Simplistic Reviews Podcasts

Friday Night Movie Night!

Tagline: Survival the ultimate test...

The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song "Against the Ninja," Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world's smelliest underbelly. It'll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the "stupid cocaine"

...and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!

Podcast Notes

Deleted Scene "Music Store"

Music

Dragon Sound "Friends"

Dragon Sound "Against The Ninja"

Miami Connection OST - Jon McCallum - Trainyard

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On this mid-February edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys attempt to break the record for most obscenities and deplorable subject matter brought up while still staying under the guise of a film and television review program.  Jairo from the True Bromance Film Podcast stops by to help them accomplish their mission.  They discuss the Spidey-Pocalypse...they discuss Michael Jordan's Hitler mustache....they disgrace anyone who watched 50 Shades of Grey...and they get all their frustrations out on Hollywood with one of their favorite games, Hey F*%khead.  All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  Seriously...take a shot whenever you hear an F-bomb. You'll be in rehab around halfway through

SHOW NOTES

Michael Jordan Hitler Mustache

Rinko Kikuchi

The Nothing from The Neverending Story

The Wolf

MUSIC NOTES

Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul

20/20 Theme

Inside The Actors Studio Theme By Angelo Badalamenti

Great Escape Theme By Elmer Bernstein

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

In this Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, we...um...don't talk about the Super Bowl.  We do talk to Dan Clark from The Talking In Circles Podcast.  Dan gives us his take on Pratt possibly being cast as Indiana Jones. In exchange for his well thought out analysis the boys force him to share deep dark secrets about himself on a segment we like to call Simply Ashamed.  DJ reveals how he lost his one true love, Matt reveals a hidden musical talent, and all three of them take great pleasure in the absurdity of the film Lean On Me.  All this and more on this Super Bowl/Non Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

SHOW NOTES

Oscar Mayer Weinermobile

Lean On Me

A Recorder

Black Mirror Pig Joke

Joker Explains How He Corrupted Harvey Dent

Purple Man

Bruce Jenner Is A Woman Now

MUSIC NOTES

Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

It's A Shame Remix By The Spinners

Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

It's a brand new year and a brand new episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  This month the boys are not just joined by a Vern...they are joined by The Vern from The As You Watch Podcast and The Vern's Video Video Vortex.  They pop his Simplistic cherry with a good ol' game of Kill, F&%k, Marry.  And like all guests, the boys decide to go Inside The Podcaster...yes...it's as gross as it sounds.  Also...Julie and Vern admit their feeling for each other.  All this and more on this January 2015 edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

Show Notes

Bill Cosby

Deadpool Dead

No Bourne Crossover

Wolverine Dead

Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch No Longer Mutants

Fantastic Four Josh Trank Set Report

Batman v Superman Split

Music Notes

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme

G.I. Joe Theme

Thundercats Theme

Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul

Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

You thought you might have heard the last of us this year.......uh, uh, uh.  The Best...The Worst...The Most Anticipated...And More!  The boys at Simplistic Reviews close off 2014 with a conversation about the best and worst films of the year. They also take a look into the future and geek out about their most anticipated films of 2015. Justin begs for movies in the future to make him laugh, Matt admits to having a thing for maniacs, DJ’s blood pressure spikes when talking about his most hated film, Julie makes an insensitive joke about North Korea, which more than likely prompts the site’s eventual hacking.  Download and listen...while you can.

NOTES

Sigmund Freud Joke Explanation

BB-8

Terminator Genisys Trailer

London Has Fallen

The Sony Hack & Leaks

MUSIC

Luchini by Camp Lo

House of the King by Focus

Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears

We Gotta Get Outta This Place by The Animals...OUR NEW 2015 CLOSING THEME SONG!

