Feeling rushed, overwhelmed, unproductive can all be signs you are living your life on autopilot. That is, living life by default, without intention. 

The outcome is an inner sense of lack, but we might not notice it. BECAUSE Our life might look 'nice' enough on the surface, and we have done all the things that people told us would make us successful and happy - but we really don't feel it. So we think something is wrong with us, and with our lives. 

Autopilot living leaves you feeling ineffective and like you aren't stepping into your purpose and passions for your life. 

I have six ways that auto-pilot living can be showing up in your life and give you some direction on what you can do about it. 

I write this all to you as someone who lived on autopilot for about 30 years before waking up to it and deciding to take control of my life.

I had let complacency seep through my whole life. My health, my motherhood, my marriage, my home, my relationships. They were all operating without any intention or direction from me and what I truly craved in those areas of my life. 

(full episode transcript is at the bottom of this post)

SIX SIGNS YOU ARE LIVING YOUR LIFE ON AUTOPILOT

You are putting out fires all-day

You are feeling overwhelmed

You feel restless....or apathetic

You feel unproductive at the end of the day

You feel like something is missing

You are distracted

And in motherhood, we can see we are on autopilot when

We've turned on the 'no switch' and not turned it off

We are short with our kids (then shame ourselves for it)

We are just 'trying to get through the day'

 

LINKS MENTIONED

What is subconscious thinking  and how it impacts your life (episode 76)

Productivity needs purpose (blog post)

I stopped enjoying my kids (episode 16) (blog post)

My husband's take on setting goals and LIFE ON PURPOSE together (episode 47)

Small things that can change your whole life (episode 78)

The Live Your Vision worksheets (get them here)

The Live your Values worksheets (get them here)

The Life on Purpose Workbook (find it here)

A one on one Strategy Session (book it here)

The Simple Christmas Planner (get yours here)

The Facebook Simple on Purpose community group (join it here)

Want to be part of the Simple Saturdays email? (sign up here)

 

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to this podcast. If you are new here, I'm so glad you're joining us to let you know a bit about me. I am living in small town Canada, and I am here every week to help you think of ways that you can simplify,slow down and show up for your actual life.

 

So I hope you guys have all had a good Halloween holiday, if that's something you celebrate, if you were in the simple Saturday's email, then you saw a picture I sent out of my kids costumes. And I think it's so fascinating to have more than one kid and see how different they are. 

 

My oldest was kind of true to himself in wearing a costume that he loved. It's a black panther costume, but no mask because that's how he rolls. It's just not practical. 

 

My second I got her draft from the thrift store, she jazzed it up, she put on a vest, she colored the hair, she put on earmuffs, and she called herself a DJ giraffe. 

 

And my third was just like, I'm gonna be a ninja, I got this Mom, don't worry about me. I'm going to tie a shirt on my head wear all black, I got it. And they're just all totally themselves shining through those Halloween costumes. 

 

Also, I was just so super relieved. I didn't have to deal with making or creating or helping with costumes in any way this year. They just all kind of took control of it and made it happen for themselves. We did a candy hunt in our yards for the kids. And then we watched a movie we watched on the moon above on Netflix. And it was cute. 

But now we're listening to the soundtrack multiple times a day. My kids know all the words they're singing.

Do small things has changed my whole life. 

Today I'm sharing how motherhood really brought me face to face with my own neediness and limiting beliefs that everything and everyone else was causing me problems. 

Becoming self-aware of how I had brought myself to this point in my own life made me realize I can't be my own solution. 

I needed God. I met God in my neediness and he showed me some hard truths on what needed changing. 

Because I didn't want to stay where I was, on autopilot. There was a lot of victimhood and resent and anxiety and poor health where I was - if I stayed there and kept the status quo I could see that my life in 2 . . . 5 . . . 10 years was not the life I wanted. 

But this isn't all a big bummer. I have something that can help you, something I learned on the way in TAKING ACTION to shift my life. 

This is the COMPOUND EFFECT

A concept from Darren Hardy that tells us the little things we do, consistently, have a cumulative impact on our lives. Both the good habits the bad habits - they accumulate as the days pass. 

