Sitting in a Car

This week on Sitting In A Car, a mum writes: ‘I don’t even start sensitive conversations with my child, because I don’t want to get it wrong. Help!’

It’s SO good to talk about getting things wrong.

There are many areas of life where you mightn’t even start something because you’re afraid of mucking it up.

How bad is it – REALLY - to get something ‘wrong’? 

Could you give your child a gift when you allow them to see you mess up?

You might show them it’s a normal part of life to get things a bit a#@*ways sometimes.

And they see it’s ok to be vulnerable when you say, “Hey, sorry! I got that wrong - here’s what I know now”. 

What if ‘getting it right’ involved not being perfect, but loads of small steps forward?

The truth is, when we show our kids that it’s ok to always be learning, we’re modelling wonderful life skills - around vulnerability, and taking care of relationships that mean a lot to you. 

So there’s nothing to fear around not doing it perfectly. Not at all.

Sarah x

Today’s brilliant parent question is: ‘How can I talk with my 14-year-old son about pornography and inappropriate representations of women?’

This week I focus on the things your teen son(s) may have noticed about their OWN body first. How are boys/male bodies is expected to look and behave?

Perhaps you can ask your kid questions about what they have noticed. Because we don’t often think about male bodies in the media, do we?

Sarah x 

This week’s question is about the V word - or actually the two V words. 

A parent asks: ‘I use the word vulva to describe the outside bits of the female genitalia. But a lot of parent friends of ours - and even books - seem to use the word vagina. What are your thoughts?’

This such a great question because it cuts to the very heart of how we can help our kids feel empowered about their own bodies.

Firstly, it’s correct that ‘vulva’ is the word for the external female genitalia, and ‘vagina’ refers to the canal of muscle inside the body.

And we should definitely teach our kids the difference! 

By using the correct words, we're giving our young people what they need to know and understand about their own bodies and other people.

And we're giving them confidence with that too.

Learn how to give your kids the tools they’ll need later on in life, when they are older and in intimate relationships.

I don’t know about you, but I really want any intimate relationships my kids to feel empowered and happy in their future intimate relationships!

Learn more here.

Sarah x

What an important question we’re answering this week. How do we talk to our teenagers about wearing revealing clothes, and all the thoughts and worries we parents might have around that? 

In the world we live in we’re told the teen years are ‘the worst’, ’difficult’ and even dangerous - it’s easy to feel anxious about everything a teen says and does.

Meanwhile, they’re just trying to healthily separate from us and fit in with their peer group (both safe and developmentally normal things to do).

Here’s the thing.

I bet you feel like sometimes a short skirt means so much more than just a short skirt!

Talking about stuff like bodies and clothes is an important part of helping our young people learn about the world around them. And this week I’ve got some tips about how to do that with comfort and care.

It’s a more detailed video today so it’s a bit longer. Put in your earbuds, press play and GO!

Til next week,

Sarah x

How do you talk to your kids about porn and sexting? And how early should those conversations start?

This can be one of the hardest things to talk about, as it can really challenge our ideas about our kids’ innocence, and how we want them to stay that way.

The truth is, this is part of a larger conversation we can be having with our kids gradually.

So could you start chatting about these things from a place of openness, connection and a kind of neutral curiosity? 

These conversations are not really only about sexting or porn.

They are about the advert on the side of a bus, or a grown-up reference in a TV programme, or a tricky message on a T-shirt.

This stuff is about you chatting calmly about the messages you see in the world around you, from a calm, curious, neutral place.

Because what do we want at the end of the day?

If ’something goes wrong’ - maybe your kid sees something, does something, or is shown something that makes them feel scared, upset, or alone – you want them to know FOR SURE that they can come to you for support, guidance and help.