Sitting in the Dark

Not every survivor looks the way society expects them to.

In this episode of Sitting in the Dark, Maci explores the harmful myth of the "perfect victim" and how survivor stereotypes impact disclosure, reporting, healing, and public perception.

Why didn't they report? Why did they stay? Why can't they remember? Why do they seem okay?

These are questions survivors hear every day—but they're often rooted in misunderstanding rather than trauma-informed knowledge.

Join us as we discuss how trauma actually affects people, why there is no "right" way to respond to victimization, and how the expectation of a perfect victim can silence survivors while protecting those who cause harm.

Whether you're a survivor, support person, professional, or community member, this conversation challenges us to replace judgment with curiosity, compassion, and understanding.

Because survivors don't have to fit the narrative to deserve support, dignity, and belief.

Content Warning: This episode discusses sexual violence, trauma, victim-blaming, and survivor experiences.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month—but this conversation goes deeper than awareness.

In this episode of Sitting in the Dark, we explore the history behind SAAM, the meaning of Teal Tuesday, and the powerful story that led to Denim Day. But more than that… we talk about the people behind the movement—the survivors who spoke when it wasn’t safe, and the ones still finding their voice today.

This episode is both educational and deeply human. A reminder that what we see on the surface—colors, campaigns, and hashtags—are rooted in real stories, real pain, and real resilience.

If you’re a survivor, this space is for you.
If you’re supporting someone, this will help you understand.
And if you’re just beginning to learn—this is a place to start.

You are not alone. And you never have to carry it by yourself.

This Women’s History Month, Sitting in the Dark is taking a deeper look at the women who didn’t just participate in history—they rewrote it.

In this episode, Maci is joined by Sexual Assault Advocates Michayla and Helena for a powerful, honest conversation about the women who shaped the movement against sexual violence and gender inequality. From Susan Brownmiller’s groundbreaking work reframing rape as a crime of power and control, to Tarana Burke’s survivor-centered vision behind the Me Too movement, to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s lasting legal impact, this episode explores how advocacy has evolved across generations.

But this conversation goes beyond well-known names.

Together, they reflect on the cost of advocacy, the emotional labor carried by women in this field, and the tension that still exists when pushing for survivor-centered change. They also share personal stories about the women who shaped them—mentors, advocates, and family members whose strength may not have been loud, but was deeply transformative.

This episode is a reminder that advocacy doesn’t always look like a microphone or a movement.
Sometimes, it looks like presence. Like consistency. Like choosing to stay.

And while progress has been made, the work is far from finished.

Because the door may be open—but it’s our responsibility to hold it wider for the next generation.

Somewhere along the way, stalking got rebranded as devotion.

The guy who won’t take no for an answer? “Persistent.”
The guy who shows up everywhere? “Passionate.”
The guy who watches from a distance? “Protective.”

But in real life, stalking isn’t romantic — it’s dangerous.

In this episode of Sitting in the Dark, Maci unpacks how movies, media, and even trending dark romance narratives can blur the lines between fantasy and harmful behavior. She explores the difference between fictional tropes and real-world power and control, discusses what stalking actually looks like, and explains why normalization can put survivors at risk.

Fantasy is controlled. Real stalking is not.

If you’ve ever wondered where the line really is — this conversation is for you.

As always, this episode discusses sensitive topics related to stalking and sexual violence. Please listen with care.

January can be loud.

Full of resolutions, expectations, and pressure to start fresh—before we’ve even had time to catch our breath.

In this episode of Sitting in the Dark, Maci offers a softer start to the year. One rooted in honesty, rest, and compassion—for ourselves and for each other.

We talk about arriving in January already tired, why “new year, new you” doesn’t work for everyone, and how healing, survival, and care don’t follow a calendar. This episode is for helpers, survivors, and anyone who feels like this year has already asked a lot.

Instead of resolutions, we explore intentions.
Instead of pushing through, we talk about grace.
Instead of doing it alone, we sit together.

If you’re feeling worn down, overwhelmed, or just human—this one’s for you.

