Slashers Podcast

Suffering from withdrawals from candy hearts and someone whispering sweet nothings into your crusty ears? Well, let us cure what ails you with a review of Valentine from 2001. That's right, the movie that launched David Boreanaz's film career to... what... oh, I am thinking of The Rock. Which one is David Boreanaz then? Why am I typing my stream of consciousness?

The film is a very loose adaptation of the novel of the same name by Tom Savage. Both works center around a revenge plot by a nerd, who has been cruelly ridiculed. In the film, the young welp was accused of sexually assaulting a girl, who withdrew her consent for a clandestine smooch session after a group of boys found them and she became ashamed. Years later, the nerd, who's got a great parlor trick of making his nose bleed virtually whenever, goes on a killing spree against that girl and her friends. Interestingly, he does not beat up the boys who tear his pants off and beat him up in the middle of a school dance, but maybe they will be in the sequel... that they are DEFINITELY making... after almost 20 years. 

The serial killer gives threatening valentine cards to each of the victims. We talk about why that was a bad idea and how he should have diverted the arts and crafts time to better plotting out his murder spree. 

Aside from Boreanaz and Denise Richards, there are no real big time actors in the film. Now, we can have a chicken/ egg debate if they did not have worthwhile careers, which is why they accepted a part in this film, or if appearing in this film all but ensured that they would not get work elsewhere, but this is the description of a podcast, and there is no moderator, so let's bookmark that idea for later. 

The film has not aged very well in certain ways, but showing how obtuse and arguably toxic men could be 20 years ago, through the #metoo lens of today, adds a layer to what would otherwise be an underwhelming movie. 

We also talk about the connections between this film and the Urban Legends franchise. This is actually how director, Jamie Blanks, got his gig on Valentine. 

What do you think of the Cherub getup? Is the statuesque mask creepy or hoaky? How does the costume compare to the legendary slashers of the Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street franchises? Let us know at [email protected].

This week's "Hidden Track" is The Hathors by Tsunami Bomb. We are huge fans of this band and have been for decades by this point. Please support them and let them know how you found them! https://tsunamibomb.bandcamp.com/album/the-spine-that-binds ; https://tsunamibomb.net/ ; https://www.facebook.com/tsunamibombofficial/

You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

Theme song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

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There are not many films that we feel are MANDATORY to be a "true horror fan." Generally, we avoid gatekeeping, but the original My Bloody Valentine is essential. Written by John Beaird based on a story by Stephen Miller, the film fell into undeserved obscurity and suffered due to repeated editing. Director, George Mihalka, has assured that the remastered version released on blu ray is 85% of the original film. 

The soundtrack was (mostly) written and performed by by Paul Zaza and Marie Bottrell. For some inexcusable reason, despite having the original tracks, Zaza has never formally released the  Ballad of Harry Warden by John McDermott. Be sure to treat yourself to googling that jammer of a track once this succulent episode is over. 

The film was somewhat unnecessarily remade in 2009. The film stars longstanding Supernatural lead, Jensen Ackles. Of note, the show even featured an episode by the name of "My Bloody Valentine."

Perhaps the best part of this film is the bit part by the prolific Tom Atkins. He chews the scenery a bit, but his death scene is surprisingly radical. 

Many of the actors from the original fell into obscurity, though some would grace your screens in such films as Robocop, First Blood, Star Trek: Voyager, and Meatballs. 

Despite making some serious money, being generally positively reviewed, and setting up a sequel in the final minutes of the film, there has been no remake to the 2009 version. We discuss why. 

The "Hidden Track" is by our friends at Buzzard Cult. Please show them support as they head into the studio to record some new music: https://buzzardcult.bandcamp.com/ ; https://www.facebook.com/buzzardcult/ ; https://www.instagram.com/buzzard_cult/

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

Theme song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

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Based on "The Forbidden" by Clive Barker, Candyman is a game-changing horror film, that deserves more celebration. Of Barker's adaptations, Candyman does deviate from its source material on a base level, but even the author conceded it did so in furthering the main message of the original novella. 

While the book is set in Ye Olde England, the film changes the setting to Cabrini Green in Chicago. This area was portrayed in the media as an irreparable hellscape with gang violence, drugs, and the dregs of society. In actuality, it was a housing project where its tenants were basically abandoned as it fell into disrepair. The situation was so bad that the first female mayor, Jane Margaret Byrne, moved there to make a political stance... only to leave three weeks later. 

Most of the changes from The Forbidden were conceived by writer/ director Bernard Rose (who actually makes a cameo in the film!). In subsequent interviews Barker has talked about those deviations and counseling Rose through the conception of the film. Barker gave Rose full confidence after being a fan of the director's earlier film, Paperhouse. 

