Sitting in a Car

Here’s a great question about what you can do when a kid does something developmentally normal, 

but which is not socially acceptable - 

or which might even upset you a little bit.

‘My son likes to wave his penis at me every time he’s naked - including at the pool. What do I do?’  

The great thing to know about quandaries like this, is that you can deal with them using the parenting toolbox you already have.

Did you know that? 

The everyday parenting strategies we already use, work exactly as well with sensitive conversations. 

Isn’t that great? 

So if you want to set down some agreements for at home, or talk about rules at the pool, you can use, for example, the great parenting tool of collaborating with your kids.

Or you can use distraction! Or humour.

Or whatever you do in your family. 

The other thing to think about, when a body part gets waved your way, is your own consent. 

Are you ok with it? Or are you not? 

YOUR consent is important, not just your kid’s. 

And not just the rules at the pool.

Setting boundaries to care for yourself, is a wonderful lesson for your child about consent: 

how to ask for it, and how to respect it.  

As usual we've got lots of hacks for you, and lots of stories. 

Have a look here or listen here.

Sarah x

Is it your fault that you can’t talk about sexuality, relationships, or consent with your kid?

This week, we’re gonna go there and talk about guilt.

To be specific - parenting guilt.

Guilt that we aren’t ‘doing better’ for our kids.

We all feel it.

This kind of guilt can come up for us not only around sensitive topics like sexuality, but at any parenting moment at all! 

It can come up at the shops, when your kid throws a wobbler in the queue.

Or it can come up when you feel you need to chat to your kid, but can't.

It feels like this:

‘I’m not doing a good enough job.’

‘I’m failing.’

Is it your fault? 

Short answer: No. Of course not.

If we find something difficult, it’s probably only because we haven’t yet got the skill set to feel comfortable doing it. 

If we were raised in a family, or a culture, where sensitive conversations were seen as dangerous, then our very biology thinks it’s dangerous. 

And so our body tries to protect us. And we feel that fear.

Is this your fault? No!

We can’t help our past. 

But! We can do plenty about our future. 

And that’s where learning to have sensitive convos, in tiny, tiny steps, can be so empowering, both for your kids and for you.

Sarah x

Let’s dive in this week with a great one. ‘How do I help my child know how to say or do what THEY want, not what others want?’

This is a great question and goes straight to the heart of consent. 

It’s about empowering our kids to even know what they want, in what might be quite a high pressure moment, and to be able to communicate it, which might be quite hard to do.

So, it’s a lot!

But never fear. Here’s the key. 

Really, the only thing NOT to say - and we’ve all done it! - is, ‘If you don’t want to do something, just say no! And it’ll all be ok.’ :)

When we say that, we completely erase that life is more complicated than that.

How many times have you NOT said something in a restaurant, even though your steak was cold or your mash wasn’t nice? 

The main thing we need our kids to know Is that ‘their grown-up’ understands the complexity of the world.

And understands that when the popular kid says LEND ME YOUR BIKE, it’s not always easy to say no. 

That’s ok. We’ve got some hacks to help you, help them.

And!

This is such a juicy topic that I’m thinking of offering a weekend seminar on it.

If this would be of interest to you, drop me a line!

Sarah x

Hi There,

The question from a parent this week is “How can I make sure my child knows it’s ok to say ‘No’?

So many of us want to make sure that our kid doesn’t have the experience we had. Remember that time at school you felt pressured to do something you didn’t want to do?

I’m not talking about abuse. That’s a whole other thing. What we are talking about today are those usual, everyday things that we sometimes do that we don’t want to.

Share our lunch.

Kiss someone.

Walk the long way instead of the shorter way we’d rather take.

So this week I give you three ideas that will make it easier to talk to your kid about ‘No’.

And don’t forget, this is your last chance to get your tickets to ‘It’s Awkward, But It Doesn’t Have to Be. Get Talking to Your Kid about Sex’ here (https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/its-awkward-but-it-doesnt-have-to-be-get-talking-to-your-kid-about-sex-tickets-76767065359?aff=ebdssbeac)

Sarah x

Hey there,

So many of the problems we parents have about sensitive conversations with our kids is about embarrassment.

We are embarrassed because we don’t know how to start.

We are embarrassed ‘cause we don’t know what to talk about.

We are embarrassed when we don’t know when is the right time to talk to our kids.

Embarrassment, fear and awkwardness are at the root of why many of us stop ourselves or feel stuck when we try to start talking to our kid about relationships, sexuality, consent and puberty.

Watch or listen to Sitting In A Car this week to hear three tips for managing your embarrassment.

And if you REALLY want to get going on talking to your kid about all this stuff, if you KNOW you’ve put it off long enough…

… head on over to Eventbrite to book yourself a ticket to my newest online workshop.

It called “It’s Awkward” and you can find your ticket here…

It’s online so you don’t have to travel.

It’s on a SATURDAY so you don’t have to miss work.

You’ll have access to the replay for as long as you need it so you can still learn all the goodies even if you have a full day of mum-taxi duty.

And send me an email or ring me if you aren’t sure if this workshop is right for you. I’ll answer all your questions 🤜🏼🤛🏼

Sarah x