slanderhour

slanderhour

By slanderhourSociety & Culture
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slanderhour episodes

  • Semi - Crank

    Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), a hit man wanting to go straight, lets his latest target slip away, then he awakes the next morning to a phone call that informs him he has been poisoned and has only an hour to live unless he keeps adrenaline coursing through his body while he searches for an antidote.

    45 min
  • Semi - Reach

    When the world, leaves you feeling blue

    You can count on me, I will be there for you
    When it seems, all you hopes and dreams
    Are a million miles away, I will re-assure you

    We've got to all stick together

    Good friends, there for each other
    Never ever forget that
    I've got you and you've got me, so

    Reach for the stars

    Climb every mountain higher
    Reach for the stars
    Follow your heart's desire
    Reach for the stars
    And when that rainbow's shining over you
    That's when your dreams will all come true

    There's a place waiting just for you (waiting just for you)

    Is a special place where your dreams all come true
    Fly away (fly away) swim the ocean blue (swim the ocean blue)
    Drive that open road, leave the past behind you
    Don't stop gotta keep moving
    Your hopes, gotta keep building
    Never ever forget that
    I've got you and you've got me, so

    Reach for the stars

    Climb every mountain higher
    Reach for the stars
    Follow your heart's desire
    Reach for the stars
    And when that rainbow's shining over you
    That's when your dreams will all come true

    Don't believe in all that you've been told

    The sky's the limit you can reach your goal
    No-one knows just what the future holds
    There ain't nothing you can't be
    There's a whole world at your feet
    I said reach

    Climb every mountain (reach)

    Reach for the moon (reach)
    Follow that rainbow
    And your dreams will all come true

    Reach for the stars

    Climb every mountain higher
    Reach for the stars
    Follow your heart's desire
    Reach for the stars
    And when that rainbow's shining over you
    That's when your dreams will all come true

    Reach for the stars

    Climb every mountain higher
    Reach for the stars
    Follow your heart's desire
    Reach for the stars
    And when that rainbow's shining over you (shining, shining)
    That's when your dreams will all come true

    Reach for the stars

    Climb every mountain higher
    Reach for the stars

    28 min
  • Semi - Meta

    IT was a chilly November afternoon.  I had just consummated an unusually hearty dinner, of which the dyspeptic truffe formed not the least important item, and was sitting alone in  the dining-room, with my feet upon the fender, and at my elbow a small  table which I had rolled up to the fire, and upon which were some  apologies for dessert, with some miscellaneous bottles of wine, spirit  and liqueur.  In the morning I had been reading Glover's "Leonidas,"  Wilkie's "Epigoniad," Lamartine's "Pilgrimage," Barlow's "Columbiad,"  Tuckermann's "Sicily," and Griswold's "Curiosities" ;  I am willing to  confess, therefore, that I now felt a little stupid.  I made effort to  arouse myself by aid of frequent Lafitte,  and, all failing, I betook myself to a stray newspaper in  despair.  Having carefully perused the column of "houses to let," and  the column of "dogs lost," and then the two columns of "wives and  apprentices runaway," I attacked with great resolution the editorial  matter, and, reading it from beginning to end without understanding a  syllable, conceived the possibility of its being Chinese, and so re-read  it from the end to the beginning, but with no more satisfactory result.

    27 min
  • Semi - Heart

    Never give all the heart, for love

    Will hardly seem worth thinking of
    To passionate women if it seem
    Certain, and they never dream
    That it fades out from kiss to kiss;
    For everything that’s lovely is
    But a brief, dreamy, kind delight …

    24 min
  • Semi - Eggs

    When you kill it at the edge of the pan, you don't notice

    That the egg grows an eye in death.

    It is so small, it doesn't satisfy
    Even the most modest morning appetite.

    But it already watches, already stares at your world.
    What are its horizons, whose glassy-eyed perspectives?

    Does it see time, which moves carelessly through space?
    Eyeballs, eyeballs, cracked shells, chaos or order?

    Big questions for such a little eye at such an early hour.  
    And you – do you really want an answer?

    When you sit down, eye to eye, behind a table,
    You blind it soon enough with a crust of bread.

    27 min
  • Semi - Banter

    Anon to drawen every wight bigan,

    And, shortly for to tellen as it was,

    Were it by áventúre, or sort, or cas,

    The sothe is this, the cut fil to the Knyght,

    Of which ful blithe and glad was every wyght;

    And telle he moste his tale, as was resoun,

    By foreward and by composicioun,

    As ye han herd; what nedeth wordes mo?

    And whan this goode man saugh that it was so,

    As he that wys was and obedient

    To kepe his foreward by his free assent,

    He seyde, "Syn I shal bigynne the game,

    What, welcome be the cut, a Goddes name!

    Now lat us ryde, and herkneth what I seye."

    And with that word we ryden forth oure weye;

    And he bigan with right a myrie cheere

    His tale anon, and seyde in this manére

    30 min
  • Semi - Scotland

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!

    Alas! I am very sorry to say

    That ninety lives have been taken away

    On the last Sabbath day of 1879,

    Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

    ’Twas about seven o’clock at night,

    And the wind it blew with all its might,

    And the rain came pouring down,

    And the dark clouds seem’d to frown,

    And the Demon of the air seem’d to say—

    “I’ll blow down the Bridge of Tay.”

    When the train left Edinburgh

    The passengers’ hearts were light and felt no sorrow,

    But Boreas blew a terrific gale,

    Which made their hearts for to quail,

    And many of the passengers with fear did say—

    “I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay.”