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

Ho-Ho-Holy Sh%t!   It's December again and the boys at Simplistic Reviews has a show full of holiday cheer.  They've got partridges...pear trees....dreidels...Santa letters/threats...Olaf the snowman from Frozen...black stormtroopers...Kevin Feige: Stand-Up Comedian...megalomaniac Mickey Mouse...holiday movie spoilers...all that and more on the 2014 Holiday Edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes:

Star Wars Trailer

Suicide Squad Casting

Spectre

Stand-Up Comedian from the 80s Fashion

Music Notes:

Christmas Is All Around Us By Billy Mack

My Flows is Tight By Lord Digga

Christmas Vacation By Mavis Staples

Christmas Time Is Here By The Vince Guaraldi Trio 

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So it’s Thanksgiving when everyone is thankful. Here at Simplistic Reviews we’re thankful for some great films including some really crappy ones. But this time we decided today was the best to explore one the greatest films Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Everyone come! Sit around the table. Pour a glass of whatever wets your whistle.

Grab your turkey and stuffing, and make sure you save some room for a SR Movie Commentary!

Today we explore the greatness that is John Hughes and touch up on our geography. We will laugh and shed a tear. We’ll talk about a fantastic soundtrack and do you have any room for some Bacon, some Kevin Bacon!?!?

Everyone sit around the fire and let’s listen to Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary of Planes, Trains and Automobiles!

Eh well maybe you shouldn’t listen to this SR Movie Commentary with the family at Thanksgiving…or should you? Only one way to find out right?

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On this Spooktacular Halloween edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys welcome back JD Duran from Insession Film.  Other than further corrupting this classy professional podcaster...the boys talk about Marvel's HUGE announcements, DC's HUGE announcements, gush over The Flash, bitch more about Gotham, comment on the Boardwalk Empire finale, Walking Dead premiere, and consider NBC's Constantine.  JD also gets to moderate our second ever draft, which this time involves the boys trying to make their best monster squad.  It's a razor 'blade in the apple' sort of show that you don't want to miss.

Insession Film

Cenobites

The Monster Squad

Marvel Film Slate

DC Film Slate

Age Of Ultron Teaser

Age Of Ultron Extended

Ever See Chinatown Motherf@%ker?!

Skinny Zach Galafanakis

Jason Biggs pissing on Chelsea Handler

MUSIC NOTES

"Nightmare On My Street" By DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

"Autumn Thunder" By Sam Spence

"My Flows Is Tight" By Lord Digga

"Inside The Actors Studio" By Angelo Badalamenti

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As fall descends across the land, the Simplistic Reviews Podcast is the funk of 40,000 years. In this month's edition, the boys spring forward and fall back to poking fun at Shia LeBeouf's childhood proclivities, Urban Dictionary's more interesting entries, and Jeremy Renner's lackadaisical attitude toward his career.  All while still having time to pay a little John Singleton penance.

As you might remember, Justin and Matt were unlucky enough to lose a game of Simply Quotable a couple of month's back and had to watch the 2001 hood classic, Baby Boy.  To make a long story short, there is dick sniffing, Snoop Dogg shooting, and men-inside-giant-wombs talk.

The boys also tackle the news Bob Barker style in a new segment called Simplistic Showcase.  There is big money, big prizes, and a variety of obscenities. 

All of this, plus our take on Fox's Gotham, how Boardwalk Empire is doing so far, and soooooooo much more, on this month's Simplistic Reviews Podcast for October.

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

Show Notes:

Blumpkin

Tetris Movie

Charlie Countryman

Baby Boy got the sniffles

Inherent Vice

DJ's Hidden Princess Bride Reference

Matt's Hidden Big Lebowski Reference Slaughter Film Action Movie Time Machine

Music Notes:

Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul

Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon

Game of Thrones Theme Remix

White Lines By Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel

My Flows is Tight By Lord Digga

Pure Imagination By Gene Wilder

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 The gang is back with another Movie Commentary! After Lethal Weapon 2 what film could the gang follow with but the classic masterpiece known as, DIE HARD! That's right HANS! Take your shoes off and curl those toes on the carpet, we are going to start to blow some sh%t up! Get your Alan Rickman voice ready and hold on tight because one of the greatest action films with some of the most amazing deaths may also be one of the greatest Christmas films.  That also means Ode to Joy will be playing in your ear for a solid week.

So lets get our kill on!

(Please note: Simplistic Reviews does not condone real killing, only in your imagination, we are all for that ;)

Show Notes:

Alan Rickman's Answering Machine

Let's order a pizza!

Bill Clay

Music Notes:

Die Hard Ode To Joy 

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY