Simply Enough

Have you ever felt unworthy of feeling pride? Or paradoxically, do you view pride as shameful?  Consider that pride isn’t always hubris and comparative. We can reframe how we look at the word “pride”.  Mowing with or beyond heroes and holidays, pride can just mean grounded self acceptance, rather than shame, for who you are.   A value of self worth equal to others.  An individual declaration of enoughness, and a universal message to which all can have access.   Simply an internal smile you can keep for yourself so you can say “I am worthy and I am enough, just as I am.” Say it; and mean it, with pride and with love. 

Have you ever felt uncomfortable because of mixed emotions, or even conflicting emotions? We rarely feel one thing at a time. You don’t have to choose, push away or talk yourself out of either one emotion or the other. They can exist as a “both” and an “and”!  Allow the coexistence of the emotions. In fact, one emotion is likely because of the existence of the other and is often potentiated because of it! Name the emotions, because the subtle nuances of the emotions, once recognized, allow for self regulation. And in relationships, it’s actually something somewhere in the complexity that allows us to find at least one thing that we connect and share in the human experience.  While we are multifaceted individuals with complex emotions, concurrently we are simply enough, just as we are.  

Have you ever felt upset or overwhelmed by a situation? You don’t have to! It’s not the circumstance that’s upsetting you. It’s your thoughts about the situation that’s upsetting you. A situation or circumstance might be fact, as is.  But the experience of it actually is under our control. Might there be a different thought you can have about it? Thoughts are actually under our control, even if they feel automatic. You have them, then look at them and you get to choose which to keep or drop.  Give yourself a hug, and know that one thought or that one feeling is not the only one you can have, and certainly is not the definition of you.  Because you are simply enough, just as you are.  

Have you ever talked yourself out of something you really wanted to do? Whose voice are you hearing, coming up with all the reasons not to move forward? Let in those 3 magic words-- Oh Screw It, along with No Big Deal, Just Do It, Go For It and Let It Go! Don't suppress what's authentic to you and don't wait to be without fear! Courage is doing it anyway in the face of that discomfort. Remove the self-imposed shackles of what other people think or what your inner saboteur says. Seek possibility and opportunity more than permission, and Go Get It! And believe this 3 word mantra-- You Are Enough! 

Like Taylor Swift, have you ever looked back on your life as eras? It’s good to reflect back and gain wisdom to move forward.  Lessons can be learned from patterns of behavior or types of people that show up in multiple eras. And the good news is that we don't have to see life in finite labels of definitive beginnings and endings, but instead is a continuum of seasons.  Fresh starts and new beginnings can always be ahead if you choose!

Have you ever thought about what your "brand" is? It can be a look or a logo, but can also be a principle or a standard! It can be a style, mentality, and persona. Knowing what fits or doesn't fit, and defining your brand can be an exercise grounded in who you are and how you want to represent yourself. There's accountability and ownership of what we proclaim and assert to be our "brand" versus the reality of how we show up. It's a benchmark and messaging for yourself as a reminder of how you'd like to show up to display and demonstrate what feels true to you, just as you are! 

Have you ever been given a backhanded compliment that actually was a veiled insult? What do you do with it?  Instead of throwing an aggression back, you could pose a question back!

Our Inner voice discerns what we know versus what we believe or how we receive what someone’s thrown us.  And tone matters— the tone of our inner voice, as well as that of the messenger. There are more things than just what’s said that holds meaning! You can stand with your belief when boundaries are crossed, and get activated, rather than triggered, with a strong response rather than a reaction. Being centered gives you space and grace to provide information over ignorance, and from that place you have power to decide what path a relationship may take. Whether with compliments, or insults, you can stay grounded in who you are, just as you are.  

What do you do when you're given a backhanded compliment? Are you tempted to throw a zinger back? Was it a veiled insult, a subconscious microaggression, or a misunderstood comment? When gifted a compliment that left us unsettled or even hurt, we can examine with curiosity how we receive the comment, to then have a discerned response, rather than an emotional reaction. We can choose how to take it regardless of how they intended to give it, and also have grace and awareness when we also give a compliment that could have a dual meaning.  Compliments are the gifts that they are; depending on the giving and the receiving. 

Have you ever reacted defensively but regretted it?  When someone has a wrong idea of you, it’s easy to sit in a place of defensiveness. But when reacting from that place, people might not hear your actual message, and instead notice behaviors and mannerisms which undermine your message.  Use your body’s reactions as signals and indicators, to distance yourself, and then look at what’s really the piece that’s bothering you.  That way, rather than having to defend yourself, you can deliver your message, and demonstrate who you really are.  

Have you ever felt hurt when someone didn't like you? How long did you let that bother you? It's amazing the mental bandwidth we use when we worry that someone doesn't like us! But when we focus on if others like us, that takes us out of ourselves. Not being liked isn't a valuation of your worth! And our thoughts about not being liked hurt us more than not being liked itself. We lost ourselves if we focus on winning over others. Find freedom in knowing you don't have to strive for a "100% A+ average" of getting everybody to like you, and we can't be all things to everybody. And that's okay. Period.