Handsome and I hiked The Twins up near Waldo Lake. Even though the hiking book and a few people warned us that there are mosquitos in July, Handsome wanted to go anyway. He was sure that, with enough DEET, we would be fine.

We sprayed it on, quite liberally, and brought extra with us just in case. Also, I had on long pants and hiking boots. Plenty of protection, right? Eh, not so much...

“LYLAF” The letters sat on my phone, defying me to understand what each letter meant. I’m not new to texting, but even I was a bit baffled by the arrangement of letters. Liking Your Lazy Attention Friend? Like You’re Licking a Fuzzyburger? My mind grappled to find the right interpretation. Not willing to simply ask my friend on the other end of the conversation for a definition, I do what I always do in these situations...

I broke the shot glass. A beautiful, simple, elegant shot glass that belongs to Handsome and has survived years in a bachelor pad until I get a hold of it – or lack thereof – and now I’m scraping glass shards out of the cast iron sink with a wad of paper towels. Already a tough day, I had decided I needed a drink. No, I wanted a drink. Need infers no choice in the matter. I had plenty of choice and all impulses were shouting “lemon drop now!”...

I do! I actually wiggle when I walk. I can feel the weight around my middle jostle and move with each step. Ack! I had deluded myself into believing I’d only gained a little bit of weight, but I can’t continue to believe that now! The truth is here. I’m jiggling. No more denial....