Simplify Complexity: Christian Relationship Advice & Help

Many people love dancing. All over the world you’ll find every culture has some form of dance. Why? What is it about dancing that people love? For some, they love to dance because it brings joy and freedom. For others, dance is an expression of worship. In America today, many use it as a form of conditioning and relieving stress, but did you know dancing can actually help your relationship? Yes you heard that correctly, dancing can help your relationship. 

There are many reasons why dancing can positively impact ones marriage. For starters, it’s a great way for a couple to spend quality time together. Even more important, there are philosophical principles one can apply from ballroom dancing to their relationship. 

In this podcast we continue part 2 our discussion with, Bob and Roxanne Anderson on the show to share concepts from their book, The Marriage Dance. In their book they highlight similarities between ballroom dancing and the harmony needed for marriage. We want to encourage you to improve your relationship, by learning to dance together. If you haven’t listen to part 1 please check as well.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Guests Bob & Roxanne Anderson

• Eph. 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Image Copyright mavoimage, 123RF Photos

The post How Can Dancing Help Your Relationship? (Part 2) Ep:108b appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Many people love dancing. All over the world you’ll find every culture has some form of dance. Why? What is it about dancing that people love? For some, they love to dance because it brings joy and freedom. For others, dance is an expression of worship. In America today, many use it as a form of conditioning and relieving stress, but did you know dancing can actually help your relationship? Yes you heard that correctly, dancing can help your relationship.

There are many reasons why dancing can positively impact ones marriage. For starters, it’s a great way for a couple to spend quality time together. Even more important, there are philosophical principles one can apply from ballroom dancing to their relationship.

In this podcast, I’ve invited Bob and Roxanne Anderson on the show to share concepts from their book, The Marriage Dance. In their book they highlight similarities between ballroom dancing and the harmony needed for marriage. We want to encourage you to improve your relationship, by learning to dance together.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Guests Bob & Roxanne Anderson

• Eph. 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Image Copyright mavoimage, 123RF Photos

The post How Can Dancing Help Your Relationship? (Part 1) Ep:108 appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

As a result of COVID 19, people all over the world are spending more time at home to practice social distancing. Some have poked fun at this by saying countries will see a rise in child births, and calling them quarantine babies. While spending time together may result in some couples having more sex, for others it may result in more arguments, and a rise in what could be called quarantine divorces. Therefore we thought a timely relationship topic would be healthy conflict resolution tips.

For some these disputes are small, and for others they can be big. Yet, regardless of their size, how you deal with a conflict is what matters. Screaming to get your point across, or ignoring an issue are not helpful to bringing about conflict resolution.

Relationship conflict resolution is a learned behavior that we should all commit to learning. When there is a disagreement it’s important that there is resolve to that disagreement. Otherwise, resentment will begin to tare a couple apart as unresolved issues build up. What steps are you taking to deal with your relationship disagreements?

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald

Key Scriptures:

• James 1:19-20   So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
• Eph. 4:26-32 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

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True love is more than words, it’s an action. Christ the author of love demonstrated love by sacrificing Himself for humanity. People demonstrate love by letting others in their heart, and giving a piece of themselves to another. Unfortunately, when giving someone your love, there is the potential of someone abusing that love. There is the potential of being hurt. If you had to choose between loved & lost or never loved at all, which would you choose?

Most people would agree that it is better to have loved and lost, but this can be easily said if you’ve never been deeply hurt. Deep hurt can leave deep scars. Scars that take time to heal and can be sensitive to touch. Many close themselves off to others as a result of hurt. Whether consciously or unconsciously the outcome is the same; you don’t let people in, because you don’t want to lose in love.

In this podcast we want to talk loved & lost vs never loved at all. Is it okay to shut yourself off from love to avoid being hurt? Are there benefits of loving even at the cost of being hurt. I was grateful to have guest host Amanda from the podcast Confessions of a Christian Chick join us for this discussion.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Amanda Adegboyege

• For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7, NKJV).
• These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends (John 15:11–13, NKJV).

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Sometimes there are terms mentioned within the church that can be confusing. What something means within one culture can sometimes be different in another. This is also true for those committed to a faith and for those not familiar with it. Head of household is a Christian term that applies to the leadership role a husband is given within a marriage.

There are some who take offense to the idea that the man is to be the leader of the family. In some cases this is a result of cultural changes. In other cases this is due to husbands abusing the role of leadership, mistaking it with dictatorship, and trying to assert leadership through power and force.

True leadership is managing a level of responsibilities by example and with gentleness. Christ is the perfect example of leadership, who served and sacrificed Himself for those He led. This is God’s desire for the husband when leading his family.

