Santa’s on notice as Connery and Cowboy argue Krampus deserves the gig. A priceless crown gets wrecked in China (Cowboy has a very “non-scientific” explanation), AI sex bots are apparently outpacing humans in the kink department, and radioactive shrimp are back to haunt America. Plus: cancer-curing frog guts, the Bears flirting with Indiana, the Chiefs are headed to Kansas, Marvel resurrecting Captain America (again), and heartfelt—or unhinged—letters to Santa.

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