Shitty Cinema

This week we dive deep into Vin Diesel's OC. How does his D&D character fare in this movie? We all try to impersonate him to find out. Plus, Dave wishes he could be a witch just to make his messy house look clean, Casey discovers her feelings about Vin Diesel with a mohawk and beard, and Jay is jealous nobody wants to make a movie out of his favorite D&D character.

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Neil Breen's green screen dreams won't make you feel unclean, but we're calling PETA on his tiger queen. Listen to figure out what that means?

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Will Dave use his secret Google to find out about Tom Laughlin's foot phalanges? Will he ever get over his fear of community theater nerds? And most importantly, who hurt him?

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New Cinemite drinking game: every time Casey screams "Gimli" or refers to Chuck Norris' "shit sweat" take a drink. Sit and liksten as we process Dave's selection this week.

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Dave learns another important IMDB tags lesson while Jay and Casey learn that a real Chilean dentist doesn't kick you in the chest to remove a loose tooth. Who knew?

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Fred Ward dazzles us in the most blue jean badass way possible: killing dozens of construction workers at a national monument. We assume that our founding fathers wipe away a tear of approval.

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Sometimes you have to read the IMDB tags on a movie to find out what kind of Canadian debauchery we've gotten ourselves into. And by you, we mean Dave, because he's got good insurance.

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This week we see Jason Statham over stimulated, and over Milo Ventimiglia's awful date ideas. While we love a whimsical Tucci everyone is going to need to donate to Jason Statham's solid food fund.

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While watching this film Casey is reminded of the "Where's My Money Bitch Holes" on the Price is Right, Dave refuses to believe that this isn't a student project that scored Eric Roberts, and Jay falls in love with an unlikely person.

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Jay and Casey try to make a compliment sandwich but struggle when the only filling is this shit film. Dave loses his mind of the lack of poker playing and Justin Timberlake's performance is almost as captivating as a yeast infection.

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