Sharing Without Shame

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, Donna Marston welcomes Darlene Lancer, licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and internationally recognized expert on codependency, shame, and emotional healing.

With over 30 years of clinical experience, Darlene shares how shame often sits at the core of addiction, codependency, anxiety, depression, and unhealthy family dynamics—and why healing symptoms alone isn’t enough.

Together, Donna and Darlene explore how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, how families unintentionally pass down shame, and why setting boundaries is essential for both recovery and peace.

In this episode, we discuss:

- The difference between shame and guilt and why it matters

- How childhood emotional suppression fuels codependency

- Why addiction is often a form of self-soothing, not rebellion

- The connection between shame, anxiety, and perfectionism

- How families absorb and carry shame around addiction

- Why enabling feels like love but often causes harm

- Detachment, boundaries, and letting others experience consequences

- Gaslighting, loss of self-trust, and emotional survival in addiction

- Why healing must address the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical self

Darlene also shares practical insights on recognizing inner criticism, rebuilding self-esteem, and beginning the process of releasing long-held shame.

About the Guest:

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT is the author of Codependency For Dummies, Conquering Shame and Codependency, Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist, and several workbooks and healing resources.

Connect with Darlene:

Darlene Lancer: https://darlenelancer.com/

What is Codependency: https://whatiscodependency.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/codependencyrecovery/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/darlenelancerlmft/

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at ⁠sharingwithoutshame.com⁠

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠⁠https://snappbandz.com/⁠

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, Donna sits down with Karrie Mitten, CEO and founder of Uplevel Your Life Consulting, a transformational life-mastery consultant, speaker, and empowerment coach.

Karrie opens up about growing up in an addicted household, becoming a perfectionistic “fixer,” and facing her son’s addiction—only to discover that the real healing had to begin within herself.

Together, Donna and Karrie explore:

- Breaking generational cycles and perfectionism

- How addiction affects the whole family

- The journey from enabling to empowering

- Creating a vision when your loved one can’t see one

- Setting boundaries rooted in love

- What it means to “walk through” instead of staying stuck

- How to come home to yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically

- The choices that turn struggle into strength

Karrie shares how her own unraveling became the doorway to her purpose, and why taking responsibility for our own healing changes everything—our families, our future, and generations to come.

Connect with Karrie Mitten:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/uplevelyourlifeconsulting/

Podcast: https://uplevelyourlifeconsulting.com/Podcast

Website: https://uplevelyourlifeconsulting.com/

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at ⁠sharingwithoutshame.com⁠

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠⁠https://snappbandz.com/⁠

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this heartfelt episode of Sharing Without Shame, Donna sits down with Dion Miller, counselor, recovery advocate, and host of Trudging Together. Dion opens up about his journey from addiction and absentee fatherhood to healing and rebuilding trust with his children. Together, Donna and Dion dive into the family side of addiction, the importance of taking responsibility, and what it truly means to break the cycle of shame.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Rebuilding trust after addiction

Why labels like “addict” and “alcoholic” cause harm

Understanding triggers and taking ownership of healing

How trauma shapes behavior and recovery

Breaking family patterns and embracing truth

Why recovery is about more than abstinence—it’s about transformation

“There are no more excuses left. All that’s left now is the truth and the solution.”

Connect with Dion Miller:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trudging_together/

Podcast: https://trudgingtogether.podbean.com/

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at ⁠sharingwithoutshame.com⁠

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠⁠https://snappbandz.com/⁠

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode, I had the privilege of speaking with Lauren Sisler, an ESPN sports broadcaster, motivational speaker, and author of the memoir "Shatterproof." Lauren's work focuses on breaking the stigma around addiction and mental health, particularly within communities of athletes, the military, and faith groups.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

The Power of Truth and Vulnerability – Lauren’s story reminds us that healing begins when we stop hiding our pain and start speaking honestly about it.

Grief and Shame Are Intertwined – Understanding how shame can deepen grief helps us approach both with compassion and self-awareness.

Addiction Has No Boundaries – From athletes to military members, Lauren sheds light on how addiction can affect anyone, regardless of background or success.

Healing Is a Continuous Journey – Recovery isn’t about hitting “rock bottom” but about reaching a point of “enough” and choosing hope and progress each day.

Turning Pain into Purpose – Through her memoir Shatterproof and motivational speaking, Lauren shows how embracing your story can transform deep wounds into a message of strength and freedom.

Lauren's story is a powerful reminder that healing begins the moment we choose to stop hiding and start sharing without shame. Her journey from grief and denial to acceptance and advocacy is an inspiration to anyone dealing with the impact of addiction and loss.

Connect with Lauren Sisler

Website: ⁠laurensisler.com⁠⁠

Book "Shatterproof" available on her website and major retailers: https://www.laurensisler.com/my-book-shatterproof-lauren-sisler

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at ⁠sharingwithoutshame.com⁠

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠⁠https://snappbandz.com/⁠

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of the Sharing Without Shame podcast, host Donna Marston welcomes Ian McLoone, a licensed addiction psychotherapist, educator, and co-founder of Expanse in Minnesota. Together, they dive into the realities of addiction treatment, the importance of family healing, and the hope that recovery brings.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

- Why methadone and other medications for opioid use disorder save lives, despite stigma.