The film stars Virginia Madsen as Helen Lyle, a graduate student desperate to cut her teeth and win the approval of her husband and his peers. Though Madsen appeared in other films like Dune and The Haunting, she has since said that she is most recognized for this film, and rightfully so. Lyle is accompanied by her colleague, Bernadette Walsh, played by Kasi Lemmons. Lemmons had a nice stint playing the sidekick to compulsively investigating white women, as she also appeared beside Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs. 

The titular Candyman is played by the towering Tony Todd. While Eddie Murphy was strongly considered for the role, the fact that he came with a trillion-dollar price tag and that he would need to borrow Gene Simmons' platform shoes gave Todd the edge in casting. Todd was an accomplished stage actor who was dedicated to adding to the backstory of his character, which is virtually nonexistent in the source material. In fact, the Candyman from the novella is described as having skim that is an unnatural/ jaundiced shade of yellow, an unruly red beard, rouged cheeks, blue lips, eyes like rubies, and a patchwork coat. 

We discuss the formation of the character and the somewhat unbelievable backstory of Candyman's iconic hook. We also discuss the racial themes in the film, which are still problematically topical in 2020! Lastly, we discuss what we hope for in the coming reboot/ remake/ spiritual successor, which is being produced by Jordan Peele. 

Where do you rank this film among the horror classics? What about Barker's adaptations like Hellraiser, Nightbreed, Rawhead Rex, Lords of Illusions, and The Midnight Meat Train? Be sure to let us know!

The "Hidden Track" this week is Candyman by Blitzkid. Check them out on their reunion shows, appropriately dubbed the Escape the Grave Tour! https://www.facebook.com/BlitzkidOfficial/ ; https://open.spotify.com/artist/1u8qqOF2w0kgbg1QLXEXSJ

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

Theme song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

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This cult classic, written and directed by Eli Craig, took me by surprise. I remember seeing the trailer and thinking, "okay, all of the best parts surely had to be in the trailer." Then I saw the film and saw that it was more than a simple spoof, offering some legitimate laughs and a solid understanding of horror tropes. 

The film stars both Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine as the titular Tucker and Dale. You might remember Tudyk from his work as Wash in Firefly or the plethora of characters he has voiced for DC Comics including: Green Arrow, Superman, Clayface, and The Flash. He was also the only redeeming part of Rogue One, according to Jake, in his portrayal of sassy robot: K-2SO. Labine is no stranger to horror comedies, given that he has starred in Reaper, Deadbeat, and Dead Last. Both men went on to appear in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. 

The "College Kids" that litter the film are played by various actors I am too lazy to look up, even to add metadata to this stupid description for the sake of SEO content. They encapsulate all of the awful tropes about coeds that make you root for slashers to slay them indiscriminately. 

Through a series of misunderstandings, that are directly addressed within the film, the kids mistake the good-natured rednecks for mutant inbred deviant murderers. There is even a twist! Oh-- BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY THERE IS A CUTE DOG!

The "Hidden Track" this week is Gyrojets with their song "Pieces. https://gyrojets.bandcamp.com/

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

Theme song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

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On this week's episode we talk about some nonindigenous vampire roommates, living it up in the New Zealand undead underbelly. Originally a short film entitled, What We Do in the Shadows: Interviews with Some Vampires in 2005, over the next nine years the idea developed into a full-length film, spawning two spinoff TV shows. 

By the end of filming in 2012, the team has over 125 hours of footage. There are rumored to be three different cuts of the film, each highlighting a different narrative element. Editing ultimately took over a year to complete. The film was written and directed by Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords, Men in Black 3, Moana) Taika Waititi (Jojo Rabbit, Thor Ragnarok, The Hunt for the Wilderpeople).

Clement's character was originally Vulvus the Abhorrent, before the feature film presented us with Vladislov, "The Poker." Vlad is a once-great lover and shapeshifter, who has been in something of a rut after losing a duel with his nefarious nemesis... The Beast.

Waititi's character, initially Count Viago, before become much less formal with simply, "Viago," is something of a neat freak dandy. While the film could have simply languished as a rehash and repackaging of The Odd Couple, the film adds new characters and events to give a change of pace and scenery. 

Ben Fransham plays their 8,000 year old Nosferatu/ Count Orlock-looking flatmate: Petyr. Jonny Brugh plays their youngest friend and cohabitant, Deacon, at least until newcomer, Nick, enters the gang. Nick (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer) is impetuous, braggadocios, and finds himself drawing the ire of the other vampires when he leads a vampire hunter to their door. Luckily, the other vampires' fondness of Nick's human friend, Stu, brings him back into their good graces. 

Comedy legend, Rhys Darby, plays Anton, the leader of a local pack of werewolves. Much is made of the werewolves and their self-help approach to their lycanthropy, leading to such iconic turns of phrase as, "We're werewolves, not swearwolves!" The werewolf culture established is so gutbustingly funny that it has made its way into both Wellington Paranormal and the FX series What We Do in the Shadows, which returns this April. 

