Sitting in a Car

What is the one most important thing to get our head around as parents of school age children when it comes to conversations about stuff like puberty, sex, relationships and consent?

It’s not any of the usual things I often get asked like age appropriate info, or the best words to use.

The one thing we are talking about this week IS about consent (I’ll tell you that much) but it’s not the sort of consent you might think …

In other news, I’ve realised the most common difficulty parents encounter when they want to start talking to their kid is the awkwardness and embarrassment they feel. We really are starting a weird new part of parenting.

So I want to give you a chance to learn how to hack your brain. There are ways to get around these feelings and start connecting with your kid in a more comfortable way.

Head on over to Eventbrite to learn more here (https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/its-awkward-but-it-doesnt-have-to-be-get-talking-to-your-kid-about-sex-tickets-76767065359). The early bird price ends 2nd November.

Sarah x 

This week’s question asks, ‘How do I have conversations about sex with my 6th-class kid, when he really doesn’t want to have them?’

I love this question! 

So many parents have a version of this question. 

How can we give our kids the information they need, but also respect their feelings?

In this episode I’m gonna talk boundaries, car seats, negotiation and trade-offs.

We are going to use my favourite ‘I learned something new today’ starter strategy AND describe how siblings can be your secret weapon in having talks about sex.

So, there are so many ways to support yourself and your kids, around these tough conversations! 

And the more you do it, the less tough they will be.

Sex is at the heart of how we teach our kids about self-acceptance. 

It’s how we protect them against shame. 

Once we start to learn how to have sensitive conversations, we are giving our kids a truly amazing gift; a parent who is accessible and willing to talk about stuff most adults shy away from. 

Sarah x

‘Whose job is it to talk to our 12-year-old boy about sex?’

What a great question. 

Is it a mum’s job to talk to a young teen boy about sex, puberty and relationships? 

Or is that the job of a male parent? 

Here’s the thing. 

Parents are just people! 

And we all have different things we’re good at. 

So who should do the talking depends on what our personal skills are. 

What if you BOTH find it terrifying and awkward?!

Well, then, think of it this way. 

Could one or both of you push yourselves out of your comfort zone, just a tiny bit? 

Could you find tiny, tiny ways, to move the conversation forward? 

Some aspects of parenting, we do because they come naturally. 

And some don’t come naturally at all! But maybe we can decide to stretch ourselves a liiiiittttle bit.

Because we know how much our kids will benefit if they feel they can talk to us.

And let’s face it, if they’re happy, we’re happy. 

Sarah x 

Let’s switch things up a bit this week. Here’s a question from me to you. 

What kind of kid do you want to raise? 

Every week on Sitting In A Car, I say that I’m here to help you raise ‘confident, caring young people who respect themselves and the people around them’. 

But that’s just my mission statement! 

What’s yours?

Why not make a list of your core values as a parent? 

The main things you are trying to nurture in your kids? 

Knowing our top priorities helps direct our actions. So it can be so helpful to be conscious of what our own values are.

What might be three top priorities for you? 

Could you can make a little list this week - and if you like, maybe you can share them here?

There are so many great values to choose from. Maybe you want to raise a seeker, a learner - someone who, when they have questions, takes action to find out what they need. 

Maybe you want to raise someone who is compassionate and kind, to others and to themselves - who knows and accepts who they are, and who appreciates the individuality of others. 

Maybe you had issues yourself with not toe-ing the party line as a young person - and it got you in trouble! So maybe you would like to raise someone who is able to follow directions and work well with others.

There are so many good ones! 

Please do share some of your core values here. 

Because after all, the more we help each other appreciate the huge variety of parenting values, the more we can figure out which ones are right for us.

Sarah x