Simpin After Dark

Welcome to the fourth annual Psycho Lover Halloween special edition episode of Simpin After Dark, where I get into submissions from you, the listener! Karagan joins me to talk about IAMDDB's 2023 single, "Where did the Love Go?", which is about choosing yourself and remaining true to yourself no matter what. There's some fun lines in there that lead us to talk about the type of men that are obsessed with their homeboys and spend all their time with them, and give all their effort to them, while neglecting their girlfriends. We also talk about the negative impact that the ego can have in a relationship and why you should be wary of someone with too much ego, or of you yourself having too much ego. Then we get into the submitted Psycho Lover story about revenge porn, and share some tips on how to protect yourself, and also the legal side of what happens if you are ever in that predicament. We talk celeb drama about Lori Harvey, Drake, and Doja Cat, and end with reading some hate comments from incels and broke mean men on our viral TikTok video about avoiding cheap frugal men.

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

I'm doing a full in depth review of Kali Uchis new album, Red Moon In Venus. The album beautifully explores themes of romance, self love, and sensuality. It tells the story of a new relationship blooming from the honeymoon stage, and going through the natural cycle of insecurities and problems arising, while learning to navigate everything the universe throws their way. It's super relevant and has plenty of fun lyrics to relate to, about your man being on his phone too much, or him starting to get too comfortable and slipping up in his efforts to keep the relationship strong. It all wraps up with the song, "Happy Now", that leaves us feeling like everything's gonna work out and that happiness is a decision we can commit to if we know the love is real.

I end the episode touching on some topics from last week's episode that I wanted to expand on. I saw a TikTok of a girl talking about her horrible experience getting a cervical biopsy, so I share my traumatic experience of an attempt at getting an IUD, and my thoughts on birth control and women's healthcare. After that I expand on Esther Perel's idea that partners in long lasting relationships, have their own private sex lives, and I relate it to Stanley Kubrick's movie, Eyes Wide Shut, and the idea of private fantasies and how they can hurt or benefit your relationship. I end with a short segment on the importance of remaining independent while in a relationship and the difference between codependence and interdependence. This is the season finale, so follow me on Instagram and TikTok for updates about Season 7!

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

Today I have another amazing reoccurring guest, ceci bendita, join me to talk about KAROL G's new song, "TQG", featuring Shakira, from her new album, Mañana Será Bonito. It'a all about thriving after leaving someone who could never handle you and was ultimately holding you back. Both of these baddies have been thriving in their lives and careers, after moving on from dusty lames that couldn't keep up and were never equipped to be a queen. Both their relationships were heavily publicized, so watching the drama go down from the outside has added its own layer to the mix, which the music video played into, and needs to be dissected. Most of us are not famous, but can probably relate on a level to that added layer, when we take into account how social media has publicized our own lives to a certain extent.

We get into cheating as a cultural "norm" in Latino culture, and how some men have secret second families. We dig into why this happens and how it relates to purity culture and the madonna whore complex. We talk about Esther Perel's observation that couples in long lasting relationships each have their own private sex lives, and what that even entails. Is it normal to develop crushes while in a relationship?

Then we talk about a twitter thread where gamers were venting about how gaming is their only escape from life, as men, because they can't talk to people in real life. It can be toxic to remain in a victim complex, and it can be extremely detrimental to a relationship when you neglect your partner and make them feel like they can't be there for you.

We also talk about how more women are choosing to remain childless and why it's important to normalize it and have more representation. People don't talk enough about the realities of it, and it's important so that women can make informed decisions.

Next week is the finale episode to season 6, so make sure to follow me on TikTok and instagram for more content and any updates <3

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

Karagan joins me to talk about FLO's song, "Not My Job", which is all about setting boundaries and not dealing with men that aren't doing the work to be better partners, because it's not our job as women to make them into something they're not. It's a fun little bop with an early 2000's R&B vibe, and it has a great message that we can all apply to our lives. We continue last week's conversation about the Armchair Expert podcast with Dax Shepard ft. Anna Kendrick, which shared many great lessons about toxic relationships, and dealing with gaslighting and manipulation. We also discuss some insane TikTok live's about "90 Day Rules for Men While Dating", which are absolutely ridiculous. We then get into conversations about men and their preferences of who they wife up versus "have fun with", overbearing mother in laws, toxic boy moms, advice from Esther Perel, pick me's, and a lot of other juicy topics, so tune in <3

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Check out her music on all streaming platforms and keep an eye out for upcoming projects <3

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

April joins me to talk about Kali Uchis' latest single, "I Wish you Roses", from her highly anticipated album, Red Moon in Venus, dropping March 3rd, 2023. It's all about releasing people with love and grace, and trusting that you'll be better off, and they'll get what's coming to them. She emphasizes that she expects to be treated like a queen, and if that isn't happening then she'll be gone, and it's their loss. A true bop about self love and not jeopardizing your peace or letting them see you sweat.

Then we deep dive some of the gems that were dropped on the Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard podcast, featuring Anna Kendrick, because there were so many, and they were too good not to share. She gives the rundown on her toxic ex relationship, and all the lying, gaslighting, manipulation, and mental abuse that she went through. She was extremely honest and vulnerable about her own attachment issues, and how she finally was able to leave. She also starred in a movie that recently came out, Alice, Darling, which is about a controlling boyfriend, and the scary, sinister way in which you can end up in an abusive relationship, so we talk a bit about that. Tune in <3

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

Today I start by explaining the brat kink that I promised I'd get into last episode, and the kink of telling your sub what to wear. While searching for what that kink is called or if it's even a thing at all, I learned about candaulism, and dollification, which are super interesting so brace yourself for a little history and BDSM sidebar.

