Self-doubt used to be my best friend.
Hell, it still is as I continue to become more vulnerable and push my creative career forward.
Seriously, I feel like an imposter every day.
Why should someone take me seriously and why should someone care?
The imposter in me feeds me these objections:
You work a day job and am not a proven self-sufficient artistYou have student loan debt and no financial freedomYou don’t have prolific, big name clients*It's really hard to not let this type of thinking bring me down. Yet at the same time, I realize that none of these things matter if I keep doing what I know and enjoy the most.
This episode is dedicated to showing you that you are not the only one facing an inner struggle each day.
I want to convince you that you are an imposter and that’s okay—it means you’re going in the right direction.
I’ll be honest; I’ve been in a brand identity crisis since about last year once I got heavy into blogging. Just when I think I have things figured out I begin doubting it all the next day.
One of my biggest struggles is how to position myself to the creative community and how to offer my services.
On one hand, I’m an artist / freelancer and my work is what got me any attention in the first place.
On the other hand, I feel I can serve a bigger purpose than just creating art—that’s where the blogging, speaking and podcasting manifested from.
With art, I’m extremely confident in my abilities compared to the boy years back who was terrified to share his work with anyone.
Confidence continues to build especially since taking up freelance again. I’m getting great clients who pay great because they know they are working with a specialist.
I'm a specialist because only I can do what I do best—it took a long time to realize this. Although people can and do rip my style and work, no one else can replicate the message and context I inject into it.
I’m good with this part of my brand. When I’m creating, I’m in the moment and feel the most alive. It’s truly the only time I’m not dwelling on the past or laser focused on what’s next in the future.
However, the doubt creeps in with the ‘influencer’ side of my brand for lack of better terms. By influencer, I’m essentially saying I am using different channels like writing and speaking instead of just art to encourage creatives.
I don’t understand why but I’ve been convinced I had to separate these two identities within my business.
Can Perspective-Collective really house the artist / freelancer along with this influencer role?Can I have an umbrella job titles that combines these both?I realize I’m extremely over thinking things but this is a real pain point for me.
Practically every piece of creative motivational content I’ve produced since pursuing this path has made me cringe when I hit publish.
There is this element of feeling fake for many reasons:
I’ve lacked clarity on how to communicate what it is I do outside of art.I’ve been filtering myself for the longest time trying not to offend people.I’ve felt corny and hella cheesy with the majority of my messaging because I couldn’t be my true self.These are just a few reasons.
I know I am more than art, but I don’t know how to communicate this.
I’ve been called a coach, influencer, consultant and mentor several occasions so I thought this is the route I needed to go.
I should probably use my audiences' language right?
I tried giving myself the title of “Creative Coach” or “Creative Mentor” and I died a little bit inside every time I called myself it publicly.
It just doesn’t feel right.
Sadly, since I have been speaking more at conferences, I’m terrified of my idols thinking I’m a corny piece of shit.
I don’t want to care what they think but damn, I really do care.
The imposter within me tears me apart day-by-day as I feel I’m proclaiming I’m something I’m not.
It screams, “Scotty, you’re a 28-year-old artist who has a day job. Why the hell should anyone take you serious with a title like Creative Mentor?”
Only recently have I been able to cope with this serious but not serious dilemma. It’s been through a quote I recently heard and being vocal about my problems with people like you.
Why It’s Okay to Be an Imposter
This past October I got the opportunity to hear Nathan Barry speak—let me tell you he has a fantastic presence on stage. His message of focusing on what works and dedicating yourself to it really stuck. However, there was a point he made that cut deep into my core.
[perfectpullquote align="full" cite="" link="" color="1c1c1c" class="" size="32"]“If you feel like an imposter, you’re going in the right direction.”[/perfectpullquote]
[ctt template="2" link="DAVG0" via="no"]“If you feel like an imposter, you’re going in the right direction.” - @nathanbarry[/ctt]
I needed to hear that even the juggernauts of the creative industry feel like imposters.
This is a normal feeling.
I repeat, this is a normal feeling.
I’m 28 years old and I’m not supposed to have everything figured out. Adversity and self-doubt are pre-requisites when pursuing your creative career.
This isn’t supposed to be easy, but it’s about showing up each day and figuring out what works and what doesn’t—and currently, me forcing myself to step into influencer role and titling myself as a ‘creative mentor’ just isn’t panning out.
[ctt template="2" link="DAVG0" via="no"]Adversity and self-doubt are pre-requisites when pursuing your creative career.[/ctt]
Be Comfortable With Your Identity
The day I picked up a pencil (or a crayon), I immediately became an artist.
When I’m buried in my grave, I will be an artist.
Right now in my life, I am an artist who does hand lettering and illustrations. I’m also just a fellow creative who is in your corner cheering you on to do great things with your work with my podcast.
If you want to call me a mentor or a coach, that’s cool. I’m not going to label myself that.
I can’t continue to force something that doesn’t feel right.
This will all happen in time.
I can’t force myself overnight to become the future version of myself I envision n 5–10 years. It doesn’t work that way.
As I share my struggles, I’d love to hear from you:
What are you struggling with right now?Where do you feel like an imposter on your creative path?Shoot me an email at [email protected] as I will read and respond.
I want you to realize you’re not alone and even the people you look up to deal with this.
Stop forcing something that doesn’t feel right. It’s important to follow your intuition and trust your gut.
If something feels off and it has for awhile, reevaluate things and find people who you can talk to.
It’s been huge for me to get this off my chest and I’m finding massive amounts of relief in sharing this with you.
So in conclusion, my name is Scotty Russell, and I’m an artist who does illustrations and hand lettering.
I’m also an imposter and that’s okay.
You are not the only one facing an inner struggle each day.If you feel like an imposter, you're going in the right direction.No one else can replicate the message and personality you inject into your work.Adversity and self-doubt are pre-requisites when pursuing your creative career.Show up each day and figure out what works and what doesn't.Trust your gut and stop forcing something that doesn't feel right.
Show Notes:
Alex Blumberg - This American Life