis, but for his bravery in coming out as a gay man on the cover of ESPN The Magazine in an October 2015 cover story. He is widely viewed as the most visible LGBT action sports athlete in the country.

After the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, where Gus earned a silver medal, he came home with one goal in mind: Telling the truth about his sexual identity. In this episode, the 26-year-old skier shares his decision to come out while still competing, and the loneliness that came along with living a life of deception. We also discuss the shame and fear that Gus felt as a younger man, and the ways he's fighting hate and bigotry by being his most authentic self.

Longtime listeners of this podcast know I'm not one to shy away from difficult or sensitive issues. Still, I thought long and hard before deciding to delve into the topic of this episode of Shared Secrets, because I know how emotionally fraught it is for so many people. I'm grateful to Michele Promaulayko, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan, for joining me to discuss the incidents of sexual harassment and sexual assault that seem to be making new headlines on a daily basis.

In the episode, Michele talks about her powerful letter to readers in the magazine's February issue, which focuses on sexual harassment and assault. We discuss the subtle ways in which men can unknowingly harm women through “soft sexism.” And Michele explains how she believes we can improve the way we're talking about the problem.

Let's be honest: Very few of us feel like we're enjoying exciting, fulfilling and spontaneous sex lives. So why do we feel like there's nothing we can do to change the status quo? Sex therapist Emily Morse, my guest in this episode of Shared Secrets, is here to help us start the conversation.

In the episode, Emily talks about how we can overcome the shame and secrecy surrounding sex to start talking about what we want and need. She discusses the importance of prioritizing our sex lives the way we do our financial lives, and explains the steps we can take to do so. And she shares the tools we can use to inspire a more passionate connection.

Why do people cheat? It’s an age-old question about a seriously taboo topic. It’s also the subject of today’s episode of Shared Secrets, in which the renowned relationship therapist Esther Perel joins me to discuss infidelity, jealousy, desire and reconciliation.

In the episode, Esther, author of The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, explains the varied reasons why people stray, even from happy relationships. She tells me about the buffers that couples can develop to shield their relationship from the effects of trauma during difficult times. And we discuss how couples can recover from an infidelity in a way that leads to a more honest, deep and compassionate union than they had before.

The holidays are a time of joy for many of us. But for those who have suffered a loss, the holidays can bring up a range of emotions, from nostalgia for their lost loved one to outright pain and grief. My guest in this episode of Shared Secrets, Kate Spencer, has experienced that full range of emotions firsthand each holiday season since her mother died of cancer several years ago.

In the episode, Kate discusses her new memoir, The Dead Moms Club, which details her experience of losing her mother when she was 27. We also discuss the stigma surrounding grief and loss, and how preconceived ideas of how grief should look can be harmful. She also shares her tips for those looking for comfort and consolation this holiday season.

With her muscular 6-foot-3 physique and her confident demeanor, "vulnerable" isn't the first word I'd use to describe former pro volleyball player Gabrielle Reece. At least it wasn't the first word I would have chosen to describe her before listening to her podcast, The Truth Barrel. The podcast is named for the 220-degree barrel sauna that Gabby and her husband, pro surfer Laird Hamilton, have in their home, and it aims to "sweat the truth" out of its guests on topics people usually don't discuss. Gabby joins me in this episode of Shared Secrets to share some secret truths of her own.

In the episode, she tells me about how the shortfalls of her own childhood have left her with insecurities about parenting. She shares her challenges surrounding raising girls, and we discuss the fraught parent-child relationship. And she explains how she's working to empower her kids to make healthy choices in a world of oversharing via electronics and social media.

Every family has its secrets. When you come from a family of privilege, those secrets can lead to front-page headlines when they finally come to light. That was the case for Frances Stroh, author of Beer Money: A Memoir of Privilege and Loss, who joins me in today's episode of Shared Secrets to discuss her family’s fall from grace after generations of wealth.

In the episode, Frances tells me about growing up in a wealthy but dysfunctional household, and about how the collapse of her family’s brewing empire contributed to her family’s great personal losses. Frances also shares how a sense of entitlement can build through generations, and how a family legacy can cloud individual passion and identity. And she tells me about how she used art—she’s a former Fulbright scholar—to find a path out of the dysfunction and toward her own true identity.

There’s a reason Sarah Robb O’Hagan was named one of Forbes’ “Most Powerful Women in Sports”—this woman is fierce. As CEO of the indoor cycling company Flywheel Sports and founder of a movement she calls Extreme Living, she is all about taking big risks and rebounding from failure.

Sarah joins me in this episode of Shared Secrets to share the lessons she’s learned from years of working to remold the world’s most iconic brands, and from risking and failing in her own life. She explains why she believes that being “stubbornly humble” is the secret to success, and tells me about the philosophy behind her book, Extreme YOU: Step Up. Stand Out. Kick Ass. Repeat. She also describes her strategy for helping a generation of kids find their grit.

To say that former professional runner Gilbert Tuhabonye is a survivor is a vast understatement. In 1993, when Tuhabonye was a junior in high school, he was severely burned in a massacre in the Tutsi-Hutu war of Burundi, witnessing mass murder and barely escaping with his life. He spent three months in the hospital recovering, and was told he'd never walk again.

In this episode of Shared Secrets, Gilbert joins me to describe the path he took from the hopelessness after the tragedy to resilience and triumph. He explains how he aims to create meaning from his experience by helping others in a variety of ways, including his work as a running coach and through the Gazelle Foundation. And he shares the No. 1 tool he's found for discovering your strength in the wake of adversity.

Supermodel Jill Dodd had a secret, and she knew she wanted to share it. It took a few decades, but she recently brought her past to light by releasing her memoir, The Currency of Love: A Courageous Journey to Finding the Love Within. She joins me in this episode to discuss that secret, and to talk about the ramifications of staying silent for so long.

In the episode, Jill shares that while she was living a supposedly glamorous life as a model in Paris, her personal life was complex, to say the least. She explains how fear, family and beliefs about the worth of her body influenced her decisions, and shares how she transitioned from a life spent fearing judgment to one of listening to her inner voice. And she tells me about her hopes for helping others find their inner voices, too.