Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

This is it! The penultimate episode before 50th episode extravaganza!

You'll swoon for June as the boys discover that there is no safe joke to be made about Caitlyn Jenner.  They instead decide to tackle stories such as a Big Trouble In Little China reboot, a Jack Bauer spinoff, and a James Bond free for all on Simplistic Showcase.  Justin and DJ later pay off a debt and discuss the 2014 horror anomaly that is Ouija.  A conversation that introduces not one, not two, but three new characters.  There is also the introduction of an old game played in a new way known as Simplistic Password.  And The ongoing mystery between the boys and Julie reaches its climax.

Oh and Shia Labeouf closes out the show.

All this and more on a highly questionable, slightly offensive, Smokey and the Bandit themed episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

5:23 - Simplistic Showcase

37:31 - A Simplistic Reviewer Always Pays His Debts

57:35 - Simplistic Password

Show Notes

Mr. Bucket

Shia Labeouf Rant

Ouija

Caitlyn Jenner

A Different World

Night Court

Smokey and the Bandit

Music Notes

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul

The Stakes Is High By De La Soul

Game Of Thrones Remix By TDubb 

Eastbound And Down By Jerry Reed

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

It's Monday 

Movie Night

Movie Commentary!

Police Academy 2: 

Their First Assignment

1985 / Comedy / 87 mins

We already watched the classic Police Academy. 

So now we continue this marathon with its sequel Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.

Many movie franchises have had equality or superior sequels. Movie franchises like The Godfather, The Dark Knight, Star Wars. Police Academy 2 is not one of them. In fact its the complete opposite and is a pretty bad film with only one good take away, Zed.

So sit back with the popcorn as we try to get though by having a few laughs at the expense of this weak sequel.

Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

In honor of Mother's Day, The Simplistic Reviews Podcast has assembled their regular team of badass motherf*%kers to ring in the month of May. They touch on Suicide Squad...they touch on the Joss Whedon haters...they touch on Tom Brady's balls...all in an effort to entertain you.  So sit back, give it a listen, and say hello to your mother for me.

6:37 Simplistic Showcase

36:53 TV Roundup

59:44 Hey F*%khead

Also as a special treat...here is an outtake that was too ridiculous not to share with the world

Show Notes

Redrum

Ally McBeal

Andy Kaufman

Lord Humongous

Music Notes

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul

The Great Escape Theme By Paul Bateman

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

You might be asking yourself, "What?! Another Simplistic Reviews Podcast?  You mean these guys are actually getting off of their ass and putting out content for the public to consume?"  Yes, it might sound crazy, but.....uh....yeah....another podcast....from us.....Simplistic Reviews.

As we get closer and closer to our grandest episode so far; Number 50, we look back at our lives and search for meaning, apparently that means we bring up Bill Cosby again, the fact that Iceman is now gay, Donatello is dead, and fantasize about Moira Quirk in that sexy referee outfit...mmmmmm.....

All this, and our newest segment, Simply Say Anything, where we hold a radio over our head and praise the likes of Lena Dunham, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, and explain why Quentin Tarantino is actually the worst director in modern cinema.  Have we lost our minds.....maybe....but we're not telling, and you'll just have to listen to this month's SIMPLISTIC REVIEWS PODCAST!!!!  WHY AM I YELLING...IN PRINT?!?!?!

  SHOW NOTES

Moira Quirk

Spider-man Shortlist

Tarantino in Sleep With Me

Donny is Dead

Iceman Gay?

Mark Summers' non-Double Dare accident

MUSIC NOTES

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul

In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel

Nickelodeon GUTS theme

Human Beings By Van Halen

Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest

Movie Commentary Time!

Slaughter High

1986 - 90 mins - Slasher/Horror

Today we watch and make fun of the 90 min B-Slasher film, Slaughter High. We know what you are saying, "It's finally here!" Since the Podcast gang has been talking about Slaughter High numerous times on Podcasts and even a episode on Unboxing/Reviews.

Slaughter High is about eight people that are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge. Simple and to the point but it's got its issues.

Slaughter High is a fun, entertaining film of which everyone should see. If you haven't this is the perfect time to watch!

Also this Movie Commentary is sponsor by Tide Stick!

Remember kids, if you go on a murderous rampage bring along a Tide Stick!

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Today is movie commentary day! Today we watch the one and only Police Academy.

There isn't another movie in the likes of Police Academy. I mean how many movies include a human soundboard, extreme racism, a man in a horses ass and a surprise blow job to a 100 year old man (that could possibly be or not be by Steve Guttenberg).

Sounds like the perfect ingredients for the perfect film right? Well it is one of the funniest comedies ever made. So cue up that VHS copy of Police Academy and prepare to laugh at one of the more ridiculous comedies ever made.

 SHOW NOTES

Vampire Academy Joke

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Play-Doh!  YA Vamp movies! Good Friday & Passover Combined!  Get ready for the most eclectic episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast yet.  Justin and DJ finally pay their debts to Matthew by finally reviewing Vampire Academy.  And by reviewing...we mean trashing the hell out of it.  They also discuss how Fox does something right with Deadpool...then something way, way wrong with Play-Doh.  They also get their Artful Dodger on with the return of the segment Get Your Hand Out My Pocket.  Guard your jewels in this Holy edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

  SHOW NOTES

Play-Doh

Vampire Academy

Mad Max: Fury Road

Spectre

Best of Pennywise

Deadpool April Fools

We're No Angels

MUSIC NOTES

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul

Plain Jane By Sid Phillips

The He-Man Opening That The Boys Are Spoofing

Tonight's Movie Commentary is a little unknown film called

Nobody's Perfect

1990 - PG13 - 90mins - Comedy

Starring the famous Lowe brother, Chad Lowe. Nobody's Perfect is about Stephen (possibly looking for a way to cross dress) is a tennis loving college student you falls for Shelly a chick who apparently can't pick the right guys. To get closer Stephen becomes Stephanie to befriend Shelly. It's all wacky fun from there...oh and rape. 

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

The Ides of March Approaches...and so does the March 2015 edition the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  On this episode the boys chastise the person responsible for allowing a 72 year old Harrison Ford into an airplane.  Justin discovers a brand new...um...old show that is hilarious in all the right ways.  DJ questions if the Tommy Lee Jones we've seen in public is the real Tommy Lee Jones.  And Matt saves the lives of 3 people while eradicating another from existence.  All that and more on this 1.21 gigawatt powered episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

 SHOW NOTES

1.21 gigawatts 

Danger 5

Harrison Ford plane crash

Diablo Barbie

Age of Ultron Trailer

Danny Elfman Music in Age of Ultron 

Tommy Lee Jones commercial

Black & Blue or White & Gold Dress

MUSIC NOTES

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Back To The Future Theme By Alan Silvestri 

Back To The Future II Theme By Alan Silvestri

Back To The Future III Theme By Alan Silvestri

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Welcome Back By Mase

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

Hooray for Hollywood? Naw, it's time to skewer Hollywood and rip them and new one, of course while picking the winner's of this year's Academy Awards.

The boys go over all the essential categories from Best Score all the way to the grand-daddy of them all; "the award where they could have had 10 nominations, but they decided to go with eight."

Will "Boyhood" be this year's big winner? Will "Birdman" fly above the competition? Why was "Gone Girl" only nominated for one award? Why is the Academy in love with films that feature people with disabling diseases?  Is it a fetish that they secretly have that we don't know about?

All this and much more as the Simplistic Reviews Crew gives Hollywood the old "what-for."

Show Notes:

Hugh Jackman Hopping At Tony Awards

Music Notes: 

Ecstasy of Gold Remix By Ennio Morricone,

Blinded By The Lights By Streets,

That I'm Dreaming By Noel

If you're not interested in our ramblings, just check out our picks below:

Best Animated Feature*

Matt: 

Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: Big Hero 6

DJ: 

Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Justin: 

Should Win: The Boxtrolls / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2

*Matt and DJ know that "The Lego Movie" isn't nominated, and it's a crime that it isn't.

Best Musical Score

Matt:

Should Win: The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: The Theory of Everything

DJ:

Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: The Theory of Everything

Justin:

Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: Interstellar

Best Adapted Screenplay/Best Original Screenplay

Matt:

Should Win: Inherent Vice & Birdman / Will Win: American Sniper & Birdman

DJ:

Should Win: Whiplash & Birdman / Will Win: Whiplash & Birdman

Justin:

Should Win: The Theory of Everything & The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Sniper & Birdman

Best Cinematography

Matt:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman

DJ:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman

Justin:

Should Win: Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Birdman

Best Director

Matt:

Should Win: Boyhood / Will Win: Boyhood

DJ:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood

Justin:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood

Best Supporting Actress

Matt:

Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette

DJ:

Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette

Justin:

Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor

Matt

Should Win: Edward Norton / Will Win: J.K. Simmons

DJ:

Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons

Justin:

Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons

Best Actress

Matt:

Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore

DJ:

Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore

Justin:

Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore

Best Actor*

Matt:

Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne

DJ:

Should Win: Jake Gyllenhaal / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne

Justin:

Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Bradley Cooper

*DJ understands Jake isn't nominated for "Nightcrawler" but he should have been.

Best Picture

Matt:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman

DJ:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood

Justin:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood