Single Take, Canon Fodder & Dare Daniel

Ultraviolet (2006; Kurt Wimmer) – Best of Dare Daniel Rerun 10

Daniel and Corky bravely subject their mind’s eyes to the memory of Milla Jovovich in the retina-shredding Ultraviolet.

U.S. theatrical release date: March 3, 2006

Domestic box office: $18.5 million (production budget: $30 million)

Critic scores: 9 on Rotten Tomatoes; 18 on Metacritic

This week’s Darer: Marco Cabodi

Why did Marco dare Daniel and Corky to watch Ultraviolet?  “Nonsensical Milla Jovovich action vehicle that alternates between incredibly ambitious and incomprehensibly stupid.  It’s an amazing mix of everything being almost not as awful as it is.  It’s admirably unwatchable.”

IMDB synopsis: “A beautiful hæmophage infected with a virus that gives her superhuman powers has to protect a boy in a futuristic world, who is thought to be carrying antigens that would destroy all hæmophages.”

This week’s referenced movies: Cutthroat Island; Birth; Equilibrium; Sphere; The Recruit; Law Abiding Citizen; Salt; Total Recall (2012); Point Break (2015); The Matrix franchise; Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion; 16 Blocks; Eight Below; Captain Marvel; A Clockwork Orange; Sin City; Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow; Spy Kids franchise; The Spirit; 300; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse; Fargo; I Am Legend; Ronin; Sleepaway Camp; Heat; the Blade franchise; Kill Bill: Vol. 1; Little Shop of Horrors (1986); Gotti; the Resident Evil franchise; The Messenger; Dazed and Confused

Ratings for Ultraviolet: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

Original theatrical trailer for Ultraviolet

A typically unwatchable fight scene

The unusually unwatchable motorcycle chase scene

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Fateful Findings – Best of Dare Daniel Rerun 9

“I can’t believe we’re revisiting Fateful Findings.”

Daniel and Corky uncover the cosmic conspiracy behind Best of Dare Daniel by listlessly pecking at random keys on five broken laptops.

New Dare Daniel episodes will resume in the Spring!

U.S. festival premiere: Dec. 8, 2012

This week’s darer: Gunnar Pearson

Gunnar’s dare: “You guys talk about bad movies and every show or podcast that talks about bad movies must at one point review a film by true American auteur Neil Breen. Fateful Findings is a romantic drama . . . I guess? Breen is the writer, director, lead actor, editor, set dresser and about a hundred other things, and he is awful at all of them.”

IMDB synopsis: “A computer-scientist/novelist reunites with his childhood friend, hacks into government databases, and faces the dire and fateful consequences of the mystical actions he obtained as a child.”

This week’s referenced movies: Deadly Attraction; Old Fashioned; The Room; Love on a Leash; Dangerous Men; Rebel without a Cause; Skullduggery; The Goonies; The Long Goodbye; Rawhead Rex; Memento; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; Jeremiah Johnson; The Godfather Part II; JFK

Ratings: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

Trailer for Fateful Findings

How not to drink coffee

The WTF ending

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Love Actually – Best of Dare Daniel Rerun 8

In this week’s holiday-themed Best of Dare Daniel, your hosts (and a special guest) revisit the horndog treacle of Love Actually.

U.S. theatrical release date: Nov. 7, 2003

Domestic box office: $59.7 million (production budget: $40-45 million)

Critic scores: 64 on Rotten Tomatoes; 55 on Metacritic

This week’s darer: Heather Smith

Why did Heather dare Daniel and Corky to watch Love Actually? “It’s that magical time of year when every person checks into Facebook to share they are watching Love Actually.  A true turd-fest full if cringe-y dialogue, vapid, horrible characters, and one of the more embarrassing dance scenes I can recall.  It bewilders me that this movie has sustained such love through the years.  It’s like Lifetime wrote a Christmas movie but could afford better actors.  Merry Christmas!”

IMDB synopsis: “Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.”

This week’s referenced movies: Bula Quo!; God’s Not Dead; Renaissance Man; Battlefield: Earth; Stay Hungry; Pumping Iron; Four Weddings and a Funeral; Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers; Pulp Fiction; An American Werewolf in Paris; The Music Man; Heaven’s Gate; the Bridget Jones movies; Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978); The Long Good Friday; Die Hard; The Princess Bride; Rear Window; Driller Killer; Titanic (1997); Ghostbusters (1984); Say Anything; Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life; Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; Bugsy Malone; The Quiet Man

Ratings for Love Actually: Daniel – Dare; Corky – Double Dare; Gav – Double Dare

Original theatrical trailer for Love Actually

“To me you are perfect”

The Dancing Prime Minister

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Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas – Best of Dare Daniel Rerun 7

“It’s putting the ka-ching back in Christmas.”

Daniel and Corky take the Christ out of Christmas long enough to review Kirk Cameron and his unique brand of Bible-sanctioned materialism in Saving Christmas.