    But when the train came near to Wormit Bay,

    Boreas he did loud and angry bray,

    And shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay

    On the last Sabbath day of 1879,

    Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

    So the train sped on with all its might,

    And Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sight,

    And the passengers’ hearts felt light,

    Thinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,

    With their friends at home they lov’d most dear,

    And wish them all a happy New Year.

    So the train mov’d slowly along the Bridge of Tay,

    Until it was about midway,

    Then the central girders with a crash gave way,

    And down went the train and passengers into the Tay!

    The Storm Fiend did loudly bray,

    Because ninety lives had been taken away,

    On the last Sabbath day of 1879,

    Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

    As soon as the catastrophe came to be known

    The alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,

    And the cry rang out all o’er the town,

    Good Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,

    And a passenger train from Edinburgh,

    Which fill’d all the people’ hearts with sorrow,

    And made them for to turn pale,

    Because none of the passengers were sav’d to tell the tale

    How the disaster happen’d on the last Sabbath day of 1879,

    Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

    It must have been an awful sight,

    To witness in the dusky moonlight,

    While the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,

    Along the Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,

    Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,

    I must now conclude my lay

    By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,

    That your central girders would not have given way,

    At least many sensible men do say,

    Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,

    At least many sensible men confesses,

    For the stronger we our houses do build,

    The less chance we have of being killed.

    30 min
  • Semi - Need

    Yeah

    Wanna know what it's like (like)

    Baby, show me what it's like (like)
    I don't really got no type (type)
    I just wanna fuck all night
    Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa (oh, ooh, mmm)
    Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know)
    I just been fantasizin' (size)
    And we got a lotta time (time)
    Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)
    Gotta know what it's like (like)
    Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa
    Baby, I need to know, mmm

    What's your size? (Size)

    Add, subtract, divide ('vide)
    Daddy don't throw no curves (curves)
    Hold up, I'm goin' wide (wide)
    We could just start at ten (ten)
    Then we can go to five (five)
    I don't play with my pen (pen)
    I mean what I write
    Yeah-yeah, whoa-whoa-whoa
    I just can't help but be sexual (whoa)
    Tell me your schedule (yeah)
    I got a lotta new tricks for you, baby
    Just sayin' I'm flexible (I will)
    I do what I can to get you off (I will)
    Might just fuck him with my makeup on (I will)
    Eat it like I need an apron on (yeah, ay)
    Eat it 'til I need to change my thong (yeah, ay)
    We could do it to your favorite song (yeah, ay)
    Take a ride into the danger zone
    You know my nigga be buggin' me
    I just be wonderin' if you can fuck on me better
    Itchin' for me like an ugly sweater
    Need it in me like a Chuck E. need cheddar
    I need to know (yeah)

    Wanna know what it's like (like)

    Baby, show me what it's like (like)
    I don't really got no type (type)
    I just wanna fuck all night
    Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa (oh, ooh, mmm)
    Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know)
    I just been fantasizin' (size)
    And we got a lotta time (time)
    Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)
    Gotta know what it's like (like)
    Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa
    Baby, I need to know, mmm

    You're exciting, boy, come find me

    Your eyes told me, "Girl, come ride me"
    Fuck that feeling both us fighting
    Could he try me? (Yeah) mmm, most likely

    Tryna see if you could handle this ass

    Prolly give his ass a panic attack
    Sorry if I gave a random erection
    Prolly thinkin' I'm a telekinetic
    Oh, wait, you a fan of the magic?
    Poof, pussy like an Alakazam (yeah)
    I heard from a friend of a friend
    That that dick was a ten out of ten
    I can't stand it, just one night me
    Clink with the drink, gimme a sip
    Tell me what's your kink, gimme the dick
    Spank me, slap me, choke me, bite me (ew)
    Uh, wait, I can take it (ah)
    Give a fuck 'bout what your wifey's sayin' (yeah)

    Wanna know what it's like (like)

    Baby, show me what it's like (like)
    I don't really got no type (type)
    I just wanna fuck all night
    Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa (oh, ooh, mmm)
    Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know)
    I just been fantasizin' (size)
    And we got a lotta time (time)
    Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)
    Gotta know what it's like (like)
    Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa
    Baby, I need to know, mmm

    25 min
  • Semi - Want

    When I was twelve, I wanted a macaw

    but they cost hundreds of dollars.

    If we win the lottery? I asked.

    Macaws weren’t known to be great talkers,

    but they were affectionate.

    Yes, my mother said. If we win the lottery.

    I was satisfied, so long as it wasn’t impossible.

    The macaw would be blue.

    30 min
  • Semi - Cabbage

    And now as the iron rinds over

    the ponds start dissolving,
    you come, dreaming of ferns and flowers
    and new leaves unfolding,
    upon the brash
    turnip-hearted skunk cabbage
    slinging its bunches leaves up
    through the chilling mud.
    You kneel beside it. The smell
    is lurid and flows out in the most
    unabashed way, attracting
    into itself a continual spattering
    of protein. Appalling its rough
    green caves, and the thought
    of the thick root nested below, stubborn
    and powerful as instinct!
    But these are the woods you love,
    where the secret name
    of every death is life again - a miracle
    wrought surely not of mere turning
    but of dense and scalding reenactment. Not
    tenderness, not longing, but daring and brawn
    pull down the frozen waterfall, the past.
    Ferns, leaves, flowers, the last subtle
    refinements, elegant and easeful, wait
    to rise and flourish.
    What blazes the trail is not necessarily pretty.

    28 min

About slanderhour

From the publisher's feed

A weekly pre-sleep, post-thought audio play investigating the nature of latent boredom and the strip-mining of emotional bereavement.