The "Hidden Track" this week is Graveview with their jammer, No Hope. You can find them here: https://graveview.bandcamp.com/releases ; https://www.facebook.com/Graveview/

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

Theme song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's episode is on Cabin in the Woods, or should we call it the movie of a thousand movies? The film was written by Joss Wheadon (Avengers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) and Drew Goddard (Daredevil, Cloverfield, Angel). The due apparently bunkered down in a hotel for three days to write the initial draft of the script. 

The film stars a pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth (Ghostbusters, Rush, Men in Black: International) as "the athlete." The "virgin" is played by Kristen Connolly (Zoo, Evil, Whispers). The "fool" is played by Fran Kranz (Bloodsucking Bastards, Dollhouse, JourneyQuest). The "scholar" is Jesse Williams (Grey's Anatomy).  Lastly, Anna Hutchinson (Power Rangers Jungle Fury, Spartacus)

Two classic character actors complete the general framework of the film as the puppetmasters, orchestrating the doom of our campers: Richard Jenkins (The Shape of Water, Step Brothers, Let Me In) and Bradley Whitford (Get Out, The Handmaid's Tale, Robocop 3). 

After establishing the narrative of a group of college co-eds going to a secluded cabin for the weekend, we find that all is not what it seems... Even after being accosted by a deranged gas station attendant, the team pushes on for the promise of a relaxing weekend getaway. Through an elaborate series of events, the group ends up in the basement where they unwittingly choose the method of their own demise. 

In this scene alone there are references to so many iconic horror movies and moments. There is Evil Dead, both in setting and through props, but there is the werewolf, wraiths, mutants as seen in The Hills Have Eyes by Wes Craven, a lemarchand's box referencing the Hellraiser franchise with its Lament Configuration, mummy, merman, scarecrow folk, and a snowman. They ultimately choose the Redneck Murder Family, which is of course a reference to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wrong Turn, and Hatchet. 

Later, we see on screen including an alien beast, dismemeberment goblins, sugarplum fairy, blob, unicorn, zombies, a "dragon bat," a giant snake, and so many others. 

You find that this is all part of some ritual to sate the blood lust of The Ancient Ones. These malevolent pseudo-deities are meant to represent the audience and our craving for new methods the macabre, madness, and mammaries. On the show, we even talk about the novelization and the visual companion, which revealed more monstrosities. 

The best non-movie monsters are undoubtedly the "snake pubic hair woman" and "woman with a toothed vagina." We discuss a potential superhero-style team-up for these two. 

This week's "Hidden Track" is Paddle Cell with their song, Ghost Girl. http://www.paddlecell.de/ 

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

Theme song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

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What a year it has been! We have reviewed films and provided reports on so many topics!

Our pilot episode was Event Horizon, 

The first official episode was a review of Pet Sematary (1989), its sequel, and the novel by Stephen King. Then we moved on to An American Werewolf in London. 

The next film we discussed was The Faculty, think Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but with pomade. We then argued about C.H.U.D., where Jake defended it while Bryan was resoundingly luke warm on the classic. 

Mimic was the debut appearance of Jake's beautiful wife, Ciara. We had a failed foray into true crime discussing the Ted Bundy confession tapes documentary that sucked ass. Ciara returned very quickly and we talked The Craft. 

Our next Stephen King adaptation was Salem's Lot. 

Blood Diner was the undefeated "Trashic" champion for the entire year, the best good-bad movie of all. 

We then reviewed Carrie, who according to the novel "...eats shit."

Next was the very loose H.P. Lovecraft adaptation, Castle Freak. 

We reviewed two Leprechaun films, the original and the 4th, in space. 

We have done two Clint Howard classics, Ice Cream Man and Ticks. 

Did you know that Stephen King wrote The Running Man? 

Street Trash features an old fashioned dick toss.

The Lost Boys has nothing to do with Peter Pan.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes is incalculably better than the original.

Toxic Avenger Part III sucks.

The Void is spectacular.

The Omen has the best opening of any movie ever.

Legion is actually rad.

So I Married an Axe Murderer is an affront to human decency.

1408 is succinct.

Body Bags should have been an ongoing series.

Cujo is rabid.

High Tension is French.

The Loved Ones was more fun than prom.

Jaws is totes gnar.

Vampire Hunter D really ain't bad.

As Above, So Below is literature in disguise.

Maximum Overdrive proves Stanley Kubrick was right.

Arachnophobia makes me happy.

Eight Legged Freaks holds up super well.

It, is too long of a book, but all of the film adaptations are worthwhile.

Tales from the Crypt should be mandatory reading.

Bad Taste will change your view of independent film.

Wes Craven was a weirdo, but a legend.

Battle of the Cryptids, because bigfoot would do jiu jitsu.

Alien, while derivative, is wholly unique.