I will share with you about 10 SMALL THINGS I have worked on over the past 5 years that I feel have made my life so much better, and some of the things I'm working on this year. 

And if you are feeling like you are ready to pick one small thing and start it, I have some question to help you identify what that could be. 

Because our life is like a ship, we need to adjust it's course a little bit each day so we can end up pretty darn close to our destination. AND REMEMBER, you can only steer a ship that is moving - we need to take ACTION!

 

(Full episode transcript is at the bottom)

All the fun links to help you learn more . . . 

Homemaker, on Purpose (available from Amazon, or as an eBook)

Are you making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Episode 67 )

What are limiting beliefs and how they impact you (Episode 76)

Showing up for your future self (Episode 21)

Want to make a change, here are three tips to help you get good at it (Episode 70)

The Life on Purpose Workbook (available as a digital copy or from Amazon)

The Live Your Values + Live Your Vision worksheets (you can find both right here)

Apply here to learn more about the Life on Purpose 1:1 Coaching Program 

Spending the month on GRATITUDE in the Facebook Community Group (join here, make sure to answer the entry questions)

 

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 FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi Friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and Life coach from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to The Simple on Purpose podcast. This is a place for you. If you are a mum and it just all feels like too much. The clutter, the life, the motherhood, the relationships I've been there. These are all signs that we're living on autopilot. That life is just happening at us rather than us being in our driver's seat, being proactive. Like I said, I've been there. And when I realized that I had living my life on autopilot, I wanted to take control. I wanted to live on purpose. I wanted to take action and build up the life, the home, the relationships, the mindsets that I craved, the one that God made me for, because you are made for more than anxiety and reactivity and victimhood, you are made for more than that. So this podcast is your place.

I aim to keep all these podcasts short and to the point, and to give you tips and ideas and encouragement and insights into simplifying, slowing down and showing up for your life on purpose. So I'm recording this podcast right now in an empty house. What, what my husband took our three kids to his parents' farm for the weekend. And he had all these chores he wanted to do there. And he said, you can come with me if you want, or you can just stay home. And I was like, let me think about that. Thank you. I'm going to be home. And I've been eating poutine in my PJ's watching TV in the tub at night. I've used like five dishes. It's glorious. I mean,

We all hear about the Sabbath and as moms, we are like, "Sure! When will we find this magical day of rest from our lives??"  Because rest sounds good, but there are still kids here asking me for snacks and to play with them!

This past weekend I had one of the most restful days I've ever had. It inspired me to share this episode (as I hit record planning to talk about something totally different) and tell you the ways that rest has refreshed me and why I encourage you to do it too!

To me, this day of rest came about from the overwhelming need to address some emotions that were piling up for me (I needed to feel my feelings!). I needed a day to listen to my body and listen to God. 

So I put everything on the back burner and had a day of BEING STILL, rather than DOING ALL THE THINGS!

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY RHYTHMS

In our home we fall into natural FAMILY RHYTHMS, it is how things get done. And one of our rhythms for a few years has been Church and Chill on Sundays. 

This gives us the framework to make space in our week for the things we value - even if we are still learning to appreciate them and do them well. 

A day of rest has been one of those things. 

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO REST

When we spend a day of rest, we get a chance to listen closer to our life, our bodies, to God

It also helps us to come out of the constant stress response we have been operating in. When we are stressed we are flooded with stress hormones and even using a different part of our brain. We need to find ways to come down from that stress response by letting our body feel like it is safe, so it can cue the brain to chill out. 

A day of rest lets your body move out of operating in a stress mode. 

It also gives you energy for the week ahead. I felt like I rested until I felt restless (which is rare of a Type 9). 

TEACHING OUR KIDS TO REST

Resting is a skill and it is one we can teach our kids too. 

This doesn't mean we roll into a Sunday telling our kids they are on their own - but to walk alongside them in learning how to do it. 

BECAUSE IT ISN'T COMFORTABLE

Just BEING for a day won't feel comfortable. It might even feel boring. But God calls us to it and it is worth making it a practice for your soul to be refreshed. 

