slanderhour

slanderhour

By slanderhourSociety & Culture
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slanderhour episodes

  • Semi - Share

    a double-wide? someone lied: an inside jokester  

    what in the hell? rotten smell in this shell, yokester  

    seems that some blow's on your nose and it shows, cokester  

    cat in a tree cries a plea, comes to me: coaxed her  

    fork and the spoon off too soon, home by noon: broke stir  

    chim chim cher-ee you'll agree I'm lucky bloke, sir  

    wanting a plum uses thumb to get some, pokes her  

    poor old man frog too much grog, fell off log, croaked, sir

    51 min
  • Semi - Cumtown

    I don’t think my toilet is happy with me.

    I know this because it hardly flushes for me anymore.

    I think it was Taco Bell,
    And that crunch rap supreme from Hell.
    I doubt John has ever recovered.
    I doubt i have either.

    I wish I had more than one pot in my house.
    Would likely cause less grief for my spouse.
    Our schedules are just about the same,
    And they refuse to be tamed.

    Flush! There it goes,
    Glug! It’s stuck!
    My toilet burbles in annoyance.
    I burble back.
    wait, there’s more?

    Flush! Down goes the first log,
    But now the second is stuck!

    19 min
  • Semi - Paranoid

    Finished with my woman 'cause

    She couldn't help me with my mind
    People think I'm insane because
    I am frowning all the time

    All day long I think of things

    But nothing seems to satisfy
    Think I'll lose my mind
    If I don't find something to pacify

    Can you help me

    Occupy my brain?
    Oh yeah

    I need someone to show me

    The things in life that I can't find
    I can't see the things that make
    True happiness, I must be blind

    Make a joke and I will sigh

    And you will laugh and I will cry
    Happiness I cannot feel
    And love to me is so unreal

    And so as you hear these words

    Telling you now of my state
    I tell you to enjoy life
    I wish I could but it's too late

    32 min
  • Semi - Coin

    My change: a nickel caked with finger grime;

    two nicked quarters not long for this life, worth

    more for keeping dead eyes shut than bus fare;

    a dime, shining in sunshine like a new dime;

    grubby pennies, one stamped the year of my birth,

    no brighter than I from 40 years of wear.

    What purses, piggy banks, and window sills

    have these coins known, their presidential heads

    pinched into what beggar's chalky palm--

    they circulate like tarnished red blood cells,

    all of us exchanging the merest film

    of our lives, and the lives of those long dead.

    And now my turn in the convenience store,

    I hand over my fist of change, still warm,

    to the bored, lip-pierced check-out girl, once more

    to be spun down cigarette machines, hurled

    in fountains, flipped for luck--these dirty charms

    chiming in the dark pockets of the world.

    26 min
  • Semi - Neighbour

    Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours

    With a little understanding, you can find the perfect blend
    Neighbours, should be there for one another
    That's when good neighbours become good friends

    Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours
    Just a friendly wave each morning, helps to make a better day
    Neighbours, need to get to know each other
    Next door is only a footstep away

    Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours
    With a little understanding, you can find the perfect blend
    Neighbours, should be there for one another
    That's when good neighbours become good friends

    Neighbours, should be there for one another
    That's when good neighbours become good friends
    That's when good neighbours become good friends

    28 min
  • Semi - Race

    You can watch others playing games  And that can be lots of fun I claim  Watching basketball for some folks is great  But some prefer football any day they debate.  It's lots of fun for them while they converse and also laugh  Some prefer watching baseball any time on their behalf  Or watching car racing as they snack and slurp a drink  Enjoying good sports is alright when you like them I think.  But for me reading or watching a good movie is more fun.  As I welcome any time spent like that a lot much more  Than wasting it just in any kind of sport that I just abhor.  In the end I can't abide it and just get bored after a while  Although, I don't mind watching sometimes a horse racing  or at times a good tennis match that on TV is just playing  And golf is one of those sports that I can't keep up scoring  But personally find that most sports can be quite so boring.

    34 min
  • Semi - Sync

    The last reply you sent i deleted 

    I don't remember what you said

    Something about blocking me on 'the old socials' 

    I threw my phone through an aquarium 

    The innocent, dot-eyed gudgeon, tried and flailed 

    to enquire 'why? Why me?'

    I shouted: 

    'IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL, MATE' 

    17 min
  • Semi - Sad

    She smiles, I cry.

    She is outgoing, I am shy.
    She loves, I am alone.
    She is amazing, I am unknown.
    She is beautiful, I am a mess.
    She is happy, I am depressed.
    My mask is perfect:
    She hides me.

    36 min
  • Semi - Arse

    Could've been a cowboy but,

    my arse didn't suit a horse.
    could've been an astronaut but
    I wandered off- off course.
    could;ve been a fireman but,
    my hose was waayy too short.
    yeah,
    I could've been a bank robber but,
    shit,
    I would've got my cute arse caught.

    43 min
  • Semi - Pure

    I've crossed deserts for miles

    Swam water for time
    Searching places to find
    A piece of something to call mine (I'm coming)
    A piece of something to call mine (I'm coming)
    Coming closer to you

    Ran along many moors

    Walked through many doors
    The place where I want to be
    Is the place I can call mine (I'm coming)
    Is the place I can call mine (I'm coming)
    Coming closer to you

    I'm moving, I'm coming

    Can you hear what I hear
    It's calling you, my dear
    Out of reach (Take me to my beach)
    I can hear it calling you
    I'm coming, not drowning
    Swimming closer to you

    Never been here before

    I'm intrigued, I'm unsure
    I'm searching for more
    I've got something that's all mine
    I've got something that's all mine

    Take me somewhere I can breathe

    I've got so much to see
    This is where I want to be
    In a place I can call mine
    In a place I can call mine

    I'm moving, I'm coming

    Can you hear what I hear
    It's calling you, my dear
    Out of reach (Take me to my beach)
    I can hear it calling you
    I'm coming, not drowning
    Swimming closer to you

    Moving, coming

    Can you hear what I hear? (Hear it out of reach)
    I hear it calling you
    Swimming closer to you

    Many faces I have seen

    Many places I have been
    Walked the deserts, swam the shores (Coming closer to you)
    Many faces I have known
    Many ways in which I've grown
    Moving closer on my own (Coming closer to you)

    I move it, I feel it

    I'm coming, not drowning
    I move it, I feel it
    I'm coming, not drowning

    I'm moving, I'm coming

    Can you hear what I hear
    It's calling you, my dear
    Out of reach (Take me to my beach)
    I can hear it calling you
    I'm coming, not drowning
    Swimming closer to you (Take me to my beach)

    I'm moving, I'm coming

    Can you hear what I hear
    It's calling you, my dear
    Out of reach (Take me to my beach)
    I can hear it calling you
    I'm coming, not drowning
    Swimming closer to you
    (Take me to my beach)

    I'm moving, I'm coming

    Can you hear what I hear
    It's calling you, my dear
    Out of reach (Take me to my beach)
    I can hear it calling you

    41 min

About slanderhour

From the publisher's feed

A weekly pre-sleep, post-thought audio play investigating the nature of latent boredom and the strip-mining of emotional bereavement.