The Cat (Doug Glassman)

Knowing (Courtney)

U.S. theatrical release date: Nov. 14, 2014

Domestic box office gross: $2.8 million (production budget: $500,000)

Critic scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes; 18 on Metacritic

This week’s darer: Gav from the Films on Trial podcast

Why did Gav dare Daniel and Corky to watch Saving Christmas? “Hi, guys!  Listening to you heathens hilariously bash that Bible-bashing classic God’s Not Dead, I thought that you may want to review a real test of willpower, in the form of the cinematic turd that is Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas.  I stumbled upon it last year, and I still haven’t fully recovered.  I guarantee that if you watch it in December, it will ruin your Christmas.  Apologies a thousand times.  I hope we can still be friends after this?”

IMDB synopsis: “His annual Christmas party faltering thanks to his cynical brother-in-law, former Growing Pains star Kirk Cameron attempts to save the day by showing him that Jesus Christ remains a crucial component of the over-commercialized holiday.”

This week’s referenced movies: Dark City; Gods of Egypt; I, Robot; Left Behind (2014); The Legend of Hercules; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014); Transformers: Age of Extinction; the Saw movies; Loose Change; Lord of the Rings movies; The Jerk; It’s a Wonderful Life; A Christmas Carol; Coming to America; Breakin’; National Lampoon’s Animal House; Zero Dark Thirty; Hollywood Shuffle; Ultraviolet; The Warrior and the Sorceress

Ratings for Saving Christmas: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

Original theatrical trailer for Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas

Family Force Five hip-hop dance sequence

Christmas cups and conspiracy theories

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Battlefield Earth (2000; Roger Christian) – Best of Dare Daniel Rerun 6

“Holy amazing shit, John Travolta.”

Daniel and Corky conclude Travolt-ember with the beloved Battlefield Earth, the first in their Best of Dare Daniel series of reruns.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss learning machines, corporate crapheads, ironic punishments, intergalactic bankers and gastro-extermination sequences.

U.S. theatrical release date: May 12, 2000

Domestic box office: $21.5 million (production budget: $75 million)

Critic scores: 3 on Rotten Tomatoes; 9 on Metacritic

This week’s darer: Michael Bagamery

Why did Michael dare Daniel and Corky to watch Battlefield Earth? “Battlefield Earth has been a bumper crop for nearly every bad movie fan out there.  Can you find some more unscathed parts of its body’s flesh?  Can you torture it even more uniquely?”

IMDB synopsis: “It’s the year 3000 A.D.; the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, whom are unaware that their ‘man-animals’ are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.”

This week’s referenced movies: The Butcher’s Wife; Warcraft; National Treasure; Pulp Fiction; Get Shorty; Michael; Phenomenon; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; The Butterfly Effect; The Art of War; The Whole Nine Yards; Best Worst Movie; Moment by Moment; Staying Alive; The Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Cloud Atlas; Revolution; the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise; L4yer Cake; Ultraviolet; Blade Runner; Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas; Two Moon Junction; Spartacus; various King Kong movies; The Dirty Dozen; Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure; Raiders of the Lost Ark; The Fanatic; The Warrior and the Sorceress

Ratings for Battlefield Earth: Daniel – Reverse Dare; Corky – Reverse Dare

Original theatrical trailer for Battlefield Earth

Psychlo laugh supercut

“Have you blown a head gasket?”

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Two of a Kind – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 123 “It’s a movie forgotten by time, and I look forward to forgetting it myself.” Kooky inventor Daniel Barnes and flirty bank teller Corky McDonnell get together to save the world from the abysmal nothing-burgerTwo of a Kind. Grease stars John […]

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The Exorcist III – Scare Daniel Podcast Episode 122 “It’s just a bunch of peas and anchovies.” Daniel and Corky do their shouty best to keep up with George C. Scott in William Peter Blatty’s so-underappreciated-it’s-almost-overappreciated The Exorcist III. Blatty crafts a shockingly effective slow creep that is […]

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Hocus Pocus – Scare Daniel Podcast Episode 121 “Max likes your yabbos.” Daniel and Corky light a Febreze to clear the air after reviewing Bette Midler in the inexplicably beloved Hocus Pocus. This sloppily written, egregiously unfunny Halloween comedy about three Stooges-esque witches somehow became a beloved holiday […]

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” Strait-Jacket (1964) – Scare Daniel Podcast Episode 120 “Do you want to date a doctor?” Zombie Daniel and Mummy Corky return from the dead for the 2022 edition of Scare Daniel. This is the fifth installment of our October horror movie series, meaning we’ve reached A New […]

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The Next 365 Days – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 119 “Fuck society.” Daniel and Corky bid farewell to beloved toxic couple Massimo and Laura with their review of The Next 365 Days. Endless, pointless and utterly lacking in any new story developments, The Next 365 Days offers even less than […]

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