CHOOSE THINGS THAT REFRESH YOU

Pay attention to how you get rest. Avoid things that actually drain you even though they don't require a lot of energy (ahem, social media!). 

 

The full transcript is available at the end of this post. 

FUN LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Sign up for Simple Saturdays (the virtual coffee date with me that comes out twice a month)

Check out Stef Gass (Mompreneur Mastermind podcast)

Saturday morning chores (the episode on how we started them in our home)

Family Rhythms (what ours are, and worksheets to make your own)

The Enneagram (I talk about it a lot, here are the basics)

Two episodes on mindset shifts that can help moms of babies and toddlers (episode 73  and episode 74)

The free printable of mindset shifts to empower your motherhood (get them right here)

Say HAAAAY on Instagram

Join the Simple Squad in the FB Community Group

 

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hey friends! It's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend, and life coach from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast here for moms like you, who want to have the reminder, and the encouragement that it is okay to simplify- it is okay to slow down and it is important to show up for your life on purpose.

That's what we are here to talk about. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. I am Shawna. I am a mom of three, a life coach, and you might know me from the simple on purpose dot ca blog. That's where I've been for about six or seven years before that if you were like an OG blog reader, remember dovetail blog, that was way back in the day. And there was also that period of time where I was at home with three kids.

I used to be a big skeptic of limiting mindsets. I mean, how would I have a thought I'm not even aware of? And how would this thought somehow keep me stuck?

Since I have learned more about the science behind it and how our thought life is really running the show I can see this everywhere. I can see how our mindsets limit our motherhood experience, our relationships, our drive, really - everything. 

FULL TRANSCRIPT IS AVAILABLE AT THE END OF THIS POST

Here are the main things I have learned that have really opened my eyes to the reality and practical application of limiting mindsets.

We have conscious thoughts and subconscious thoughts. This is the iceberg with our conscious thoughts on the surface.  The majority of our daily reactions, habits, routines are coming from our subconscious thoughts - they don't require our attention and energy.

Creating a whole network of subconscious thoughts is one of the three jobs of our brain - it keeps it efficient. If you stop and think, you can see a lot of areas of your life where you can notice the subconscious thoughts have taken over operation

The subconscious thoughts are like the program running on a computer. The program is developed through personal experience and exposure - our upbringing, our culture and our past really form a lot of subconscious thought patterns. 

The limiting mindsets are those mindsets that are subconscious - running in the background and they are disempowering you. They aren't serving you to grow in the life you want.

It is not our brain's job to filter out limiting mindsets from empowering mindsets - that is something we have to do on purpose. 

These mindsets matter because we SHOW UP from them. I use the CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) model in coaching and it informs us that our thoughts create our emotion and we behave differently depending on how we feel. So the reason it matters is our experience of life matters. And our experience of life (feelings and actions, and their outcomes) come from our thoughts (conscious and subconscious). 

In this episode I have some examples for you around money scarcity, kids should always obey, people don't care about what I have to say, I'm a victim of motherhood, etc. 

Links Mentioned 

Episode 71: I let my kids do whatever they wanted for a day (abundance day)

Simplify for fall [sign up here]

The Simple on Purpose FB group [make sure to answer the entry questions]

Episode 40 : The not-enough mindset [scarcity and abundance mindset]

Enneagram 101

The Life on Purpose Academy [closed until December, sign up here to be on the waitlist]

Episode 67: Making motherhood harder than it needs to be [mom martyr]

Find Shawna on Instagram 

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Episode Transcript

Hey friends, it's me, Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend, and Life Coach from simpleonpurpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This podcast is for the mom on the go. I aim to keep every episode under 20 minutes. And this podcast is your space. Your time to help you simplify slow down and show up for your life on purpose.

So it's full blown fall here in BC, Canada. My husband went on another hunting trip. That's what they're doing up here. They're filling up the freezers in Canada. So he went out for a hunting trip. And when he went last month as well, I did something called abundance day with my kids. You can catch that a few episodes ago where I just said yes to whatever they wanted. They called it, do whatever you want day. So I had another one for them and eat included an entire box of Halloween candy and an accessible amount of hours on the iPad playing video games. So at the end of the day, I was like, this is kind of their go to cause we're at home. And it's like everything I usually have restrictions around and I encourage them next time. Like think of something bigger, like think outside the box, you can do anything. Like what would you want to do?