🖤 Gentle grounding included
🖤 Survivor-centered, trauma-informed conversation
🖤 A reminder that you don’t have to carry it all

This end-of-year episode of Sitting in the Dark is an honest conversation for survivors, current advocates, and anyone curious about stepping into this work. Maci reflects on the moments that shaped this year — the heavy ones, the hopeful ones, and the ones that didn’t make it to social media.

Together, we talk through:

• what advocacy really looks like behind the scenes,

• what survivors may have faced or felt this year,

• the emotional reality of supporting others through trauma,

• what it means to rest, reset, and rediscover your strength,

• and how to know if becoming an advocate might be your next step.

This episode is an invitation to breathe, reflect, and carry only what’s meant for you into the new year.
Whether you’re healing, serving, or learning — you belong here.

If you or someone you love needs support, the Crisis Center of Northeast Texas is here 24/7 at 903-454-9999.

Holding Space Through the Holidays: Supporting Loved Ones & Stepping In With Courage

The holidays can be beautiful… and heavy. Whether you’re a survivor, supporting someone you love, or navigating complicated family dynamics, this episode offers a gentle guide for getting through Thanksgiving week with compassion and courage.

Join Maci as she explores trauma-informed ways to check in with loved ones, create soft exits, validate emotions, and intervene safely when something feels wrong. You’ll also learn how to recognize overwhelm, protect moments of joy, and show up for yourself if you’re the one carrying pain into the holiday.

This episode includes a grounding exercise at the beginning and a holiday self-care checklist at the end — because you deserve softness and support, no matter what this season brings.

If things feel heavy, you’re not alone. We’re here to sit with you in the dark, one breath at a time.

🎙️ Breaking the Silence: Race, Trust, and Identity After Sexual Assault

When we talk about sexual violence, we have to talk about power—and power is shaped by identity.
In this episode, host Maci Torres and guest Sarah Enderlein, a sociology graduate student and volunteer advocate, explore how race, ethnicity, and sexuality influence survivors’ experiences after sexual assault.

Drawing from research by Kimberlé Crenshaw, Joane Nagel, Charles Gallagher, and Sophie Lanthier, they unpack how stereotypes, systemic racism, and cultural stigma continue to silence survivors of color and LGBTQ+ survivors. Together, they discuss concepts like intersectionality, intersectional sexual-assault stigma, and cultural humility, translating academic insight into real-world advocacy.

Listeners will hear about how stereotypes such as the “Strong Black Woman” trope, the “model minority” myth, and immigration fears affect reporting; how media bias shapes public empathy; and what true allyship looks like inside survivor-support systems.

Whether you’re an advocate, student, or survivor, this conversation invites you to confront discomfort with compassion and move from awareness to accountability.

Trigger warning: This episode discusses sexual assault, racial discrimination, and systemic injustice. Please take care while listening.

📘 References:
Crenshaw (1989); Nagel (2003); Gallagher (2012); Lanthier (2023); Journal of Interpersonal Violence (2024).

If you or someone you love needs support, visit www.ccnetx.org/podcast or call our 24/7 hotline at 903-454-9999.
You are not alone.

Rape Culture & Sexism in the Media
Headlines. Movies. Music. Ads. Everyday conversations.
The media doesn’t just reflect our culture—it shapes it. And too often, what it reflects is a world where sexual violence is normalized, excused, or ignored.

In this episode of Sitting in the Dark, we break down how rape culture shows up in the media we consume, how silence fuels the next generation’s beliefs, and why calling it out matters. With real-world examples and survivor insights, we’ll talk honestly about what needs to change—and how each of us can be part of shifting the narrative.

Because the stories we tell matter. And survivors deserve better.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault and survivor experiences. Please take care of yourself and listen at your own pace.

When survivors of sexual assault are ready to tell their story, the process of reaching out for help can feel overwhelming. Seek Then Speak is an innovative, online tool designed to change that—giving survivors the chance to share their experiences safely, in their own words, and at their own pace.

In this episode of Sitting in the Dark, we sit down with our guest from End Violence Against Women International (EVAWI) and a Victim Advocate who championed the tool to talk about how Seek Then Speak works, why it matters, and how it can make the first steps toward healing and justice less intimidating.

Whether you’re a survivor, an advocate, or someone who wants to understand how to support loved ones better, this conversation is about choice, empowerment, and making sure every voice can be heard.