slanderhour

"The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown, but longed for still, and his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings of freedom."

"And if I stay here with you girl, things just couldn’t even be the same, ’cause I’m as free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change."

Often misrepresented, always misunderstood, Mark E Smith was a king amongst men, a noted polyglot; a wildly generous philanthropist that helped us found this very podcast. 

Gone, but not forgotten. 

When was the last time you got out your best china for depression coming round?

Why do you insist on pressing snooze so much?

Are you depressed or are you actually compressed?

Customers in my store had a sense of entitlement - they tried to get as much as they could from you beyond what is available. I found this ironic because it was in a hard-pressed area. However, this also meant you get some crafty customers as well who  constantly tried to cheat the system - so you need to have your wits  about you. Having said that, you get to recognise the regulars, and they can be a joy to serve.

An  unnecessarily impatient customer, the know-it-all, the "customer is  always right", and the clueless customer are the most annoying.

Be  polite, friendly, and understand that there's only so much we can do.  We will go out of our way for a friendly and understanding customer -  but a rude customer won't get much beyond a "nope, not in stock." if  it's not on the shelf.

Do you long to learn? Do you wish to be an ACADEMIC? 

In this episode, The Three offer a self-help guide for anyone with a desire for learning. 

"come here little one...tssch tssch tssch 

do you want a treat little one? yes you do, come here and get a treat... tssch tssch tssch 

you're big dad's favourite aren't you? yes you are. 

come and get some kibble. 

tssch tssch tssch "

What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of getting some on you? Are you afraid someone might tune into your smell? You do smell you know?

No level of hosing, scouring or ablution will ever rinse you pure. 

Is that your fear?

Someone might notice that your body has odour. 

This week, The Three gouge away at failure. 

In what is their most eagerly anticipated episode of the year, they look at the career of disgraced national treasure Olivia Coleman and try to quantify the depths of her descent into a sludgepit of despair and torment.