Have you heard of hygge? It is the Danish word that embodies the sentiments of being cozy, connected and content. If you look it up on Pinterest you will see a lot of cozy spaces full of things like flickering candles, a lovely throw, some fuzzy socks. 

These all make a space feel cozier, but it takes more than that to experience hygge. 

I want to share three mindsets that will help you shift right into hygge and have that cozy, connected and content experience in your daily life. 

You may have heard me talk about hygge before in this episode where I compared it with minimalism and how the two were different and similar. If I lean one way, it is probably towards hygge. But perhaps that is because I have done all the decluttering already and my home feels simpler. 

But this Enneagram Type 9 especially loves hygge because of its focus on equality, balance, simplicity and contentment. 

If you want to add more hygge into your life this fall and winter then get yourself the FREE calendar on 30 days of hygge (get it here). 

If you love to look at hygge inspiration check out my Pinterest board

And since we are entering fall and we love to have cozy spaces in our home, let's get out homes ready with the Simplify for Fall Challenge (sign up here). 

It is so helpful to clear out your space and reset your home before Thanksgiving and Christmas take over our living space. And if you are prepping for Christmas already, check out the Simple Christmas Planner right here. This is the 2020 updated version! 

FULL TRANSCRIPT AT THE END OF THIS POST

 

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 Full transcript of this episode

Friends at Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend, and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. I am a Canadian mom in small town, Canada. I'm a mom of three cool kids.

I am a life coach at the Life on Purpose Academy, and I also do one on one life coaching. And you probably know me if you've hung around the Simple on Purpose blog at all. So welcome. I'm so glad you're here. The whole goal around this show is to give you just a quick check in with yourself on the things that matter to you and the things you want in your life. So we're going to remove the distractions that we're going to simplify, and we're going to show up on purpose. That's our mission. And one of my favorite ways to show up in my home in my life is hygge and hygge is that Danish word? It's spelled H Y G G E I needed. It's the Danish word that embodies that sense of connectedness and coziness. And you've probably seen pictures of fuzzy socks and candles and tea with steam coming out of it.

It's so cozy. It's so darn cozy. So I heard about this a few years ago, and I just love pinning pins about it. And if you've been on Pinterest, you probably seen the trend, the coffee mugs, the cozy blankets, a lot of Scandinavian inspired touches, but I want to encourage you that hygge is not a decor trend or a shopping list of cozy things to bring into your home, those help, but at his core, hygge v is a mindset. So over the centuries, the Danish people have embraced hygge as a way of life. They've brought these values into their daily life. And since they focus on making their long dark winter, an especially hygge time they've incorporated these things, quote unquote, things, stuff that we see as a representation of what hygge is, but it's not about the stuff who God is about. Sitting with your friends around a candle at the table sharing a simple snack before it's ever about the candles.

And what's on the table. It's about cuddling in a cozy blanket with a fan with the family for a movie before it's ever about the texture and textiles and a couch scape. That just looks so inviting. It's about sitting alone in the morning, enjoying the view out the window with a warm cup of coffee before it's ever about the cute mug and the fuzzy socks and the steam coming off the mug. So it's not a decor trend. It's a mindset you bring into your daily life.

When you are at home with a baby, or a toddler and a baby your whole world can feel boring and relentless. There are countless demands on your time, energy and body and it can be so overwhelming to show up every day in motherhood when you just want a hot minute alone!

You aren't alone. I have been there (hello three kids under four!). And I get how exhausting and draining motherhood can be.  Like how are people even making dinner!?! And what is life like without Paw Patrol??

As my kids have gotten older I have been seeing things from a new point of view. I can see my new mom self with more objectivity. I can see that there were some mindset shifts that really helped me between 1-3 kids and mindsets that have really helped me over the years of parenting. 

Your mindset can have a big impact on your motherhood experience and this isn't something to brush off. 

I say that as someone who did brush 'mindsets' off as woo woo and weak. But now that I am aware that my thoughts dictate my emotions, and I ACT from how I feel has changed my mind. 