- The myths of “rock bottom” and why tough love can do more harm than good.

- How families can heal alongside their loved ones—and why ignoring family recovery is toxic.

- A compassionate explanation of harm reduction and why it’s essential in saving lives.

- Practical ways to set healthy, loving boundaries without enabling.

The hopeful truth: most people struggling with substance use disorder do recover.

Resources & Links

Connect with Ian: https://www.ianmcloone.com/ | https://expansemn.com/

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠https://snappbandz.com/

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode, Donna welcomes Katie Anderson, a proud mom and a woman in long-term recovery with over 9 years of sobriety. Katie shares her journey from addiction to healing, the role of family, and the powerful lessons she’s learned about resilience, spirituality, and breaking generational cycles.

Topics Covered:

- Katie’s path into addiction and what led her to recovery

- The role of family dynamics in both addiction and healing

- Honest conversations with children about substance use

- Overcoming shame and asking for help

- Tools, faith, and daily practices that support long-term recovery

- Advice for parents and loved ones navigating a child’s addiction

💛 “Recovery is a process, and you don’t have to do it alone.”

👉 Learn more about Donna’s work and resources at sharingwithoutshame.com

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠https://snappbandz.com/

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, Donna Marston welcomes author and journalist Mallary Tenore Tarpley to talk about her ongoing recovery journey from an eating disorder.

Mallory shares how her disorder began after the loss of her mother, how shame kept her silent, and how she now embraces the "middle place"—a space between illness and full recovery that so many experience but few talk about.

Topics We Cover:

- What recovery really looks like (not always a finish line)

- Slips vs. relapses: learning to shift perspective

- The importance of language, honesty, and support

- How parents can approach conversations without blame

- Small, powerful ways to celebrate progress

Mallory’s new book Slip releases August 5 and explores the complexity of healing with empathy, truth, and grace.

Connect with Mallary Tenore Tarpley: https://www.mallarytenoretarpley.com/contact

Books: https://www.mallarytenoretarpley.com/

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠https://snappbandz.com/

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, host Donna Marston sits down with transformative coach Jason Shiers to talk about his powerful journey from addiction to healing. Jason opens up about growing up with trauma, hiding his past, and how he eventually found freedom by being honest about his story.

They talk about what recovery really means, how important it is to stop chasing perfection, and why both families and loved ones need support. Jason shares how he moved beyond traditional recovery programs and now helps others find true peace and lasting change. This episode is full of hope, insight, and real talk for anyone touched by addiction.

Connect with Jason: https://www.wideworldcoaching.com/about/

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠https://snappbandz.com/

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, host Donna Marston sits down with Richard Evans, a former firefighter and paramedic turned addiction counselor, to explore the emotional weight and trauma that often go unseen in high-stress professions. With brutal honesty, Richard shares his journey from the rush of saving lives to the depths of addiction, burnout, and a near-suicidal spiral—all while juggling the roles of husband, father, and first responder.

Richard opens up about the cultural silence around trauma in the emergency services world, the dangers of “stuffing it down,” and how a lifetime of hard work and service couldn’t save him from the pain he refused to acknowledge. From 48-hour shifts and liters of vodka to a psychiatric hospital at Christmas, Richard’s story is a raw reminder of what happens when society fails to support its frontline heroes.

Together, Donna and Richard unpack the weight of shame, the importance of peer support, and the urgent need for trauma-informed recovery tools for those who risk their lives to protect others. This conversation shines a light on hope, redemption, and the long road back from the edge—with a powerful reminder that healing is possible when we stop hiding and start sharing.

Connect with Richard Evans

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/richardthecounsellor2/#

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/richardthecounsellor2/#

Website: https://www.rootedrising.ca/

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠https://snappbandz.com/

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Learn more: ⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.

In this episode of Sharing Without Shame, host Donna Marston welcomes Jennifer Young — mother of three and founder of the ConnectMio app — to talk about the raw reality of living with a partner struggling with alcohol use disorder. Jennifer opens up about the isolation, emotional exhaustion, and hidden grief that came with loving someone through active addiction.

Jennifer opens up about her decision to stay with her partner despite the stigma, the emotional weight of parenting through addiction-fueled chaos, and the quiet unraveling of boundaries she didn’t realize she had crossed. Together, Donna and Jennifer unpack what it really means to live day-to-day in survival mode—navigating sleepless nights, silent suffering, and the crushing absence of resources for families.

From losing her social circle to finding her voice, Jennifer shares how her lived experience led to the creation of ConnectMioo, an app designed to support families dealing with a loved one’s addiction. With raw honesty, the two discuss the urgent need for community, trauma-informed support, spiritual grounding, and tools—like brainwave therapy and behavioral aids—that helped them both get through the darkest times.

Connect with Jennifer Young:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/connectmio

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connectmio/

Website: https://www.connectmio.com/

Grab my free "5 Boundaries and Breakthrough" Guide here: ⁠ https://swos.sharingwithoutshame.com/5-boundaries

Sponsors:

Experience Inner Peace with Calming Therapy Bracelets

Website: ⁠https://snappbandz.com/

Use SWOS or SharingWithoutShame code

Learn more: ⁠https://linktr.ee/Sharingwithoutshame⁠

Thank you for tuning in! May your faith and strength heal your heart.