Elle Eliades's latest single, "More to Love" is a beautiful, soulful tune about feeling bored and distant in a relationship, and wondering if there's more to look forward to or if that's all there is. Her opening line, "I know the movies lie, but I hope there is more to love than this", sets the tone for the conversation about whether movies have given us an impossible portrayal of love, or maybe we're just not in the right relationship. Maybe there's no right answer, but in this episode I entertain the idea that it could be a little bit of both, but that we all deserve a love that ignites our life and that it's worth not giving up on.

I also read a short but insightful conversation that I saw on twitter, based on a TikTik screenshot, about how love is all around us and we show it in so many ways that aren't limited to sexual or typical romantic expressions, and that our expectations and view of love shouldn't be so narrow.

Then I talk about a concerning TikTok I saw of older men doing the "She's a 5 but_____. She's a 10 but" trend, princess treatment and being spoiled, and finally the "getting flewed out" discourse and the rape culture it's perpetuating.

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

Today I'm getting into UK R&B singer, Jaz Karis's, 7 song EP, "DEAR JAZ" (2022). It's an honest and vulnerable expression of the difficulty of breakups, the back and forths, and becoming whole again. She realizes she's dealing with a narcissist who is breaking her down and making her feel as if she's an option, so she makes the difficult decision to move on and heal, which is a story that many women can relate to. It's a cathartic, moody listen, perfect for a night drive, or for crying your heart out to if you're also going through a break up.

Then I talk about the latest misogynist f*ckery: Passport Bros. Men are not just getting their passports and traveling to other countries where women are more submissive, but they're building platforms off of advising other weird losers to do the same. It's predatory and promoting sex tourism, and the exploitation of women in unfavorable financial situations. I read some wild comments from passport bros or aspiring passport bros, on a YouTube video about their whole deal, so brace yourself.

Lastly I talk about how some men and their egos express their desire for control by trying to change the way you dress, using a YouTube couple as an example. I also compare it to another couple on TikTok, where the guy showed interest in dressing his girlfriend, in a much less sinister way, and I explain the difference. There was also some juicy but unnecessary drama surrounding that video, so I get into that and say my piece.

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

Happy new year angels! Tonight I get into an upcoming rnb artist, Avenoir's recent single, "Shameless". His music and vibes are very reminiscent of Brent Faiyaz so you can expect just the perfect dash of toxic lyrics (aka avoidant attachment dynamic). The song is about a back and forth between him and a girl who he "loves" but can't be serious with because of his trust issues and basically telling her that it's a dead end with him so to not pursue him. We've all been there, so we know sometimes these situations can turn into something real, even if you weren't looking for that.

I get into the ethics of why it's messed up to continue to see someone who wants something serious, even if you communicated that you don't. But at the end of the day all you can do is take people's words at face value and protect yourself, so if you know you can't handle a situationship, then remove yourself as soon as it's clear that's what's about to develop.

Then I get into a Tik Tok that went viral all over TT and Twitter, about a guy who had "an epiphany" when a girl that he'd been messing with was crying to him, and he felt nothing, and that it must mean that she is not "the one". Of course he wears a dangly earring, confirming many women's theories that those are the worst, sneakiest, most misogynistic type of men.

Lastly I talk about Andrew Tate's arrest for his involvement with sex trafficking women in Romania, and why we need to talk about what that actually entails, the loverboy method, and how people who post videos of "almost getting trafficked at Target" are causing more harm than anything.

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

SZA finally dropped an album after five long years and I'm getting into some of my favorite tracks from this amazing project, S.O.S. The pick me's made it a point to go out of their way to proclaim how they can not relate and are above the themes that S.Z.A. poured her heart and soul into, so I'm going out of my way to explain why their takes are so surface level, annoying, and unnecessary. A specific femininity coach engaged with a really weird misogynistic tweet so I talk about that and segue into how women like her are masking their misogyny as "divine femininity". The literal essence of a pick-me is someone who puts certain women down in order to feel like they're above them and more deserving of love and the male attention they so desperately crave. Don't be like them. Tune in for all that, an in depth breakdown of S.O.S, and an explanation of what actual divine femininity entails. <3

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Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)

Yung Student Loans joins me to do a deep dive into his latest release, "KING OF THE LOWKEY: AN EMO SPACE ODYSSEY (STORY MODE)". This album tells the story of Yung Student Loans finding out a girl he's been messing with has been proposed to, and the way his feelings change from the beginning to the end. He starts as a side piece who's down for a good time but slowly begins to question if maybe there's more to it. We go on a fun tangent about Kendrick Lamar's song "We Cry Together (ft. Taylour Paige)", and the normalization of toxic relationships and abusive behavior. Then another tangent about the bible, when a certain proverb referenced in one of YSL's songs comes up. Lastly we end with some tweets about "the realest females", bare minimum, how to know if someone actually likes you, love languages, and tone policing.

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Youtube - Click here to watch full episodes

Intro song - Lo-fi Type Beat - Dreaming (Prod. Lee)