I can see the connections with mindsets to my experience, my reality, everywhere. Especially in motherhood because momlife is an emotional struggle. 

There is overwhelm, resentment, frustration and exhaustion! And when I tell myself the worst-case scenario about me as a mom, and my kids, and my support system them I am showing up from all those feelings. 

I have some mindsets that I learned the long way in motherhood, and some I am still learning. I hope they empower you to mother on purpose, with more peace and presence!

PART 2 of2

EMPOWERING MINDSETS WE DISCUSS IN THIS EPISODE:

It's ok to be tired

It's ok to lose myself in motherhood

It's ok to NOT be awesome today

It takes a village

What matters most is how I show up

 

Get the printable PDF that goes with this episode and the previous episode

FUN LINKS!

The Life on Purpose Workbook

The Live Your Values worksheets

Mindset for the tired mom

How to be a good mom friend

Schedule a mini-session to see what life coaching can help you with 

Book a consult call to get started with life coaching 

FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE

He friends it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach from simpleonpurpose.ca. I am the author of the Life on Purpose Workbook. You can find that on Amazon,

The coach behind the Life on PurposeAcademy, the monthly group coaching program for moms and a mom of three cool kids.

So this is part two of two podcasts on the mindsets that will really help you in new motherhood this month in the life on purpose Academy, our monthly topic is mom on purpose. So this has been on my brain.

There's so many things I want to say about being a mom on purpose. And that's not because I'm an expert in it, but because it's something that I'm constantly trying to do and what I really want you to pay attention here in being a mom on purpose.

It isn't about getting your kids to listen and controlling their behaviors. It's about the mom you are, what's in your control, - you - you're in your control.

So I really want to focus on mindsets our mindsets matter because when we feel better, we can do better. We're motivated by how we feel. We take action from how we feel. So if we want to be taking positive action, empowered action, loving action that has to come from emotions that are positive, empowered, and loving.

If we are going about our day, feeling frustrated and helpless and resentful, the actions we take are fueled by that. That sounds exhausting, right? That sounds like our actions are probably just going to be a little bit weak, maybe a little bit desperate, maybe a little bit impulsive and shortsighted. So I'm offering you mindsets that I know would have helped me in early motherhood. And some of them, I learned through the course of my three babies, some of them I'm still learning. So in part one, we talked about honoring the feelings that you have and pa...

As the kids get older I find myself watching moms with babies and toddlers and remember what a hot mess it felt like.

I can look back on those early years with all of their demands on my time, my body, my energy and notice how I really fought it and how I probably made it harder than it needed to be. 

Hindsight is easier from the plateau than it is in the thick of the valley. 

I can see a lot of mindset shifts that would have helped me to show up better. 

I want to share them with you if you are a mama with small ones around and feel like you need a refresher for your heart and soul. 

 

Because our mindsets matter. The story we tell ourselves about our life, about motherhood, about our kids, that all matters.

It matters because we SHOW UP from this story. 

If this story makes us feel helpless, that is how we show up. If this story makes us feel frustrated, that is how we show up. 

I want to help you become aware of the stories you might be telling yourself here and offer you some new ways to look at things.

THIS IS PART ONE OF TWO

Emotional struggles and mindset shifts that we talk about in this episode:

It's ok to feel my tough feelings

It's ok to mourn my old life

Motherhood is hard, but I don't have to make it harder

 I can trust myself in motherhood (and move away from rules and perfectionism)

I am the mom meant for my kids

Have a plan and plan to change 

THE FULL TRANSCRIPTION IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE 

Get the printable PDF that goes with this episode and the following episode. 

 

 

FUN LINKS FOR MAMAS:

Faith and fertility

My thyroid, my frenemy (grave's disease)

My c-section and the feelings I was ashamed to admit

My VBAC Story

The baby who always cried

God's grace through difficult parenting

Settling, in motherhood

What moms of toddlers need to hear

Be the mom you are

How to be intentional with your family culture

Set your own family rhythms

The Life on Purpose Academy (group life coaching for moms, monthly topics and weekly calls)

Learn more about life coaching with Shawna 

Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email 

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE

(00:05):

Hey friends. I'm Shawna Your Nerdy Girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to Simple on Purpose.