In this podcast we will take a close look at the role of the husband. Our goal is to expose some of the myths around leadership, and how a husband can be a godly leader for his family.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald

• Eph. 5:22   Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
• Eph. 5:25   Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• 1Pet. 3:7   You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

The post What does it Mean to be Head of Household? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

When looking for a possible spouse we often come across concerns about the person or the relationship. These are what some might call red flags. Troubling thoughts, feelings, or flaws that could be problematic to the success of a relationship.

There some who in desiring a relationship so badly they over look obvious challenges about a person or the compatibility of them as a couple. Ignoring challenges, doesn’t fix them. They get bigger and bigger often resulting in a cataclysmic ending.

Though RED FLAGS are something we don’t want to ignore, we also want to have a good perspective as how to approach them. Some within relationships can view any indifference as a red flag, leading them to abandon what could be. This too is problematic because “no one” is perfect.

In this podcast episode we explore Red Flags (troubling concerns, feelings, or flaws). How should you approach red flags while dating? What are the types of concerns you should end the relationship immediately? If you do choose to move forward in a relationship where red flags exist, how should you approach them? This is an extremely important topic on dating and courting, so please share it with a friend.

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

• Matt 7:15-20 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them.
• Prov. 15:14 The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.

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Sometimes you just need a quick encouragement to carry you through your day, or in this case your weekend. Our Weekend Snippets take key talking points from past episodes to highlight relationship principles you can carry into your weekend. This weeks highlight focuses on privacy, trust and secrets.

Don’t ignore the importance of building trust in a relationship, and struggles to share secrets with your spouse. Our challenge this weekend is to consider why you might struggle to share parts of your life with your spouse and begin to address it rather than ignoring it. The full episode is Passwords: To Share or Not to Share, published 02/21/2017. Enjoy the snippet, or feel free to click the link to listen to the whole episode.

Do you have a favorite moment from one of our past shows? We want to hear from you. Contact us with an episode that has blessed you for a future Weekend Snippet. 

Hosted By Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

The post Weekend Snippet #06: Privacy, Trust, and Secrets appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Culturally we live in a time when people are in love with the idea of being in love. Today, love has become more of a feeling verses an action taken. It’s been said that relationships are work, but what this is referring to is the effort needed to preserve a relationship from deteriorating. It is for this reason that our final principal to transforming your relationship is the act of love.

Principles are fundamental truths that surround us and govern us. These truths if applied can have a positive impact upon your life, but if ignored can lead to calamity. This is also true for relationships. You are probably reading this because you want to see change in your relationship. Yet, how do you do it?

The forth and final principle we will address to transforming your relationship is, the act of love. In this podcast we’ll explore what it means to put love into action, and point out practical ways you can apply it personally. Remember, you can tell someone you love them, but nothing speaks it louder than your actions.

1. Know your why
2. Showing compassion
3. Active Listening

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

• 1 Cor. 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
• John 13:34-45 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

The post 4 Principles to Transform your Relationship (4 of 4 The Act of Love) Ep:103 appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Sometimes we just need to tell ourselves to shut up and listen. Active listening is a key building block to better communication. Bad communication I believe is the number one cause for divorce. The challenge with communication, is people believe because they know how to talk, they know how to communicate. Unfortunately this is not true. Good communication is a learned behavior.

Principles are fundamental truths that surround us and govern us. These truths if applied can have a positive impact upon your life, but if ignored can lead to calamity. This is also true for relationships. You are probably reading this because you want to see change in your relationship life. Yet, how do you transform your relationship?

The third principle we will address to transforming your relationship is, active listening. Active listening is more than that just hearing. In this podcast we will explore what it mean to be an active listener and will point our practical ways you can apply it in your relationship.

1. Knowing your Why
2. Showing Compassion
3. Active Listening
4. The Act of Love

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

• Proverbs 1:5 “Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.”
• James 1:19 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”.
• Proverbs 25:12 “Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.”
• Matthew 11:15 “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

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Mercy is a word people use all the time, but how many of us truly understand what mercy is and how important it is to a relationship. The impact of showing compassion in your relationship can not be understated. Mercy is critical to the health of our connection with God, and this is true to our connection with one another.

Principles are fundamental truths that surround us and govern us. These truths if applied can have a positive impact upon your life, but if ignored can lead to calamity. This is also true for relationships. You are probably reading this because you want to see change in your relationship life. Yet, how do you transform your relationship?

The second principle we want to address is, showing compassion in your relationship. In this podcast we will explore the principle of mercy. We’ll discuss how it applies to you and your relationship. We’ll also give practical applications and benefits for edification.

1. Knowing your Why
2. Showing Compassion
3. Active Listening
4. The Act of Love

Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald

• Gal. 6:1  Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
• Matt. 6:14     “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
• Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Photo Copy Right by Aleksandr Davydov 123rf Photo

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