Shaun of the Dead, is kinda the same as Alien in that regard. 

The Shining is a masterpiece, but people are crazy. 

Marvel Zombies is exhausting, but great.

Yokai are super duper interesting.

Hammer Films are legendary.

Little Monsters is charming.

Phantoms is bad.

Gremlinsis the perfect holiday film.

13th Warrior is an honorary slasher due to swords.

Krampus needs to be a yearly tradition.

Demonic Toys vs. Small Soldiers is actually a closer argument than you'd think.

This week's "Hidden Track" is actually our new official theme song! The song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

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One was a direct-to-video rehash of a fledgling studio's biggest success; the other, was a multimillion dollar behemoth that should have taken the world by storm. How do they compare? This is our first "VERSUS MODE" episode, and we plan to pit more comparable movies against each other in the future. Please let us know what you think!

Demonic Toys, released 1992, was shot on a shoestring budget with handpuppets. These puppets would go on to make cameo appearances in The Dollman vs. The Demonic Toys, The Puppet Master vs. The Demonic Toys, Devil Dolls, The Haunted Dollhouse, and Evil Bong and ultimately get their own sequel 18 years later in The Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons. The puppets were actually referenced in Krampus, with very similar toys, with the same penchant for bloodshed. 

The film was written by David S. Goyer (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Dark City, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Nick Fury: Agent of Shield, Blade, Blade II, Blade Trinity, Jumper, Ghostrider Spirit of Vengeance... are you seeing a theme here?). Goyer's story involves a demon, trapped in a nether realm, trying to possess the unborn, bastard child of a recently widowed police officer. 

Charles Band, head of Full Moon Films, produced this film, as he had 304 others. If you compiled all the budgets to his films, you still might not even total the budget of its competitor on this episode: Small Soldiers. His brother, Richard Band, did the music. Totally appropriate name, right?

Now Small Soldiers had a budget of $40,000,000. It was directed by the prolific Joe Dante (Gremlins, The Howling). Stan Winston (Terminator, Predator, Alien) designed and made the titular Small Soldiers. It had the amazing orchestration of Jerry buttfucking Goldsmith (Star Trek, Jurassic Park, Rambo). The film also spawned a toy line and multiple video games. 

The film pits the Commando Elite (basically G.I. Joes) against the Gorgonites (kinda think Masters of the Universe... oh, and Frank Langella who played Skeletor plays the Gorgonite leader, Archer!). Blah blah, technobabble, the animatronic toys actually go crazy in an imperialist quest to subjugate and destroy the monster toys, upheaving a suburban town. 

Sadly, this was Phil Hartman's last film. Aside from being about 30 minutes too long, this was a decent sendoff to a comedy legend. Comedy powerhouses Jay Mohr, David Cross, and Denis Leary create a great backdrop to to a mosaic of special effects and mayhem. 

As we contrast the two, we discuss special effects, plot/ story, cinematography, acting, directing, music, basically everything that makes a movie not suck. 

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

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Sure we are too late for Krampusnacht, but we are int time for Santa Day! This movie has a special space in the shriveled black blood-pumping hearts of Bryan and Chad, who saw it together in theaters years ago. Since then, every year they exchange some form of Krampus present to celebrate Christmas. 

The film starts Emjay Anthony as Max Engel, a child trying to reconcile being too old to believe in Santa and the aftermath of his Kevin McAlister-style outburst. Adam Scott (Parks and Rec, Ghosted,  Little Evil, Piranha 3D) as Tom Engel, the somewhat distant father who is dreadingyet another holiday with his in-laws. Toni Collette (Hereditary, Little Miss Sunshine, Knives Out) as Sarah Engel, a woman desperately trying to keep some semblance of civility in a house of wolves! David Koechner (Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, Hell and Back, A Haunted House) as Howard, who is basically Jake's father-in-law throughout the film. Last, Conchata Ferrell plays Aunt Dorothy. She is delightful. Sure, she plays the same character in everything, but still. So great. 

The film was written and directed by Michael Dougherty, an aficionado of holiday horror. How he leveraged his cult success, Trick 'r Treat into making  huge-budget Godzilla movies, I will never know, but this movie really showed his capabilities as a director. 

The film is rife with references and homage, ranging from Demonic Toys, to Tremors, with a Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, and Gremlins in between. 

The "Hidden Track" this week is Terra Atlantica with their song, THE AVENGING NARWHAL! 

 https://www.terra-atlantica.de/, 

Instagram: @terraatlantica

https://open.spotify.com/artist/2jjCMNei7oJGKMal41tAZE

If you ever have feedback or recommendations on future episodes, please let us know at [email protected]. You can always find us on our social media: Instagram, Twitter, Slasher App: @slasherspod Facebook: /slasherspod Reddit: u/slasherspod https://www.youtube.com/c/slasherspodcast

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