(00:12):

I am here to remind you that it is okay to simplify it is okay to have a simple life. It is okay to have a simple home because when you simplify, when you remove the distractions, you get to show up for what really matters to you. And it doesn't look like anyone else. That's the best part.

(00:31):

And I aim to keep things simple here on what I bring to you. So I aim to keep these episodes less than 20 minutes, so you can listen to them very easily. And my simple Saturday's email that comes out twice a month. I know it's natural for people to be sending out emails weekly, but Hey, when I have less on my plate, I can do more better. If that makes sense, the less you have to think about the more you can just zone in, right where you are.

(00:57):

So guys, September, we're coming to a close, how has it been going for you? You might have kids in school. You might be doing distance learning or homeschooling, maybe a combination and wherever you are at. I want you to know that you're doing a good job. You have been making decisions that you feel are best for your family. You've been paying attention to what your kids need, trying to make adaptations to that. And one of the coolest things I've been seeing happening is people are realizing they're allowed to change their minds. There's people who are deciding to actually send their kids to school or take their kids out of school or switch curriculums or switch homeschooling to distance learning and vice versa. Wherever you are at. You're always allowed to change your mind because that is still a form of doing what is best for your family.

(01:44):

One question I get so often is "how to get my husband to get rid of all his crap?"

I don't have a magical formula to convince him to give up the ill-fitting company leather jacket from twenty years ago, or the questionable 'comedy' VHS from the 1990s - but I do have seven tips to help you navigate the conversations and process of decluttering with someone else in your home. 

When most of us decide to become a minimalist we have laser eyes for everything that has got to go - and a lot of it is OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF. Whether it is teens, grown kids, or your spouse these people like their things and do have some say over what happens to it. 

We often find that the issue moves away from the STUFF in your home and becomes a RELATIONSHIP issue.

So, these are tips on decluttering when your spouse isn't on board, but really, it's marriage advice too. Because the goal is to declutter our home while preserving the relationships of those in our home. We don't want to become minimalist at the cost of peace in our relationships. 

Seven Tips for When Your Spouse Doesn't Want to Declutter

1. Talk about the common vision

Sounds too simple right? But the more you can talk about the vision you each have for your space, the more you can find places where your vision overlaps and get excited about what you do agree on. 

Having a vision is always more motivating because you are doing tasks for the sake of moving towards your vision rather than doing tasks for the sake of chores. 

Use this free worksheet to set some vision for your home

 

2. Quit trying to change them 

If ex-boyfriends have taught us nothing it is that you cannot change people. 

And really, when you feel like the person you love wishes you were different it feels crappy. It lays the foundation for resentment. 

There is a difference in encouraging them to be their best, vs manipulating and shaming them for who they are 

 

3. Declutter your own stuff first

The most common piece of advice, for a good reason. 

Actions speak louder than words.

And you really don't need a lot of words when your partner can see you feel lighter and have more space and mental clarity in your home. 

 

4. Let communal items have communal input

I would pile up the 'communal items' that I thought we should get rid of and offered my husband a chance to go through them and grab what he wanted. 

Because really, this is his home too and his stuff too. And we would all want someone to give us say about the things we wish to keep in our home. 

 

5. Learn their why

You may not agree that your husband needs to keep the Pottie Tang VHS, but you can still ask why he wishes to..... like really, why???

Because we all keep things for a reason and that reason doesn't need to make sense to us - just knowing they know their reason and they like it can let you off the hook of making this the issue you have conflict over. 

 

6. Offer support 

It is a hard step, but if you are willing to offer your support in helping them organize things it can be a game-changer. 

It shows you are willing to let them figure things out, it shows you are empowering them to create the space they want too, and it gets things more organized which just feels like less clutter. 

 

7. Let it be ok to disagree

Marriage is so weird right!? It is putting two different people, with different opinions, different tastes, different views on the world into ONE HOME. It is not easy and it is not without differences, which can feel like conflict.

It is ok to not see eye to eye. It is normal to disagree with your spouse. 

As I mentioned in this episode, peace at all costs is not peace. At the end of the day, WHAT is in your home matters less than WHO is in there with you making it feel like home. 

 

If this has helped you....

If you have like this episode, please share it with someone else who can use it. 

The easiest way to do that is to take a screenshot and share it to I...

The other day I let my kids do whatever they wanted for a whole day. I called it Abundance Day. It was a day of me saying yes instead of no.  . .  because I am a mom who is saying NO a lot. 

I was solo parenting for a week and spent the first day being a parent who says yes, a step towards more abundant parenting.  Parenting from a place of abundance rather than withholding. Not that there is anything wrong with limits and withholding in the sake of teaching them skills and growing them into people who can manage frustrations and life - but sometimes I just want to shower them with YES and abundance with them earning it -  because God does not make us earn His abundance.  God gives us blessings and abundance in a variety of ways and I want them to experience the reality of that in a tangible way so they can also see it is true in how God provides for us. 

 

 

Abundance Day was very eye-opening in terms of how my kids chose to spend their time, the decisions they made and the lessons they told me they learned at the end of it.  

It was a good lesson for me too, to see where I can give them more freedom to make their own choices and to see where I can teach them some more skills to make better decisions. 

We did Abundance Day on the first day of my husband's hunting trip, he was gone for a week.  I think it was a fun intro into my week of solo parenting. Also, over the years of him going on this trip, I've learned a few things that make this week a lot easier.

Four tips to prep for a week of solo parenting

Plan what makes my life easier, especially meals. 

Keep checking in with their feelings, because they have lots of em

Have proactive conversations ahead of time

Have fun with them

 

When I turned 38 last month I quietly told myself that I wanted to actively seek an abundance mindset in my life. I made this a birthday resolution for myself.  I want to focus on abundant parenting and I know that I will also be working on it in these areas too:

Areas of my life to practice an abundance mindset:

In my work - taking my time with things I wish happened sooner and putting limits on how much I do, knowing what I do is enough

In my time - taking time to slow down and enjoy my life and my people instead of saying ‘there isn’t enough time’

In my relationships - focussing on nurturing the close relationships I have instead of feeling like all relationships need to be close - and just showing up in those relationships remembering that my friend’s love is abundant and I don’t have to earn it

In my food - I’m the kitchen warden and I can see a ton of scarcity mindset around food and preparing it and conserving it. 

 

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Links mentioned

Simplify For Fall (sign up here for the free 5-day challenge that starts October 19th)

Join the Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group (make sure to answer the three entry questions)

Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email

Find me on Instagram 

Abundance vs Scarcity Mindset (the blog post) (the podcast episode)

Family Meetings (the blog post)

When I stopped enjoying my kids (the blog post) (the podcast episode)

Whenever we know where we WANT to go, but getting there, doing the work can meet a lot of hurdles. 

One big hurdle is this desire we have to ‘get good’ at the thing. 

What do you want to get good at? Meal planning, parenting, waking up early, a hobby, building a business . . . 

What will it take for you to get good at it?  It isn’t just about mastering the skill/the thing itself  - it is about the things we can do that help us master the skill itself - the stepping stones that get us there. 

 

Here are three tips I have for you if you want to DO THE WORK of getting good at something:

Consider how you are measuring success - are you stuck in all or nothing thinking? How does that keep you from making progress?

Ask yourself how you handle failure - could it be true that you cannot fail? I know it sounds naive, but there can be a lot of peace in looking for the truth in this

Look at how you are motivating yourself - do you rely on negative motivation to slog your way through it? What would it look like to move into positive motivation?

BONUS: Are you WILLING to be bad at something in order to get good at something?

 

Links Mentioned

The Making Change Challenge (sign up for it right here, it will come to your inbox)

All podcast episodes from Simple on Purpose

Growth mindset podcast episode

Tracking your habits blog post

One small habit blog post

The Life on Purpose Workbook

Simple Saturdays emails (sign up here)

The Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group (make sure to answer the entry questions)

Simple on Purpose on Instagram

The enneagram, what it is and why I love it blog post